Dyspraxic/Dyslexic - and homework

[Sean_and_Sue]

Had an absolutely horrendous day today:(

DS Ben, 10 has to do a project on WW2 for homework - he needs at least 5 separate sections, each around 3 or 4 pages long. He can use pics downloaded from the net, but everything else needs to be in his own words - and wait for it - in Welsh:cry: Bens concentration is poor, ditto his ability to write for an extended period and he is so daunted by the size of this task, that he has already almost given up - It took him 45 mins today to write out - in his own words - a brief paragraph to introduce just one of the topics he has selected. He is obsessed with doing a good job, and though he was crying with frustration at one point, he refused to take more than a few minutes break at a time, and worked on it for around 5 hours in total - and that produced a 1 page 'time-line', and 2 pages of introductory paragraphs:( He really is trying hard, and he does know what he wants to say - but physically, the task of writing so much is beyond him. Typing is nearly as slow as writing, even if thats allowed (I don't know yet if it is).

I know there are a few parents here with dyspraxic/dyslexic kids - please have any of you got any tips for helping him complete a project like this - suggestions that I could make to his teachers, perhaps - I dont know if Ben (or I) could cope with another day like today - it breaks my heart to see him struggle like this, to see how frustrated he gets and then to try and gee him on when he is crying that he is "stupid" and can't do it. It ended up today with him hyped out of his skin cos he is so stressed (and I know he will lose sleep tonight, worrying about it, and that will cause more problems for him, especially in school), his big sister, who really knocked herself out to help him, getting frustrated too and yelling at him, and me with a banging headache, very short tempered and shouting at the youngest DD, cos she played up at the lack of attention she got today:cry:

Sorry this is such a long post, but I can't tell you how much this has upset me - and ressurected my fears about how on earth he is going to cope with secondary school. Any advice very gratefully received:(

Love Suexx

[JudyC]

Oh dear, I'm afraid I can't offer a lot of advice, only say I hope things improve.
My oldest son who's almost 19 did have a mild learning disablity at school and still struggles to be honest:( He's re siting a couple of GCSE's this year, and hoping to get an apprenticeship. Sometimes life seems unfair, but as parents we just have to do the best we can. (((((((hugs)))))))

[carys]

Sorry to hear about your day Sue. I felt awful reading about your DS struggling like that. My middle DS struggles although not with these partcular issues (dyslexia,dyspraxia) and it is heartbreaking as a mum to hear him say he is stupid.In all honesty it makes me so angry that his teacher would not have forseen these difficulties and made allowances for them eg more time etc.Children thrive well with positive reinforcement and confidence building i am not sure setting goals like this for him was fair.I would speak to his teacher and explain your concerns so he /she can reassure him and rebuild his confidence. He sounds like a great lad trying so hard like that you must be very proud of him.Good luck.

[saonaqueen]

Don't know really what to suggest Sue but {{{{{hugs}}}}} anyway - do the school not make allowances for homework? I know we are only Infants but we send different stuff according to ability to cope with tasks in hand - not that it helps you much :(

One thing I always tell my parents, when they need help with their child, is this:

How do you eat an elephant? - One small bite at a time! :)

Is there a way you can get Ben to concentrate on one bit at a time and make a series of mini projects out of it - perhaps with you negotiating a 'timetable/schedule' for work, so that you can make sure he takes a break? And perhaps explain to school that this is what you are doing as the whole task is just too daunting?

[gala]

Im with you on this one Sue! I feel like I am treading through treacle all the time with Michael. The stress is awful so {{{{Hugs}}}}]
Have you used any of the free translation sites to check his work.Michael uses one for his German but he has to do it first. Hope this one is of use.

http://www.translation-guide.com/free_online_translators.php?from=English&to=Welsh

Margaret

[BarryandCaron]

Sue, sorry to hear Ben is having such a hard time with his homework. All I can suggest is having a word with his teacher. DS1 struggled at Junior cshool but had loads of help at secondary, he's now sitting his A'levels:omg:

Caron

[Sean_and_Sue]

Thanks everyone:D Will definately try that translation site tomorrow, Mags - we struggled today to find a site that would translate more than a couple of words at a time - if he is translating orally, its no problem - but when he comes to write it down, he really gets confused.

