Cyber Bullying

[Stu]

Guys,
I have had a report saying that bullying is occurring on this site,
by this I mean a member or members here on the DIBB is deliberately being targeted by a group of other members, supposedly these other members get together on another gossip forum site to discuss the member that they intend to bully.

I am currently seeking any evidence of this and would ask any member that has experienced this to contact me.

I need usernames, PM's and links to the actual posts so that I can properly investigate this.

If this is going on then I find it really distasteful and sad that a group of so called adults could behave in this way - it's even sadder to think that they are probably now smirking like stupid little children because of this post.

All I can say is if I find this is occurring then I wonder if those childish members doing the bullying will appreciate me posting all the evidence and their usernames here for all to see? After all you might think they are just normal members, so surely it would be in your best interest to know the type of person they really are!

There are more important things in life.... :(

[Malcolm]

Stu.... i am sure you will have the full support of the Dibb membership without the need to ask if you send on any evidence to the local Police and i know there are some Police members on here that i am sure would assist you with who to pass on your evidence too...

Malcolm

[wendiandco]

Hi Stu

I am fairly sure I was on-line yesterday reading the posts that built up to this, and I felt very uncomfortable reading them at the time.

As a newbie I am on here to get excited about going on Holiday, not to read nasty stuff like that.

I think the people who are behaving in this way should be named and shamed and perhaps even banned. No one should have to tolerate bullying.

I wish that was all I had to worry me in life, grow up!

[pongo]

im shocked by this i only hope that you get it sorted and put the people to blame to shame you wouldnt tolerate it from children !!!! :( :(

[Scotsmomma]

I noticed it on Wednesday ..it was blatantly obvious it was bullying....very much like a school playground....

[Stu]

Guy's,
It's no good saying here that you have noticed it going on, I NEED you to send me relevant details via PM, including a link to the post or posts in question, any usernames involved etc...

Sorry to be so blunt but the only way I can deal with this is with facts rather what could otherwise be considered just hearsay.

[Heather1957]

There may be a problem in that the moderators have either removed threads or edited the posts that would be relevant.

[ccarcher]

I fully agree with your comments STU reveal who they are

At which point i apologise now to Elsie if it was anything to do with the comments I made (in jest) relating to the Sat Nav thread

Although I am pretty sure it would have needed to be much more serious than this - as the type of comments I posted appear on most threads as good banter between members

[I love walmart]

Do the moderators sometimes remove parts of threads? I have noticed sometimes that threads are locked when there doesn't seem to be anything THAT bad said. Is it that some offensive comments are removed and then the thread is locked?

I know that some debates can get a little heated. I myself have posted comments on some threads when they first open, then went back a couple of hours later to find they're like 10 pages long! :omg:
I think this is were it can look like bullying, it really doesn't need twenty people shouting the same thing at the original poster. I have to admit to feeling bad for the OP when these threads do escalate and a little guilty for being part of it even if it was just me giving my opinion on page one.

I think some posters do post things that they know will get a reaction but I think others maybe just don't think things through properly before posting or are feeling a little emotional and post things they wouldn't normally. I like a debate but I think a little more thought before hitting that "reply" button would be a good idea in future :)

[carys]

I think some threads are started to diliberately get certain peoples backs up , but i also think that there is retaliation ! If it is the threads i have read and am thinking of i consider them 6 of one half a dozen of the other tbh ! I have had differences of opinion with people and felt i have been respectful of their opinions or tried to make things lighthearted on occassion only to have insults and rudeness ! So i would ask who is the bully and who is the victim as it seems to me it goes full circle often ! I find myself doing less of the " Dibbing " and more of the basic holiday stuff now and tbh even less of that .

[digdisney]

I must admit I havn't really noticed any bullying. Ive seen a few heated threads lately but tbh I think these occur because the op doesnt like the opinions of the other posters!

I do tend to stick to the Florida related threads only, So maybe ive just missed the offending threads!

If you find out it has gone on then name and shame! I cant stand bullies.

[marioner]

I think we know the thread that is in question, In my opinion, I think it was started to cause a debate and it was going on as a debate,I think it escalated towards the end and was rightly was closed, but I didn't see it as bullying, just a heated debate which often happens on here. There are often comments made to cause a reaction and people will react, I have seen a lot worse on here. Having said that, if the person in question is being targeted from another site, and it rolls over on to the Dibb, then it needs addressing.
Hope it gets sorted one way or another.

