Not Going to Goa in 2 weeks!?

[susieb]

Ive booked to go to Goa for a week on my own in 2 weeks. I booked it ages ago. I am a single parent and I work fulltime and my mum and sis are having DD age nearly 5. I just needed some time to relax before I had a breakdown!!!

The problem is....I dont want to leave DD and I am really regretting booking. If I cancelled now or changed I would lose 80%.

DD swings between wanting me to go so she can stay with nanny and not wanting me to go...I cant really get a feel from her.

Ive never left her before for more than 2 nights.

Please tell me what to do!!!!!

[Little Monkey]

Firstly I wouldnt be asking my DD of such a young age how she felt about 'mummy' going away - she will have no concept of the time and how it will feel for a week. So this is really a decision you are going to have to make on your own,I appreciate that as you work fulltime that you could do with a bit of 'you' time. If you have left your DD before and she was ok - didnt get to upset about you not being around then as you have booked and paid for it I think you should go ahead. But...if she got a bit tearful and was always asking where you were then personally i couldnt leave her whilst i went away. Is there no way you can change your plans and go for a break somewhere nearer to home so that if YOU feel you want to come home because you miss your daughter you can. I do wonder why if you havent left her for more than 2 nights previously why did you decided to go for a week and so far away?? At the end of the day its how you are going to feel about the decision you make.

[piglets pal]

what a trcky situation

i had to leave my DS 6 and DD 8 months for 6 nights in Jan due to my return to work clashing with training away from home !!!

i found it harder than the children !!!!

80% is a lot to lose !!!!!!! will the travel agent not let you re book something else for you and DD if not i would really say go for it! its a week and if its not great for you ar DD you won't do it again and you may be surprised that you may actually like it when you are there

hope this is of some help

[Sue Bradley]

I think you are just getting cold feet about this and should press on-providing you have booked something 'safe' to travel on your own I' m not sure Goa is accordingto my ex husband who is much travelled,but was mugged in Goa.Your choice does seem a bit drastic. Your daughter will be fine,I think it will be you who gets seperation anxiety. It's a lot to lose and only you can really judge whether you want to go-leaving your daughter out of the equation,would you want to go? If it was me and I answered yes to that question I would go ahead.

[sue.o]

I personally think you should go!! Its not as though you're leaving her with strangers - your Mum and sister are probably the best people to leave her with! It will do you good to have some "me" time and recharge your batteries! My kids are 26 and 25 and I left them with my parents when they were young - it certainly hasn't done them any harm!
Have a great time!! Oh and by the way, you can get mugged anywhere! My husband got mugged in the centre of Cambridge nearly 20 years ago and nobody came to his aid!!

sue.o

[spenners]

Go Go Go :cool2:

[mobeckwith]

i think you should go,then for the other 51weeks,you can enjoy being with your daughter.all parents deserve a bit of time off,go,chill,swim,read a good book,have cocktails and enjoy the sunshine,buy a present for your mum and daughter and have a wonderful time. :spin: :spin: mo.

[susieb]

thanks all.

Ive booked a package with cosmos staying in candolim in a central hotel so I think safety is probably ok, but who knows?

DD has been fine with nanny before she asks for me when tired or told off but doesnt cry for me as such. She is very very close to my mum as she doesnt have any contact with her dad, my mum is really her other parent.

Oh what to do.....

[June]

i would go if i was you

[hayleyandhilda]

GO enjoy yourself your DD will get spoilt rotten at nannies house
and you will spend every minute that your away thinking of her
i went away for 10 day when dd was 2 and phoned her everyday i missed her more than she did me

[BevS97]

I think you should go, apart from the fact that losing 80% is just not a good idea, your DD will have the time of her life at Nanny's, and after the first half hour she won't miss you at all.

My brother and his wife went to Majorca last year and my mum had the kids for 5 nights, I was there a lot and I can honestly say that the boys never asked for their parents after the first half hour, and they live far away from us and don't see either their granny or me very often.

Have a lovely time,

Bev

[Heather1957]

Definately go - you are not just a mother you are still a person and I suspect you will be able to be a better mother to your daughter if you take this break.

I know not every mother feels the same and it's a very personal decision, but it does not make you a bad mother if you take some YOU time!! You work hard to provide for yourself and your daughter so reward yourself.

You'll both be fine - go and have a fantastic - guilt free holiday!!

