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floridianfairy
1 Sep 06, 12:49 PM
When we went to a newly diagnosed weekend with the N.Deaf Childrens Society one of the speakers read this, it is written by Emily Perl Kinglsey
There wasn't a dry eye in the room after she read it.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.It's like this
When you are going to have a baby,it's like planning a wonderful vacation to Italy.You get a bunch of guide books and make all your plans. The Coliseum.......Michaelangelo........... the gondolas in Venice.You get a book of handy phrases and learn how to say a few phrases in Italian.It's all very exciting.Finally the time comes for the trip. You pack your bags and off you go.
Several hours later, the plane lands,The stewardess comes in and says''Welcome to Holland''
Holland? you say.Holland? I'm meant to be in Italy!All my life I dreamed of going to Italy!
I'm sorry she says. There's been a change and we have landed in Holland
But I don't know anything about Holland!
What's important is they haven't taken you to a terrible ugly place,full of famine,pestilence and disease. It's just- a difference place
So you have to go out and buy a whole new set of guide books..........you have to learn a whole new language...and you will meet a whole new bunch of people you would never have met otherwise.
Holland. It is a slower paced than Italy,less flashy than Italy...but after you've been there for a while,and you've had a chance to catch your breath,you look around and begin to discover that Holland has windmills...........and Holland has tulips.....Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they are all bragging about what a great time they had there.And for the rest of your life you will say Yes,that's where Iwas supposed to go.That's what I had planned.And the pain of that will never ever go away.And you must accept that pain-because the loss of that dream is a very,very significant loss.
But...... if you spend your time mourning the fact you never got to go to Italy,you may never be able to enjoy the very lovely,very special thinghs about Holland.


I am sure most of you have read this before,if not hope it helps.
Claire[floridianfairy]:wavey:

stevered1
1 Sep 06, 12:51 PM
I have read this before and love to read it every so often so remind me that I do enjoy being in Holland. Yes maybe do miss the fact we never got to goto Italy with everyone else.

I say enjoy whatever you have an appreciate it

SusieK
1 Sep 06, 02:43 PM
What a lovely passage. Thanks for posting it.

Sean_and_Sue
1 Sep 06, 02:54 PM
Thats lovely - and you only have to read the thread posted in chat today, about the father and disabled son, to see the truth of it. Both the father and the son would have missed out on one of the most beautiful and fantastic bonds and relationships I have ever read about....................If the Father had "gone to Italy" instead.

Love Suexx

TinkTatoo
2 Sep 06, 08:40 AM
I've read that and I think it is very apt. It's nice to re read it - thanks for posting.