[I love walmart]

I think "naming and shaming" is not going to help. Is it a definite case of planned bullying going on? Do we know of any history between the Dibbers? Could a quiet word with the offenders be more appropriate? What if the so called victim is just stirring trouble?
I don't think the lynch mob approach is going to make things any better myself.

BTW I don't have a clue who the "bullys or "victims" are, so I am only throwing questions about not making accusations.

[Stu]

Carys, you are correct in what you say, however this isn't about an individual retaliating or an individual making a post knowing it will get a heated reaction. It's about a number of people actively targetting another member or members. Idiots going out of their way to actually discuss their actions on another site before coming here and combining their childish efforts to attack members here!

There will always be differences of opinions and there will undoubtedly be arguments between individuals, what concerns me here is the very nature of what seems to be a playground mentality, bullying on a pre-meditated and thought out basis.

This doesn't seem to be about one single thread as some are suggesting.

Even if it is "6 of one half a dozen of the other" does that really justify a planned effort from a number of people to act in a way that would be considered group bullying?

[Dawn]

If it's the thread I'm thinking of then the opening post was inflammatory and it appeared intended to provoke comment. I didn't see any bullying, just a lot of people upset by the original poster's comments.

But hey, maybe I've got totally the wrong thread in mind. :erm:

[carys]

Carys, you are correct in what you say, however this isn't about an individual retaliating or an individual making a post knowing it will get a heated reaction. It's about a number of people actively targetting another member or members. Idiots going out of their way to actually discuss their actions on another site before coming here and combining their childish efforts to attack members here!

There will always be differences of opinions and there will undoubtedly be arguments between individuals, what concerns me here is the very nature of what seems to be a playground mentality, bullying on a pre-meditated and thought out basis.

Even if it is "6 of one half a dozen of the other" does that really justify a planned effort from a number of people to act in a way that would be considered group bullying?

No it doesn't justify a planned effort at all ! But if i go away right now and say to my dh or best friend " look what this person has just said to me/another on a public forum and i am offended/hurt " Who is to say that if they then back me up that that is wrong ? Some people on here are more vunerable and if i see them shouted down i am afraid i will stick up for them ! I have to deal with bullying almost everyday cyber and otherwise in my roles away from here ( my escape ) and it is reprehensible ! But i am just pointing out you need to know where the fine line is ! If my child thumps someone who thumps him first who is to blame ? TBH i think that everyone myself included needs to have a look at how they retaliate to rudeness as opposed to debate ! But i will say these conspiracy theories are unhelpful and just make people paranoid imho

[Heather1957]

I believed this thread was started by Stu so people could contact him regarding any bullying not to discuss what is or isn't bullying.

I think people are just thinking of 1 occasion but it is more than that and on a more organised scale.

If a group of people (and they know who they are) target a smaller group then it's bullying - period.

Anyway, I think Stu is looking for evidence and not discussion.

[carys]

I believed this thread was started by Stu so people could contact him regarding any bullying not to discuss what is or isn't bullying.

I think people are just thinking of 1 occasion but it is more than that and on a more organised scale.

If a group of people (and they know who they are) target a smaller group then it's bullying - period.

Anyway, I think Stu is looking for evidence and not discussion.

Oh sorry i thought he wanted opinion , and i thought my opinion was valid ,otherwise he would have closed it . I will shut up now then . :blush:

[Dawn]

I just want to add that I was driven away from another Disney forum after the moderators there decided to gang up and bully me. I'm not the first one they did it too either. I've not seen any evidence of similar behaviour by anyone here.

Also shutting up now. :erm:

[t1gg3er]

This is all so sad.

I joined the DIBB to talk to people like me - getting all excited about one of the most magical places on Earth.

This kind of behaviour goes against everything that Disney stands for.

[Stu]

But i will say these conspiracy theories are unhelpful and just make people paranoid imho

Again you are correct, which is why I am asking for people to send me proof that this is actually occurring.

At the moment I'm seeing reported posts being reported for no apparent reason other than to have a go at another member, I'm getting PM's saying things are going on, but not revealing the actual usernames, I'm being sent links and screen captures from other sites and it's all just one big blur with no hard details.

From what I have seen already I have my own opinion on this but that is all it is at this time, my OWN opinion.

If sticking up for another member means that you have to make a post that can be considered a personal attack then that type of post isn't helpful and just inflames any situation. We make it as easy as we possibly can to report a post and when you report a post you have the opportunity to comment why it's being reported.

Reporting posts allows us to act as quickly as possible to resolve any issues before they get out of hand and without resulting in threads that end up in arguments and accusations.