[tiff]

We booked a weekend in Paris when my youngest was 7 months old, after we had all been through a terrible time. I was wracked with guilt and although we went and had a great time I never did put myself in that position again. We've since had weekends away in London and hopefully now the kids are 10 and 7 we will get to have a weekend in Europe at some point. I can sympathise with how you are feeling, but I think you should go.

[Sue Bradley]

Once you have made your decision you should just relax-and I think that you should go.Once you have made your mind up I think you will be ok. We left my daughter with nanny when she was 2,and although I had her photo with me all the time and thought about her a lot,boy did I appreciate her when I got back after a total break for a week. Just remember the reasons you booked it in the first place,and the week will pass all too quickly. Good luck with your decision,x

[the melster]

I have stayed in Candolim and it is one of the best holidays I have had .. our adopted taxi driver still texts us now and then for a chat .. would go back tomorrow. A real freedom holiday.

mel

[susieb]

mel did you think candolim was safe for a single traveller?

[daviewat]

If your Mum is happy with a and DD is happy with it then alls well :-) I reckon. We left our DD at 5 weeks with my wives sister !!!!! for a week, Wife had a very very bad time with her birth so really needed to get her rested as best as we could for a little bit.


We have since then left DD with my mother for times of up to 10 days at a go and she loves it.



If you are all happy than there is not a problem there. If however you really do have serious boubts about it it will be you who suffers and may not fully enjoy the break away.

[the melster]

mel did you think candolim was safe for a single traveller?

Candolim is a quieter resort and I never once felt unsafe .. be very careful when walking at night as the driving has to be seen to be believed .. we used to use a tuk tuk at night to get around.

One day we walked right up the beach at dawn to see the fishermen land their catch and I forgot something and DH went back to get it. I sat on the beach on my own miles from anywhere and as the fishermen walked past they all said good morning madam. They are a lovely peaceful people.

We found a taxi driver we liked and kept him for the whole holiday .. it was about £13 to hire him for the whole day and we would just go wherever we wanted. There were no 'no go' areas.

I would highly recommend you going to Nina's Nook in Candolim which doesn't look much and is a small shop that has tables outside. You buy your drinks in the shop and then sit outside with them. This is where the local Brit's go who live there and they are very welcoming and you will get some excellent tips and advice from them.

mel

[Astrid]

As a single Mum too I can sympathise with your feelings, however, I too think you should go. I've needed time away from my two and have always had weekends away and also a week away from them and it makes me a better person when I return. I appreciate them more and feel refreshed and ready to take on the world!!

They miss me and I miss them but it's important for our relationship to have time apart!

I'm sure you'll have the most wonderful time, it's only a week after all and you know your daughter will be with those who love her the most (after you of course!) and will be cared for brilliantly.

Enjoy your week of freedom :)

[susieb]

thanks all. Thats it. Im going.

[Astrid]

Excellent!! Have a wonderful time Susie :)

[Sue Bradley]

good for you! I noly came back on this evening to see if you had made your mind up,I think the melsters info is very reassuring for you.Now don't go changing your mind-YOU ARE GOING!

[summerlily2002]

thanks all. Thats it. Im going.


Good on you, was just going to tell you to go when i read that you are!!

Hope you have a fantastic time x

[susieb]

thanks everyone....I might even find an internet cafe while Im there and post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Minniesmum]

I left my DD 5 and went to florida for 2 weeks in june, she stayed with my parents and sis, she didnt want me to go at times too but she had an excellent time and so did we. Go for it, sounds like you need it, and looking at your signature it seems you are taking her away soon.
Have a nice time :)

[susieb]

thanks so much for your comments, yes I am taking her and my nephew in Aug to WDW, I live for her, but I run my own business and I am so tired....I have a stack of books to read and just want to do NOTHING.

[susieb]

the update!

Well I DID go, and Goa is gorgeous. I would recommend the far north or South Goa in a heartbeat but avoid Calangute, Candolim and Baga as they are all very very commercial.

I had a good time but I wouldnt leave DD again for a week, I simply missed her too much. I think it was a good thing to go as now I know what my limits are, and this is 2 or maybe 3 nights away and somewhere not so far from her!!

[Little Monkey]

the update!

Well I DID go, and Goa is gorgeous. I would recommend the far north or South Goa in a heartbeat but avoid Calangute, Candolim and Baga as they are all very very commercial.

