Asperger's Syndrome

[batleyboy26]

My sister is a little bit upset as my nephew's teacher has called her in to talk about his behaviour. The teacher (nephew is Y1, aged 6) seems to think that he may have Asperger's. She does not want to label him just yet and will be observing him in the class together with the SENCO and Deputy Head over the next 6 weeks but wanted to ask my sis a few questions of what nephew is like at home.

Can anyboyd give us some ideas of 'symptoms' of Aspergers as I know that a few of you on here have children with the condition.

Thanks in advance.

[bookswin]

Hi. You can Google for tons of information on this. There are some excellent books on the topic by a fellow named Tony Attwood. Our son is somewhere on the spectrum, so I've learned a lot about it.

All children are different, but many Asperger's patients, if you want to put a shorthand on it, exhibit behavior similar to the classic "science/computer nerd." Quiet, interested in reading and study, solitary, socially awkward, often with INTENSE interest in a narrow field, like sports statistics or a specific kind of science fiction, or a certain type of car, or washing machines, chess, could be anything.

These children can become world-experts in something by their mid-teens by dint of their powers of study.

Often these kids are extremely smart. They typically are straightforward and not devious and have a hard time understanding lying and underhanded behavior. Teen years can be very difficult for them as they don't pick up social clues well.

If the child learned to read at 2, almost without being taught, and is speech-delayed, a lesser-known syndrome called "hyperlexia" may be at work; this seems to be our son's condition.

By the way, don't necessarily trust what "experts" tell you; many of them have NO IDEA what is involved with these kids. Parents' intuition is very important.

There are many ways to help children like this. Good luck.

[whambar]

I would get your sister to visit the national autistic trust website as it has plenty of information on there not just for parents but also siblings as it can be hard going at times(maybe for future reference). As a parent she can go to her GP and ask for a referral to a paediatrician as she is likely to need a diagnosis for this if the teachers suspicians are correct, which is better to get now than later when help is not so easily available, also tell her she is not alone and not to worry children with aspergers syndrome are hard work but worth it - just like many other special needs children.

[TinkTatoo]

ASD has so many facets that it's impossible to provide a list of "symptoms" I have a DS with autism and a DD with aspergers and while they share the same traits they deal with them and display them in completely different ways. To diagnose ASD a psychologist looks for the Triad of Impairments

There are three main features, which when combined together, are what define whether or not an individual has autism. These are:

* difficulties in relating to, or understanding other people and social situations
* difficulties in acquiring any form of communication,
* a lack of imaginative ability, often substituted by obsessive, repetitive behaviour and a strong resistance to change.

For Asperger Syndrome, people who show the same characteristics of autism to a greater or lesser extent, but are of average or above average intelligence and seem, on the surface at least, to have good communication skills.

I can understand you sister being upset but at the end of the day please ask her to be open and up front about her DS. If it is Aspegers then he would receive much better help and support with a "label" than having to cope on his own.

[jain]

hi there i have a son who is now 10 who has aspergers,everyone is right about how smart they are my son just achieved level 5,s in his sats in year 5,his maths and science are brilliant but his english is poor,he speaks very well but cant spell,he tends to say things has he see,s them(including telling my mother-in-law she would be pretty if she shaved her moustach off!!)
we cant take him into a supermarket or the smells and sounds cause him to overload,specialist say they are normally loners,but my son has a small group of friends he has had all the way through school,he dosent understand facial expressions and dose,nt have empathy for anyone....so dont go looking for a shoulder to cry on!!
he also NEVER tells lies,which i think is a very nice thing,he only really talks about what he wants to talk about which is always wrestling!!he can memories wrestling facts from years ago!
tell your sister not to worry,my son is a wounderful little boy who has very high ambitions about what he wants,he is independant,and can be very funny although he dos,nt understand jokes(he is trying to learn how to tell a joke)i could go on all day telling you how great my son is,but you will all find out yourselves ...he wants to be prime minister!

[whambar]

Its interesting that some aspergers children are bright and some are not so bright, my ds can read and spell alot better than most 16 yr olds and his maths is not too bad, yet he has an infantile behaviour at times (likes to play with a till or toys meant for a child alot younger than himself). I think that it is the varying degrees of autism that makes a diagnosis difficult whilst they are young as my ds was not diagnosed until he was 8yrs old.