All I can do is reiterate my first comments, if bullying is going on then I'm requesting that members forward the information directly to me.

[Hal]

I am saddened to learn of this. Bullying has no place anywhere, let alone on the Dibb. Name and Shame - then Ban.

[purpleprincess]

I am saddened to learn of this. Bullying has no place anywhere, let alone on the Dibb. Name and Shame

Couldnt agree more

[AlexD]

I am saddened to learn of this. Bullying has no place anywhere, let alone on the Dibb. Name and Shame - then Ban.

I say name and shame too. Then these people would go somwhere else to conduct their playground tactics.

[hel1304]

I love this site & it does sadden me that this type of bullying might be going on. I know I got really upset the once about something that had been taken out of context on this site (& somebody shouted at me) & I stopped Dibbing for a while - and then only asked general questions, & very rarely gave my opinion.

Good on you Stu, for trying to sort it out.

[Elsie]

At which point i apologise now to Elsie if it was anything to do with the comments I made (in jest) relating to the Sat Nav thread
Whoa!

No one, least of all you, has posted anything which has caused me a problem. It was just a difference of opinion - we just disagreed, that's all!

:wave:

[marioner]

Oh sorry i thought he wanted opinion , and i thought my opinion was valid ,otherwise he would have closed it . I will shut up now then . :blush:

Oh Carys, you have every right to make your point if you feel strongly about something, you dont have to shut up at all. And I am sure Stu wants other opinions and feedback otherwise it would have been a closed thread.xx

[JAL]

I am saddened to learn of this. Bullying has no place anywhere, let alone on the Dibb. Name and Shame - then Ban.
Totally agree, can't say I've noticed anything in particular, but then I don't read everything, only posts that I think I'll find interesting. Don't really see how we can help with "evidence" etc if we don't know what we're supposed to be looking for.

[Diane]

Its all passed over my head a bit I'm afraid :confused2 but I am shocked and upset to think that an 'organised' campaign against person or persons may be taking place. I thought we were all above that sort of thing on The Dibb :(

Stu, I hope you manage to get to the bottom of the problem and get these bullies dealt with once and for all, this is not an example we want to set when there are impressionable children and young people using the Forum.

Diane x

[loadsapixiedust]

So sad, shocked and a little sickened to read this :(
I hope those involved read it and feel utterly ashamed of themselves.
I also hope members will not be afraid to come forward with the evidence Stu needs to deal with these people.

[Jaydee]

Its awful to think that adults can get a kick out of upsetting/hurting
other people over the internet. There pretty brave doing it from
behind a pc screen don't you think (not) :nonono:

[Lesley_Perschky]

Got to admit I have not noticed anything. Its bad enough being bullied at work. I come onto the DIBB to chat to friends and to escape for a while.

What sad, petty small minded individuals they are.

[wazzimama]

Its awful to think that adults can get a kick out of upsetting/hurting
other people over the internet. There pretty brave doing it from
behind a pc screen don't you think (not) :nonono:

exactly... keyboard warriors we call them... can't say i've noticed anything but if it's being organised elsewhere, sorry i'm only for the dibb so have not seen it

hope it gets sorted soon stu

[I love walmart]

Going back to the original post by Stu, why would people be getting together on a different site? Surely if they were going to discuss their 'bullying plan of action' they could just PM each other on here couldn't they? I don't get it!

[pluto rules]

Its awful to think that adults can get a kick out of upsetting/hurting
other people over the internet. There pretty brave doing it from
behind a pc screen don't you think (not) :nonono:

I totally agree with that,

I only ever use the dibb, so I have not seen these people ganging up to plot there revenge on other disney forums, I cant get my head around as to why they would want to do this. :nonono:
Afterall we are all on here to get tips and ideas to make it easier for our forth coming holidays, Plus the fact that many of us cant help ourselves when it comes to Disney/ Florida :blush: I just find it nice to talk to people that have the same intrests as me.

[stevey]

In the few years I have been Dibbing, I have thought of this as one one the freindliest, most helpful websites I have ever come across, and I sit in front of a screen all day long. I personally have not noticed any bullying and as Stu asks, if I notice anything I will report it straight away. Lets all stick to this and carry on enjoying this great site and not allow other sites to mention the Dibb as a bullying forum.

Steve

[tinko]

In the few years I have been Dibbing, I have thought of this as one one the freindliest, most helpful websites I have ever come across, and I sit in front of a screen all day long. I personally have not noticed any bullying and as Stu asks, if I notice anything I will report it straight away. Lets all stick to this and carry on enjoying this great site and not allow other sites to mention the Dibb as a bullying forum.