Margaret - up to now, the teachers do seem to have made allowances - I know when he had to do a project on Victorians, he got extra help in school to finish it - that was in year 4 - but this year, the ammount of homework has really increased, and its definately a struggle - he was also supposed to revise science, ready for a test this weekend - but he hasn't touched it, he was so focused on this project, so now I am dreading him doing badly at the test, and getting more down:( I will try and work out a sort of timetable for him to complete this, a little at a time, and have a word with the teacher too - he has just gone to bed - much later than usual, but he is so hyped, I had to let him have longer to try and chill him out:( And I am sat here, knowing full well that at midnight or later, he will still be awake and fretting:(

Thank you, all, for the support - I really appreciate it, cos until I read your replies, I was sat here feeling totally helpless and also rotten for letting myself get so frustrated by all this - I know I let myself get very short tempered and cross today:blush:

Love Suexx

[TinkTatoo]

Just read this Sue - I can't offer any real help, DS goes to a special school so his dyspraxia is not an issue there as they make allowances.

Would they let him present his project typed up rather than written. He could dictate it to you and you could type it (although I don't know how this would work in Welsh)

DS has the usual dyspraxic problems but also one with handwriting - as he gets older he will be allowed to use a laptop for his work as writing is so difficult - Is this facility available in Wales?

Good luck and ((((hugs)))) to you both

[Karen Mouse]

Hi Sue

I used to work with a child Psycologist (never could spell it!) who used to assess children for dyslexia and dyspraxia. He always advised each school on how to alter / amend work to suit the child depending on the severity etc.

The school should perhaps get him to complete 3 rather than 5 sections and as someone else suggested - they should allow him to type rather than write everything. Perhaps the school dont really realise how much of a struggle it is for him. If he has been stuggling but coping they might not realise the time he takes to complete the work at home. Ask to have a chat with the teacher(s) and tell them how long it takes him and the stressful state he ends up in. I'm sure they'll be sympathetic. He should also get extra time in exams etc. It really depends on the individual schools knowledge of dys as to their understanding and strategies to help your son.

best of luck

[Mark&Jackie]

Hi Sue, I also have a DS10 with learning difficulties. I don't know what the system is where you live but over here if the child is formally diagnosed then there are special allowances made in the schools.

Handing in typed work is one of them - if you have the time, perhaps he could dictate to you want he wants to say and you could type it up for him.

It is very very frustrating and I can completely sympathise with you. My older DD gets a rough ride from her brother too and there's always screaming and shouting going on here. I dread homework of any kind.

You have to constantly remind the teachers of your child's situation and fight for his rights.

all the best
Jackie

[maggiesieve]

Hi, sorry to join in but just wanted to say that my son has ABI and as such suffers some of the same problems that you son does. DS's school has provided a scribe for him and he dictates the work he wants written, maybe they would allow this for your son ? If he knows what he wants to have in his project then someone writting it down for him is surely better than him not doing it at all. Also have you tried to get a voice recogniser for the computer, they are expensive but fundung should be available from you local PCT that way he would be able to ' talk ' to the computer and it would write it all down, this would also be useful for when he goes to secondary school. Hope you get everything sorted out

[scottishwee35]

Had an absolutely horrendous day today:(

DS Ben, 10 has to do a project on WW2 for homework - he needs at least 5 separate sections, each around 3 or 4 pages long. He can use pics downloaded from the net, but everything else needs to be in his own words - and wait for it - in Welsh:cry: Bens concentration is poor, ditto his ability to write for an extended period and he is so daunted by the size of this task, that he has already almost given up - It took him 45 mins today to write out - in his own words - a brief paragraph to introduce just one of the topics he has selected. He is obsessed with doing a good job, and though he was crying with frustration at one point, he refused to take more than a few minutes break at a time, and worked on it for around 5 hours in total - and that produced a 1 page 'time-line', and 2 pages of introductory paragraphs:( He really is trying hard, and he does know what he wants to say - but physically, the task of writing so much is beyond him. Typing is nearly as slow as writing, even if thats allowed (I don't know yet if it is).