[jain]

i,m sorry...i did,nt mean all aspergers children were above average inteligence,i only have experience of my son,he also was only diagnosed 18 mths ago,my son can play for hours with his 4 yr old sister playing house and role play....but dos,nt like to play football,he is a whizz at computers,i think that all children are diffrent and although books and specialists can tell you typical symptoms not all may fit...making a diagnoses even harder it took us 3 yrs to get our diagnoses.

[whambar]

no need to be sorry - its only a general observation that I was making as I am quite fascinated by the varying degrees of autism and how it can affect each child so differently, it wasnt a personal attack or anything, I think all parents of special needs kids need a medal as they cope so well and even offer advice and support to other parents which makes living with a child who has these needs a little easier.

[mazz]

My sister is a little bit upset as my nephew's teacher has called her in to talk about his behaviour. The teacher (nephew is Y1, aged 6) seems to think that he may have Asperger's. She does not want to label him just yet and will be observing him in the class together with the SENCO and Deputy Head over the next 6 weeks but wanted to ask my sis a few questions of what nephew is like at home.

Can anyboyd give us some ideas of 'symptoms' of Aspergers as I know that a few of you on here have children with the condition.

Thanks in advance.

if i was your sis i would be furious, there is no way a senco, class teacher or deputy head should even be offering a suggestion that your nephew has Aspergers :angry:

this is a job for a child psychologist and childrens mental health specialists, it can takes months of professional observation before diagnosis and i can only assume they have your sister very very worried

i would suggest your sister asks the school to put those concerns about your nephews behaviour in writing so your sister can discuss with the childs GP

i can also recommend a free book that you can order from the website below, it's a early support pack for parents and there is one available for ASD

http://www.earlysupport.org.uk/modResourcesLibrary/HtmlRenderer/Forfamilies.html

sending hugs pls tell your sister not too worry, if there is some concerns it is good that the school are observing but they have no right at all in suggesting a possible diagnosis, they should be bringing a Ed Psyc in for observation? may be worth her asking if that is the case

[batleyboy26]

Thanks for that. I work in a primary school office myself and had a word with our SENCO today and she said more or less the same thing. She is also the Y1 teacher and commented that there is no way she would mention the 'A' word to a parent without a lot of observation and discussions and that she thinks the teacher at my nephews school is completely in the wrong.

Yes, my sister is very upset but my SENCO has given me a 'Parents Guide' for my sister to look at and we are going through lots of websites together.

Thanks for all the info - we will be looking at it all.

[patm]

[QUOTE=whambar;2088716]no need to be sorry - its only a general observation that I was making as I am quite fascinated by the varying degrees of autism and how it can affect each child so diffeently"

You are so right! Althought our DD was diagnosis with aspergers sydrome, there are some aspects of it that she fits and others that she doesn't. And your sister needs to remember that it doesn't change her child, but that there maybe some aspect of life that will need a bit more explaining.
Pat

[Happy Mickey]

Hi every1 if u need any info about Aspergers I can help as i got diagnosed with it when i was 13 so ask away

[landkmum]

We were lucky, my son got his diagnosis when he was 4 years old, thanks to his fantastic nursery who said that he needed a developmental assessment.

As has been previously said, it really is quite amazing how different two people with the same diagnosis can be. My son is high functioning and manages really well in school - unless an imagination is required. As well as this, his behaviour in school is impeccable. However, this is very different at home. He refuses to do any homework (and really bizarrely, often genuinely cannot remember how to do things) and we have terrible times with his behaviour. His frustration is taken out on our DD and has had such an affect on her that she often sees a counsellor.

DS's interests are much younger than his years - he is completely obsessed with disney's cars, which does become difficult at xmas/birthday times when his peerage express an interest in his presents. Up until now, his peers have been really good at accepting him for who he is and trying to include him but just recently it has become more apparent that they are rapidly leaving him behind - that is difficult to accept.

One thing we have always said is that Asperger's makes him who he is, and to deny that would be to deny him. Reading back through my post, it appears full of negativity - which I do not mean. My son has many, many wonderful traits which we are very proud of - he has recently passed his 11+ with ease and also been awarded the chief scout's commendation - but like other children there are aspects which make life difficult.

In many ways, diagnosis actually makes life easier because with the 'label' certain things are suddenly more acceptable and inappropriatenesses are forgivable.