Steve

I agree that this is the friendliest disney site out in cyberland. Lets keep it that way :D

[disney dave]

In the few years I have been Dibbing, I have thought of this as one one the freindliest, most helpful websites I have ever come across, and I sit in front of a screen all day long. I personally have not noticed any bullying and as Stu asks, if I notice anything I will report it straight away. Lets all stick to this and carry on enjoying this great site and not allow other sites to mention the Dibb as a bullying forum.

Steve

agree 100%, not noticed anything on any of the threads,
why would people do this,

[shelly]

not been on for a few days so not noticed anything. am saddend that this is happening on a site thats supposed to be about the 'happiest place on earth'.

there is a difference between a heated debate (which most of us have read/wrote on) and bullying. name and shame them.

[zdickens]

Must admit I've not noticed anything and I log on every day. Hope it can be resolved quickly for everyones sake.

[DebbieJRoss]

Have just read all this and am completely shocked, havent noticed anything and have been on all the time, I have been telling my friends how helpful everyone is and how I'm addicted, again all I can say is really really shocked. Dont let a few ruin it for the rest, this isn't what anybody expects in the shared excitement of discussing and planning our holidays. Debbie

[KES]

Going back to the original post by Stu, why would people be getting together on a different site? Surely if they were going to discuss their 'bullying plan of action' they could just PM each other on here couldn't they? I don't get it!

Can I just say that I think I happened to come across the site being referred to by Stu. I came across it via a link that was posted on here about an unrelated subject.

The same people on this site are the same "clique" on here.

I haven't managed to find the site since (don't want to join it - was interested in looking at it again!)

The site was also referred to in a post not so long ago & a poster said that is was for special people!

Will now go and get my tin hat!

[shelly]

also want to say to whoever was being bullied - don't let them stop you posting on here or anywhere else.

[lausan]

we have a case at work at the moment the person has been suspended its awful what it does to people
http://www.thedibb.co.uk/photopost/data/500/NO-BULLYING.gif

[TrueBlueAngel]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear this is happening on the Dibb. This place has been a wealthy source of information and recently, support to me. Shame that there's always 1% of people who want to spoil it for us. I hope you sort it, Stu. Although, quite frankly, you shouldn't have to, cos it shouldn't be happening!

[Sue]

I'm nearly as sad that someone on this thread thinks there is a 'clique' on the Dibb as I am about the idea of people ganging up elsewhere against someone here.
I have been here a while and know some people better than others - join in silly threads and give others a wide berth. I can be very familiar with other Dibbers, hey I've even met some in real life! - I genuinely do not believe that there is such a thing as a clique here though.

There is no site like the Dibb, I have browsed others and even joined some very briefly, but don't go to them anymore and haven't posted on some of them in years.
I do think the written word can be misintepreted and sometimes people jump in without thinking - I know I have been guilty of that myself. I do have to try and remind myself not to get personal in replies and hope I have not done so in this post.

[pepsicube]

What do you mean by "bullying"?
Isn't it supposed to involve intimidating / threatening actions?
If this is happening the individuals concerned should be banned immediately.

Or is it a case of people being deliberately contrary just to "wind" others up?
I've seen a few threads like this - the age old reclining seats and crown currency debates always seem to get a bit heated as did the "What annoys you most in the parks?" thread.

[Deb1968]

With regard to the alleged cyber bullies "meeting" up on another site in order to discuss who their next target will be, I hope whoever these people are, they are thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Whilst they may have thought it a game, obviously, the fact that it has been brought to Stu's attention surely makes it clear to them that their behaviour is reprehensible and intolerable. It would appear that, like animals, they have taken on a pack mentality. I agree that if and when the culprits are discovered, they should be banned from the site.

Debs

[rusty30]

Im on here a lot. An awful lot. I cant say Ive noticed anything other than the usual banter and the odd disagreement. Neither have I noticed any evidence of a "clique". I dont think I could name ANY members that seem to start threads for "exclusive" use for themselves and their chosen few - which is VERY rare on a message board, especially one as busy as this.

I dont see any evidence of cliquiness here at all. I know maybe a handful of DIBBers that are very popular, and their threads are always busy - but never in a nasty or confrontational manner.

I can think of only ONE instance in the last 6 months were I thought a few people were being a little harsh on another member (although I cant say that person was entirely blameless in the situation). If Stu would like details I'll pass it on but I think thats probaby old news now.