I know there are a few parents here with dyspraxic/dyslexic kids - please have any of you got any tips for helping him complete a project like this - suggestions that I could make to his teachers, perhaps - I dont know if Ben (or I) could cope with another day like today - it breaks my heart to see him struggle like this, to see how frustrated he gets and then to try and gee him on when he is crying that he is "stupid" and can't do it. It ended up today with him hyped out of his skin cos he is so stressed (and I know he will lose sleep tonight, worrying about it, and that will cause more problems for him, especially in school), his big sister, who really knocked herself out to help him, getting frustrated too and yelling at him, and me with a banging headache, very short tempered and shouting at the youngest DD, cos she played up at the lack of attention she got today:cry:

Sorry this is such a long post, but I can't tell you how much this has upset me - and ressurected my fears about how on earth he is going to cope with secondary school. Any advice very gratefully received:(

Love Suexx

Well, same with me, I am frustrated too and found out that my son have dyparaxia well. He had very poor writing and he have motor problem which weak in hand and leg. He is 9 years old now and my husband's parent start worry about him now. About homework, oh hell for us, but funny he love maths and doing well but not english, or writing as took for ages and cannot doing himself!! We are both deaf and my son is hearing and find it us for us. My husband parent went to lecture about dyparaxia and can help. Called SNIP from Hospital can help you with family fund and dla. We need tutor for our home at evening to help him with homework and talking well.

I understand how you feeling same with us stressful well as my son is lovely quiet boy.

Scottishwee35

[Helen uk]

Sue,has your son got a statement from the council to say he has learning probs?
If he has the school should cater for his needs.If not they should be having the special needs teacher helping him.
This really annoys me as our DS was 10 and went through primary till the last year and then they said he had moderate learning and dyspraxia and would not let him got to main school like his friends(councils:angry: )
He has now left after staying on a couple of years to catch up and is now doing a horticultural course at college so dont be to worried ,we feel it more than them some times.;) :spin:

[Sean_and_Sue]

Thank you again everyone, for your replies:D

Yes, Ben is statemented - both the dyslexia and dyspraxia have been diagnosed as being at the severe end of the scale, plus he has Irlens, pragmatic speech disorder and mild ADHD - he gets one to one support for 3 hours a day, but the school have linked him to a child with similar problems who also gets this support and as they "share" a support worker, it basically means he has support all day, plus several sessions a week with the senco - up to now, in terms of educational needs, I have to admit, the school have been pretty good - my only gripe is that they don't seem to acknowledge what a huge problem Ben has with getting stressed out and how it can impact on him. I have contacted them several times about the fact that he is worrying himself sick about secondary school, but they really don't seem to think its any big deal:(

As regards the project, Ben has actually asked me NOT to contact the school, as he is worried that they will think he is just "making a fuss to get out of doing the work" - well, Ben isn't daft and I admit there have been the odd occasions where he has tried to use his difficulties to avoid a task - but anyone who knows him can see this isn't one of them. We have agreed that for the next week, we will spend no more than 25 mins a night working on this together, and I have sort of planted the idea that if the work he is able to produce shows that he is trying, and that if he tries to do a couple of different things with the project, that the teachers will recognise this and he will do well - he is doing, eg, a section on propaganda, so included in that, a mate is making Ben a cd of war time songs, Ben will decorate a 'case' for it and include a brief paragraph on how entertainment and music was used to boost the moral of troops and the public. Similarly, there is an old Anderson Shelter still standing, not far away, so we will pay it a visit and take some photo's for the section he is doing on shelters. If - at the end of the week, he is still unhappy, then I will be contacting the school, on the quiet and seeing what they suggest.