[ali-s]

Sonia, just had to say how much of your post struck a chord with me ! DS11 has interests so much younger than his years, right now he's playing with his robot wars toys - he's had them for about 7 years and are still a bit of an obsession. His 9yr old brother seems so much older than him - it's hard to remember he's the youngest, he's the one I expect to be reliable , sensible etc, DS11 is also well behaved at school , he started high school last year and though his teachers are pretty good on the whole and I'm amazed at the way he's settled in, his english teacher is really beginning to bug me, she's set a piece of homework that involves imagination and to some extent empathy, and of course DS is really struggling with it, he's had to re do it a couple of times and it makes me mad that he's having to spend so much longer on it than the other kids, but on the other hand I suppose it shows the curriculum isn't being bent for him, and everyone is so pleased with him when he finally gets it right. Like you, I couldn't imagine him any other way, his aspergers makes him who he is.

[landkmum]

Sonia, just had to say how much of your post struck a chord with me ! DS11 has interests so much younger than his years, right now he's playing with his robot wars toys - he's had them for about 7 years and are still a bit of an obsession. His 9yr old brother seems so much older than him - it's hard to remember he's the youngest, he's the one I expect to be reliable , sensible etc, DS11 is also well behaved at school , he started high school last year and though his teachers are pretty good on the whole and I'm amazed at the way he's settled in, his english teacher is really beginning to bug me, she's set a piece of homework that involves imagination and to some extent empathy, and of course DS is really struggling with it, he's had to re do it a couple of times and it makes me mad that he's having to spend so much longer on it than the other kids, but on the other hand I suppose it shows the curriculum isn't being bent for him, and everyone is so pleased with him when he finally gets it right. Like you, I couldn't imagine him any other way, his aspergers makes him who he is.

It's funny how you say that you expect your youngest to be more like the oldest - that is exactly the same as us and it often makes me feel guilty just how much pressure I pile on to her. I dread her getting older because I can honestly see her running for the hills without ever looking back.

I have to say, having DD also makes the difficulties that DS faces more apparent. She is everything that he isn't and, while it is wonderful having two completely different children, it also makes it hard to see what he is missing out on.

We are lucky with DS's school at the moment. They have backed us with the problem we have with homework and, for the time being, have told us to forget about it. Whilst this isn't a long-term solution, it has made life a bit more bearable in the interim. I'm not too sure what we are going to face from September when DS starts secondary school. He is going to our local boy's grammar which has high expectations of all of it's pupils but because of it's size, routines and regimes was the only mainstream school that was an option for him.

[GeriO]

I am a primary school teacher also and can't believe that teacher had this conversation with a parent without referral and diagnosis. As a parent too this would be a nightmare. We had a learning support teacher once who told several parents that she thought their children were dyslexic without any diagnosis or even testing and was severely reprimanded. How irresponsible :mad2:

[readysetgo]

I am also in yorkshire my 12 year old daughter was diagnosed age 7yrs, you are very lucky that the teacher is helping parents struggle to get help.
you can email me on mybigoccasion@aol.com

good luck

[Flo]

I am also in yorkshire my 12 year old daughter was diagnosed age 7yrs, you are very lucky that the teacher is helping parents struggle to get help.
you can email me on mybigoccasion@aol.com

good luck

Thank you for the positive post for teachers.

[chowes]

I just wanted to add my experience.

Charlie was only diagnosed last November, he is 8. We are still comming to terms with all that this means and now in the process of trying to get him a statement (which I did not realise you don't get automatic help with a diagonsis) Also, one thing to note is that Charlie does not have above average intelligence - he also has Dyspraxia so this may be where his problems also are.

We were told (off the record) by a lady at Charlie's pre-school that she thought he had autistic traits, at the time I was very cross and upset, however, she was right and was able to pick up on things that alot of professionals were not able to. I would go with it and see what happens - the teachers are with the children each and every day and I am sure she is only trying to help.

Good Luck x

[TinkTatoo]

......We were told (off the record) by a lady at Charlie's pre-school that she thought he had autistic traits, at the time I was very cross and upset, however, she was right and was able to pick up on things that alot of professionals were not able to.....

This often happens and your reaction is typical. No one wants to think their child could have autism or another disability and many parents react negatively, often ignoring unusual behaviour or just putting it down to a stage the kids are going through.