Im saddened to hear that there MIGHT be a problem. Ive only had one bad experience in my nearly 4 years of DIBBing (and that was from a person who was not a regular) - this is one of the friendliest places on the net and long may it continue. If anyone has seriously been causing trouble, then a ban should be in order.

What a shame :( .

[brody-maddison]

I can only echo what others have said and that is I'm deeply saddened that someone has been bullied on here.

I haven't noticed anything to be honest and this has shocked me. The Dibb as I know it, is a happy, easy going place where we are all friends through our common interest and love of Disney.

I know there are heated debates sometimes but they are controlled by the mods before getting too out of hand.

I hope those responsible feel ashamed and know that it will not be tolerated. Bullying is my pet hate so I hope Stu names and shames the offenders and puts a ban on them.... Zero Tolerance is the only way to stop such nasty behaviour.

:pdfor whoever has been bullied {{{hugs}}} .... please don't leave the Dibb, the majority of us are genuinely, nice people.

[ameliaUK]

As a mum of 3 I have come across bullying once or twice in the last few years (unfortunatly)
To be honest ,I did read a thread recently where there seemed to be an element of ganging up going on and thought a few members were being a bit harsh.
Am very dissapointed to think that bullying may be happening on the Dibb,Cyber bullying especially is low and cowardly .
The Dibb is a real happy place for me ,I am not a regular poster as such and have always been made to feel welcome ,am sad to hear others do not feel the same

[Toffeeman]

Hey Stu, Hope you get the Idiots who have been acting so childishly, I've not come across it myself but think it is disgusting! These people need to get a life and grow up! We love the Dibb and it would be a shame if it ends up as a school yard!! Bullys...go away!!! This site is to discuss the magic of disney. Mickey would not aprove!

[envoguemia]

I havent noticed anything unusual either to be honest. I did read a thread on Wednesday (i think) where I felt some of the comments were over the top and IMO offensice but there were equal comments agreeing with the OP. I also noticed that the offending comments were removed by the mods quite quickly and they do seem to be very efficient at preventing things getting unpleasant.

Whats really offensive, if not childish, is the thought that people would meet with the specific intent to offend another person.

[JudyC]

I've only experienced fellow dibbers being friendly and helpful towards me, but have noticed some rather judgemental posts aimed at other members. I can think of one recently that seemed unduely harsh.

I'm too busy to visit other sites besides the Dibb, but get the feeling that some members socialise on other sites as well. Some might feel this is cliquey, but each to there own......so long as they don't gang up on other people.

[School_Bully]

I hope that it's not me that you are all talking about!!! :angel:

I have never noticed any bullying on this site, in fact at times, it seems a bit too nice :pgig:

[grottyrotty]

I musn't be dibbing enough!

I haven't noticed anything amiss. Only debates becoming heated, but then a difference of opinion always has the potential for that.

I've certainly not noticed any group bullying against one individual in the threads.

Deb :tinkani:

[Jakey rowling]

As a newcomer I can't say I've noticed any cliques as such.
People who maybe know each other, or got to trust someone's opinion more than others through experience, but that's to be expected.
However I've never seen any signs of exclusion or rejection.

Hope if it is a real problem then it's sorted ASAP.

[alim]

I agree with everyone else here this is such a friendly site and whenever anyone has any problems or issues they can be sure that someone will leave them up and cheer them up. I havent noticed anything. Lots of people have differing opinions about things but that is life. You dont need to be hurtful to people tho. We hear enough about kids in school being childish without Adults here being childish and bullying.

[mousemad]

I am saddened to learn of this. Bullying has no place anywhere, let alone on the Dibb. Name and Shame - then Ban.

And i thought we were all such a happy bunch, with one thing in common - Disney. I have read some threads that have been a bit 'negative' shall we say, but feel i wont add fuel to the fire and whne it nakes me feel uncomfortable, i stop reading that particular thread. Its such a shame as i for one, feel this is a great board and the mods do a fantastic job and as the saying goes "if you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all"!!

[Cinders Mum]

Having had to deal with our own issues with school bullying and ongoing issues with Teri, I've not been on as much, so think I have been totally oblivious to this but, I guess I could be accused of being a bit cliquey in the past (unintentionally I can promise you) and you get carried away sometimes having a laugh with people who have become friends over the years.

I have observed the usual conflicts of personality but to be honest, when there have been spats both sides have given as good as they got, and neither could be perceived as being a victim, but these are very much in the minority of threads on a daily basis.

As for naming and shaming, I don't know about that, what purpose would that serve to enable the DIBB community to move on from this, I am not saying that IF there has been bullying being committed on the boards, that those responsible should not be held accountable, but to hang the dirty laundry out is a bit distasteful to me.