I had a good time but I wouldnt leave DD again for a week, I simply missed her too much. I think it was a good thing to go as now I know what my limits are, and this is 2 or maybe 3 nights away and somewhere not so far from her!!

I remember your OP so just want to say that I am pleased you did decide to go afterall.....it was obviously just what you needed, I am sure your DD was very pleased to see you back though and gave you a big hug!!!! As you say it gave you an idea of how long you felt happy at being parted from her......sometimes just a couple of days is all it takes to recharge the batteries!!

[sunsetlakes]

Go Go Goa!!

Trust us, you will miss your DD more than she will miss you - she will be spoilt rotten by Nanny & all!! You will bring her back a big pressie and lots of stories!! Wow, its almost as good as Christmas. You will both benefit from a little "away" time and when you get home she'll delight in your special time together to chat about what you have done, etc. Take lots of piccies!
Have a great time

[Fiona]

the update!

Well I DID go, and Goa is gorgeous. I would recommend the far north or South Goa in a heartbeat but avoid Calangute, Candolim and Baga as they are all very very commercial.

I had a good time but I wouldnt leave DD again for a week, I simply missed her too much. I think it was a good thing to go as now I know what my limits are, and this is 2 or maybe 3 nights away and somewhere not so far from her!!
It`s not something I could have done, but I`m glad the holiday went well for you and for your daughter at home. :-)

[Fiona]

I left my DD 5 and went to florida for 2 weeks in june, she stayed with my parents and sis, she didnt want me to go at times too but she had an excellent time and so did we. Go for it, sounds like you need it, and looking at your signature it seems you are taking her away soon.
Have a nice time :)
We have two sons, now 17 and nearly 16, and they have been visiting Florida since they were really young. We could never have left them at home and gone without them, plenty of time for that when they are grown-up and don`t want to come with us. I could never have left my kids knowing they didn`t want me to go. I couldn`t have done it to them and even if I had, I could not have enjoyed the holiday, knowing that they hadn`t wanted me to go. You must be really emotionally strong to have left your daughter, thank goodness she was ok when you were away.

[Astrid]

the update!

Well I DID go, and Goa is gorgeous. I would recommend the far north or South Goa in a heartbeat but avoid Calangute, Candolim and Baga as they are all very very commercial.

I had a good time but I wouldnt leave DD again for a week, I simply missed her too much. I think it was a good thing to go as now I know what my limits are, and this is 2 or maybe 3 nights away and somewhere not so far from her!!

So please you had a lovely time Susie. I'm sure the rest did you the world of good and now you can really look forward to your next holiday with your daughter.

We all need different things from holidays and there is nothing wrong with needing time away from our children, especially single parents, I have a week away from mine most year to recharge my batteries and they have a fun week with their Dad but I always miss them and can't wait to be back with them again!

It was great that you now know what your 'limits' are. Make sure you treat yourself to that 2 or 3 nights away every so often if you can. We all need a bit of 'me' time once in a while.

My boyfriends daughter who's 19 is off to Goa in April, have you got any hints or tips for her? I'm not sure whereabouts she is going yet.

[peter pan's mum]

the update!

Well I DID go, and Goa is gorgeous. I would recommend the far north or South Goa in a heartbeat but avoid Calangute, Candolim and Baga as they are all very very commercial.

I had a good time but I wouldnt leave DD again for a week, I simply missed her too much. I think it was a good thing to go as now I know what my limits are, and this is 2 or maybe 3 nights away and somewhere not so far from her!!

Awww! I'm so pleased you had a good time.:grin:

It’s nice to recharge your batteries now and again.

[susieb]

Hi Astrid! Thanks for your message and to the others who replied. I am planning my next trip alone already but only for 3 nights (prob NYC) but not a week...!

yes lots of tips - where is she going and what kind of trip? is she on a package or backbacking? Who is she going with ie bf or mates or mum etc? Let me know whats her thing and I will do my best! Its a beautiful country, and the people so friendly, and the shopping is the BEST!

[susieb]

By the way my daughter was totally fine didnt cry once was not at all bothered! I, on the other hand, cried every night....

[hayleyandhilda]

By the way my daughter was totally fine didnt cry once was not at all bothered! I, on the other hand, cried every night....

i am really glad that you went and had some you time it does us the world of good sometimes

my daughter too wasn't bothered about me being away because she had Nana