I know it's difficult but I'm glad you were able to identify what was going on with your DS so that he can hopefully get the help he needs.

[batleyboy26]

The school seem to be backtracking with my sister now and have said that they do not think that he has Asperger's symptoms, he is just a very stubborn little boy! So they put my sister through all that upset and have backtracked. They have said that they are keeping an eye on him to be certain.

[weeblip]

I think that sometimes the school can't win either way, if they suggest they think a child could have a particular differculty...they face backlash, and on the other hand like in our case...noone wanted to accept that DS could have a particular differculty.

Myself and hubby always thought that there was something not quiet right with DS's behaviour. When we voiced our opinion to SENCO she basically just kept putting in place certain stratergys to try and help. It was myself and hubby that pushed for referrals....low and behold DS was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers.

I think I would prefer that if a teacher suspected something was wrong with my child...I'd like to know!!!

[Ang & Co]

if i was your sis i would be furious, there is no way a senco, class teacher or deputy head should even be offering a suggestion that your nephew has Aspergers :angry:

this is a job for a child psychologist and childrens mental health specialists, it can takes months of professional observation before diagnosis and i can only assume they have your sister very very worried

i would suggest your sister asks the school to put those concerns about your nephews behaviour in writing so your sister can discuss with the childs GP

i can also recommend a free book that you can order from the website below, it's a early support pack for parents and there is one available for ASD


sending hugs pls tell your sister not too worry, if there is some concerns it is good that the school are observing but they have no right at all in suggesting a possible diagnosis, they should be bringing a Ed Psyc in for observation? may be worth her asking if that is the case

I absolutely agree! I'm SENCO and there is NO way teachers should be "diagnosing". An appropriate referral to specialist services is needed and many profesionals with experience and knowledge will access your child.

Please try not to worry, I'd see the GP for referral.

[Elbee]

My sister is a little bit upset as my nephew's teacher has called her in to talk about his behaviour. The teacher (nephew is Y1, aged 6) seems to think that he may have Asperger's. She does not want to label him just yet and will be observing him in the class together with the SENCO and Deputy Head over the next 6 weeks but wanted to ask my sis a few questions of what nephew is like at home.

Can anyboyd give us some ideas of 'symptoms' of Aspergers as I know that a few of you on here have children with the condition.

Thanks in advance.

This is more or less what happened to me and my son who is 8. It is very upsetting, but in my case, I sort of knew there was something not right and he probably has autism. The teacher said that they were not trying to label him, but if he is diagnosed, he will get the extra support that he needs in school, which has to be good. Tell her she is not alone, as you can see from the thread
x

[whambar]

The school seem to be backtracking with my sister now and have said that they do not think that he has Asperger's symptoms, he is just a very stubborn little boy! So they put my sister through all that upset and have backtracked. They have said that they are keeping an eye on him to be certain.

not to worry your sister, but more often than not(not blaming teachers as they go by government policies) but even if a child has a problem sometimes the schools play it down as special needs children with statements are very expensive to educate, now It is rare that I go into lots of specific details but I know of at least 3 Junior schools who have a pupil who is diagnosed with a specific special need/learning need and they have not been given an IEP until they have reached year 5 as the school try to tell the parents to wait until after year 6 SAT results to see where they go from there. My friends son then went into yr7 secondary school where after 4 weeks of him being there my friend had a phone call to say that they were calling a meeting as her son needed statementing at age 11yrs (he has ADHD, with learning problems), the LEA statemented him but he is now waiting for a placement in a special needs school as he isnt achieving level 1 SATs - all along the Junior school knew this but did nothing, not all schools are like this but if I were your sister I would get a referral from her GP for her son to attend an appointment with a paediatrician at least it would put her mind at rest.

[spenners]

My daughter was diagnosed with autism in 2001, she is now 14. We knew something was "not right". It was her school who told us they thought she might have autism and they set the wheels in motion for us to get her assessed and diagnosed. My DD had been under a specialist at our local hospital from the age of 3 and he basically told me she was mentally retarded and basically left us to cope.

I thank my lucky stars that the school helped and supported us in getting a proper diagnosis of her condition because until you do get a "label" you have no where to go.

I find myself "diagnosing" people who show similar triats to my DD. It's difficult and I keep my mouth shut as I don't want to cause upset but I thank God the school said something to me.