Just my thoughts on this.

[Petalsoftly]

The site was also referred to in a post not so long ago & a poster said that is was for special people!

OMG! That was ME who said that!!!!!!!!!! That was meant as a JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I belong to several forums not just this one...... I had no idea it would be taken literally.
Just read back through all my posts here. And can't see any bullying going on. If I have summat to say I say it outright there and then and it's dealt with.
I have bumped up the *offending* thread and post.. it is on page 29 where I made the comment on Bens Disney in December Live trip report 2007.

Now I feel like Kes is accusing me of doing the bullying... well you're ALL quite welcome to read through all my posts on here and make your own minds up about that.

[Dawn]

Oh petal you're not a bully.

Bullying is the persistant harrassment of an individual. That hasn't happened here - full stop. Sure we all disagree from time to time and yes we have a pop at each other on ocassion. But persistant harrassment?? Not on this site. I belong to several forums too and have never seen anything resembling bullying or planning to, anywhere.

And I'm up too early and starting to waffle. :erm:

[ceri]

I haven't been on the Dibb as much as usual lately due to sorting out an elderly relative so much of this may well have escaped my notice. However, I can't say that I have noticed anything particularly unusual recently. Yes there are the usual disagreements, and the usual banter between people who have become friendly over the years. I am expecting the annual "silly season" (this seems to happen every year when people get heated and fall out with other) to come upon us soon as well lol. But I can't say that I have noticed anything else. However if this is happening then I am truely saddened as, as others have said the Dibb really has always been one of the friendliest communities around. {{{{{Hugs }}}} for the victim (s) in this and If the perpetrators can be identified then I'm all for an immediate bann on their membership. Just my two pennyworth for what its worth.
Ceri x

[BarryandCaron]

OMG! That was ME who said that!!!!!!!!!! That was meant as a JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I belong to several forums not just this one...... I had no idea it would be taken literally.
Just read back through all my posts here. And can't see any bullying going on. If I have summat to say I say it outright there and then and it's dealt with.
I have bumped up the *offending* thread and post.. it is on page 29 where I made the comment on Bens Disney in December Live trip report 2007.

Now I feel like Kes is accusing me of doing the bullying... well you're ALL quite welcome to read through all my posts on here and make your own minds up about that.

Helen, no one could ever accuse you of being a bully I'm certain, you are such a sweetie and a very down to earth person.

I like to read most of threads on the Dibb and can usually spot a thread that's going to get locked because posters go too far and I keep away from them. I'm sure some OPs start a thread for a reaction and others just don't like opinions different from their own.

I love the Dibb and have made many friends on here, meeting some as well. At the end of the day we all love Disney.

Caron

[Sean_and_Sue]

I've read through this thread, and most Dibbers seem to have the same response that I had to Stu's initial post - shock and disgust, then wondering "Hang on - where and when has this bullying taken place?". I'm on here daily, read a lot of the threads and I can honestly say that I haven't seen any bullying - what I have seen is occasional, provocative posts where there has been a perhaps understandable response from others, and in those instances, once or twice I have seen accusations of 'ganging up':( I personally haven't seen it as that - I've seen it as someone wanting to get a reaction by posting something inflammatory, then complaining when they get a result................and to be fair, those sorts of threads don't happen often, or last long, because the mods tend to deal with them pretty quickly!

Same goes for cliques - folk who have been around quite a while of course get to know some better than others, of course friendships spring up - but I have NEVER seen anyone actually, or even attempting to exclude other members from discussions or banter. When there were a huge number of joking threads going on about the X Factor, with quite a few of us - self included - getting into the habit of having a regular 'joke' thread on a Saturday night, a couple of people posted saying they felt that it was 'cliquey' - immediate apologies from all on the thread and assurances given that no way was that the intention - no bullying, no exclusion, no clique.

It seems to me - from reading the replies - that a few of us have seen angry/annoyed responses to 'certain' posts, but that no one has seen any bullying - If there has been, it really does need dealing with - but I am also wondering why any 'victim' has not provided Stu with the facts and proof and given him and the mods a chance to deal with it. Maybe I'm reading this wrong -and apologies if I am - but the impression I've got is that Stu has been given 'hints' and 'rumours' and then left to sort it out :confused2 I've tried several times to word this in a way that doesn't sound awful, and don't think I've managed it yet - but is it possible that the sort of person who likes to make 'provocative' posts and wind people up, has found yet another way to do a bit of stirring?