He can present typed work, and I certainly don't mind typing as he dictates - the only stumbling block is that it has to be in Welsh - he is a fluent welsh speaker - but I am not:( So - complicated, but workable, I am hoping that Big sis will write down his dictated notes and then I will type them out and print them - and then I can use the link Mags provided to hopefully check the work.:D And the voice recogniser sounds like a great idea - will definately look into that, because iot sounds like that will help a lot especially when he moves up to secondary:D

Thank You again everyone:D

Love Suexx

[princess_anita]

Sue I do know how Ben is feeling - being severely dyslexic myself I know how frustrating it is to try and do something and know what you want to do but have no way in knowing how to actually write what you want to say. This may have been suggested already but when I was trying to write my 2500 word essay on terrorism (I had a good cry over this) for my psycho-socio unit I went to my teacher about how I couldn't get what I wanted down on paper. I knew exactually what I wanted and needed to say - and my teacher knew I knew what I was talking about. Her suggestion to me was to record my self, so I went home and recorded all my thoughts and what I needed to say, then I literally typed that up. Not only does it help with the actually writing but it helps clear the head and allows you to make associations between things.

Ben does need to lots of breaks, 5mins doing nothing ever 20mins does wonders for concentration.

I wish Ben the very best of luck with it all.

[janeywaney]

Both my DS's are dyslexic/dyspraxic and both of them are allowed to use mind mapping at school. They also both have alphasmarts to type up their work. It may be worth talking to the SENCo and seeing if there is a little extra help with this. It was suggested that my youngest DS used a dictaphone and I typed up is work as his handwriting is so bad. Anyway I hope you get some help and I hope he calms down and stops stressing about his homework

[lil tinker]

hello sue'

i know exactly how your son feels i was that kid i still am.
(i know this wouldnt help with the school stuff but dose he have a hobbie like painting?, or drawing or anything else creative like that because at least that way he wont feel useless and he'll understand that he has talents. (i found acting)

first of all once your son gets to high school you have have have to kick up a fuss and be a pain go. other wise nothing will get done for exaple now i've left school and iam at college ive discovered a number of exame concessiona iam allowed such as extra time and a computer the school new this it just costs them to much money or they dont even know but really there is allways something else they can do if your lucky and he has a perticular nice teacher it shudent be to bad jsut ask for now at leat that he can have extra.




ooooooooh and also i dont know if u have tried this allready but i have some colured glasses that really help my reading and writing that may help your son.


you can probally tell from this post how bad my dislexia is lol but iam tired.


i remeber a project i had to do on pompei and mount vesuveas......

[Rea]

The statement is for your child alone, and is to meet his individual needs, along with his IEP. The senco should tailor the assistance to your son's needs not this other child. Ask to speak to the Learning Support Teacher who should visit school either every week or once a fortnight. If both children are statemented then the school recieves funds for both children. You could say to school that you don't mind your son working with the other child some of the time, but you want some one-to-one support for your child. He should have access to a laptop computer, he should have extra time for changing for PE etc. He should have somewhere quiet for exams along with a reader, a scribe and extra time. Schools often take advantage of statemented children as they receive additional funding, and don't always use it appropriately.

I'll stop ranting now, but it's so frustrating that you go through all the hassle of having your child statemented and schools try and take advantage.

I have Dyspraxic, Dyslexic children one of whom has double vision, severe asthma, Dyscalculia. I've also spent many years working for the Special Educational Needs Support Services, and schools don't like it when you know exactly what your child is entitled to rather than what they are prepared to give.

[signtalker]

Our son is dysbraxic and has a full statement at school(30 hours).in our review meeting we emphasised that we needed a laptop computer for DS, he's now in year 10 and going through mock GCSE's, his writing is illegable, so hence the need!!!. the school agreed with us. We heard last week, DS has been bought a new laptop computer and its his for as long as he needs it!.
I have found you do need to jump up and down abit for what you want. Failing that, write a letter to the chair of the school of Governers, you will be amazed at what pockets of cash they have hidden away that parents dont get told about!!!

jules

[bustersmum]

Have you a dicta phone could he not research and note each section into short busts to translate - at least that way the ground work is done.Will school allow him to word process the rest rather than have it all written.
That is a huge amount of work for one child to be given in one go let alone one with specific needs who needs lots of support - i would be contacting the school.My dd is 10 she has never had as much as that to do and i work in school previously in ks2 and dont recall anyone else getting as much either.