Love Suexx

[BarryandCaron]

I've read through this thread, and most Dibbers seem to have the same response that I had to Stu's initial post - shock and disgust, then wondering "Hang on - where and when has this bullying taken place?". I'm on here daily, read a lot of the threads and I can honestly say that I haven't seen any bullying - what I have seen is occasional, provocative posts where there has been a perhaps understandable response from others, and in those instances, once or twice I have seen accusations of 'ganging up':( I personally haven't seen it as that - I've seen it as someone wanting to get a reaction by posting something inflammatory, then complaining when they get a result................and to be fair, those sorts of threads don't happen often, or last long, because the mods tend to deal with them pretty quickly!

Same goes for cliques - folk who have been around quite a while of course get to know some better than others, of course friendships spring up - but I have NEVER seen anyone actually, or even attempting to exclude other members from discussions or banter. When there were a huge number of joking threads going on about the X Factor, with quite a few of us - self included - getting into the habit of having a regular 'joke' thread on a Saturday night, a couple of people posted saying they felt that it was 'cliquey' - immediate apologies from all on the thread and assurances given that no way was that the intention - no bullying, no exclusion, no clique.

It seems to me - from reading the replies - that a few of us have seen angry/annoyed responses to 'certain' posts, but that no one has seen any bullying - If there has been, it really does need dealing with - but I am also wondering why any 'victim' has not provided Stu with the facts and proof and given him and the mods a chance to deal with it. Maybe I'm reading this wrong -and apologies if I am - but the impression I've got is that Stu has been given 'hints' and 'rumours' and then left to sort it out :confused2 I've tried several times to word this in a way that doesn't sound awful, and don't think I've managed it yet - but is it possible that the sort of person who likes to make 'provocative' posts and wind people up, has found yet another way to do a bit of stirring?

Love Suexx

Well put Sue and my thoughts exactly but I couldn't think of an appropriate way to word my response like you.

Caron

[I love walmart]

OMG! That was ME who said that!!!!!!!!!! That was meant as a JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I belong to several forums not just this one...... I had no idea it would be taken literally.
Just read back through all my posts here. And can't see any bullying going on. If I have summat to say I say it outright there and then and it's dealt with.
I have bumped up the *offending* thread and post.. it is on page 29 where I made the comment on Bens Disney in December Live trip report 2007.

Now I feel like Kes is accusing me of doing the bullying... well you're ALL quite welcome to read through all my posts on here and make your own minds up about that.

Oh no Petalsoftly, I really don't think Kes was accusing you of bullying!! And I'm sure noone who read that comment would think you were. The way I saw it was Kes was trying to give a hint as to what the other site might be. It was said in reply to a comment I made about being confused as to why people would get together on another site with the intention of bullying on this one. I wasn't trying to get the name of the othere site I was just saying that doesn't sound right to me. Surely the "bullys" could PM each other here to talk to each other. Something smells fishy and it ain't the "what are you having for dinner thread" !!!!!!

[Rebelrebel]

... Surely the "bullys" could PM each other here to talk to each other...

Exactly or use MSN. I am a member of 4 other forums and have not seen anything of the like.


Sue you have summed up my thoughts exactly.

[Petalsoftly]

I HAVE made a conscious effort since Tess passed away to not cause any trouble here for Stu's sake... and have when got annoyed deleted my posts as an afterthought. Just figured he didn't need this sh*t. I don't go out of my way to cause trouble I just have that kind of personality where I say it as I see it.... but like I said... I've really made an effort to engage my brain before I engage me gob ;)

[disney dave]

I've read through this thread, and most Dibbers seem to have the same response that I had to Stu's initial post - shock and disgust, then wondering "Hang on - where and when has this bullying taken place?". I'm on here daily, read a lot of the threads and I can honestly say that I haven't seen any bullying - what I have seen is occasional, provocative posts where there has been a perhaps understandable response from others, and in those instances, once or twice I have seen accusations of 'ganging up':( I personally haven't seen it as that - I've seen it as someone wanting to get a reaction by posting something inflammatory, then complaining when they get a result................and to be fair, those sorts of threads don't happen often, or last long, because the mods tend to deal with them pretty quickly!

Same goes for cliques - folk who have been around quite a while of course get to know some better than others, of course friendships spring up - but I have NEVER seen anyone actually, or even attempting to exclude other members from discussions or banter. When there were a huge number of joking threads going on about the X Factor, with quite a few of us - self included - getting into the habit of having a regular 'joke' thread on a Saturday night, a couple of people posted saying they felt that it was 'cliquey' - immediate apologies from all on the thread and assurances given that no way was that the intention - no bullying, no exclusion, no clique.

It seems to me - from reading the replies - that a few of us have seen angry/annoyed responses to 'certain' posts, but that no one has seen any bullying - If there has been, it really does need dealing with - but I am also wondering why any 'victim' has not provided Stu with the facts and proof and given him and the mods a chance to deal with it. Maybe I'm reading this wrong -and apologies if I am - but the impression I've got is that Stu has been given 'hints' and 'rumours' and then left to sort it out :confused2 I've tried several times to word this in a way that doesn't sound awful, and don't think I've managed it yet - but is it possible that the sort of person who likes to make 'provocative' posts and wind people up, has found yet another way to do a bit of stirring?

Love Suexx

well said sue. i've been trying to remember any bullying threads, but cannot anything that even looked like bullying, seen a few different opinions on threads, but not spotted any groups of people having a go at anyone. saw a couple of posts on a thread that i felt could have been aimed at me, but it wasn't what i would consider bullying. and like i say it "could" have been aimed at me , but it could have meant someone else, so i just ignored it .
maybe as said, if its not the person who is being bullied who's reported it, perhaps it is someone doing it for a wind up.

dave

[Gill66]

I hope this can be cleared up because any form of bullying is not acceptable!!!
The only way I can see to solve the problem is that the person or person's who have been upset and hurt by certain post's to contact Stu and name the people who have made these post's, then he can look into it and see if indeed they were being offensive/hurtfull, or any bullying was going on.
Everyone has different opinions and sense of humours and sometimes this can lead to heated debates and misunderstandings, I hope that whoever is involved didn't deliberatly set out to upset anyone. This is a friendly site and I for one enjoy coming on here and talking to all of you and trying to give honest opinions and advice when ever it's needed.

Gill x

[lausan]

well said sue. i've been trying to remember any bullying threads, but cannot anything that even looked like bullying, seen a few different opinions on threads, but not spotted any groups of people having a go at anyone. saw a couple of posts on a thread that i felt could have been aimed at me, but it wasn't what i would consider bullying. and like i say it "could" have been aimed at me , but it could have meant someone else, so i just ignored it .
maybe as said, if its not the person who is being bullied who's reported it, perhaps it is someone doing it for a wind up.

dave

Cant imagine anyone wanting to bully you as you are so kind to us all here on the Dibb you wish us a Good morning and give us a laugh.
you and Lesley have a good weekend

[Petalsoftly]

I am flummoxed by Dave's post as well?????????????

[lesley1960]

Bullying is rife on the net , even on the dibb. There will always be differences of opinion thats only to be expected , not everyone shares each others views and reasoned debate is healthy , however the bullying occurs when the same people attack one person , no matter what they post .Its fairly easy to see a pattern tbh and i have noticed a certain member being jumped on no matter what or where they post.
There is a lot that goes on not in plain view of everyone

[Stu]

Guy's when I first posted this I was going to post it as a closed thread but then I thought it was something that should be discussed if nothing else but to raise awareness and act as a reminder that bullying would not be accepted here on the DIBB.

I can see that some of you have mis-interpreted my initial post, so I'll try and explain it here then I'll close this thread to avoid further confusion.

I'm not totally convinced that bullying has taken place, however I do know that discussions about a couple of DIBB members were made on another forum website and this discussion wasn't exactly in a positive light. Now this in itself isn't a problem, what people do or talk about on other sites is up to them. We did however have a spate of posts being made here on the dibb that could possibly be attributed to the discussions on other sites.

Some members saw this as a concerted effort to bully other members and quite correctly reported it to us, after several such reports and looking back through the moderator logs to see what posts were edited or removed there is strong support that at least two members have been targeted by another very small group of members.

The difficulty is determining if it is bullying or just friends sticking up for one another.

Normally this type of action would show itself quite clearly in a thread that was quickly going downhill and having argumentative posts within it. Due to the fact that we do not allow personal comments aimed at other members and such posts are removed as quickly as we become aware of them most members do not see the comments that were made.

When you combine knowledge of the removed comments, reported posts, then you look back at the posts that have been edited or deleted things from our perspective take on a different light than what can be seen from just the public posts.

If nothing else I really hope this thread has highlighted one of the reasons why we try and stamp out comments that could be considered personal.

one person making a personal comment can anger a group of users, if that group of users then retaliate that is one matter but if they sustain their retaliation at every opportunity then that would be considered bullying .