101 Palpitations The Return Day 4 Morro Bay

[rummy63]

Day 4 Morro Bay

Good morning we are still in Visalia

I don’t want to leave this haven

Had another dip in the pool

Called to the onsite grill for breakfast, again this did not disappoint.

As I said I am not coping well with this living out of a suitcase carry on.

We appear to have lost Al’s boxers.

Had to call to a Wal-Mart for Al some nix.

Miss Pickles managed to get us to a Walgreens.

Never mind perhaps they sell them here and I love looking at all the medical stuff in Walgreens.

Now my Al doesn’t do browsing if he can’t find what he wants within a nano second of entering a shop he summons an assistant.

I hate that.

Plus everybody has different names for boxers.

When I first knew him all his boxers were a nasty dark green.

I called them his grungies.

Over the years this name has evolved to grundies.

I am really glad I wasn’t stood with him when he summoned the assistant.

Christine and I were in the next aisle when we heard him.

“Excuse me love do you sell grundies?”

“Grundies sir I’ve never heard of them”

“You know under stuff”

Well me and Christine were rolling in the aisle by this time.

“Ah yes sir I’ll show you”

He bought two packs of grungy green ones.

Anyway grungies bought we set off for Morro Bay.

We were a couple of hours away and there was a lot of this.



Even more of this.






Oh and this.



Finally we arrived at the La Serena.

It’s really pleasant but a bit like an old folk’s home.

I am ultra-disappointed with the balcony and sea view. I actually paid extra for it.





The rooms were £98.00 each and the hotel doesn't have a pool.

Our room is also the disabled room and there were a lot of aids in the bathroom.


The room itself is comfortable.




The plan was to look around Morro Bay and have a rest.

Alternatively do Hearst Castle and have no rest.

Hearst won I really don’t want to spend any time in this room.

Actually I think it’s a hotel for twitchers because there are pictures of birds everywhere even in the lift.

It was about twenty minutes to the Hearst Castle and on the way we passed a field of zebras.

We found out later they belong to the trust that owns the castle.

I can’t remember the entrance fee but it wasn’t a fortune otherwise I would have remembered.

I think it was about $50.00 for the four of us.

We opted for the beginner’s tour.

That included a film, a bus ride up to the castle a tour of the dining living and games room. Plus the grounds and the pools.

We had about 20 minutes to wait for the film so we grabbed a coffee and pastry we didn’t want much as we were eating at a place called Shawn’s that had great reviews and we didn’t want to spoil our appetite.

We watched the film.

Basically what happened and this is my grasp of the events.

In the 1800s Grandad Hearst struck silver and transported it 500 miles to weigh in.

He crossed the Sierras with a team of donkeys, no road AND NO MacDonald’s.

He made a shed load of money and started buying land with water and then leased the water rights.

Hats off to the bloke he earned every penny.

After all Christine and I moaned about crossing a small part of the Sierras with only 2 donkeys and an air conditioned car.

Anyway along came the grandson Randolph and inherited the aforementioned shed load.

He then went on an ego trip building the castle and importing antiques.

Not to mention building two fabulous pools one for the mistress and one for the missus.

This was the roaring twenties.

Every week end they had parties and lots of stars attended plus lots of young, thin women.

This leaves me thinking that perhaps they were all throwing their car starting handles into a big dish and playing 50 shades of grey in there.

Eventually the running costs of the castle became too much so it was turned over to the National Trust.

So no I wasn’t overly impressed with Randy Hearst.

We got on a bus up to the castle and were met by our tour guide.








I found the guide boring and the rules over bearing.

Under no circumstances had one to step off the line of carpet and touch the floor.

There were overzealous guards everywhere telling people not to step off the carpet.

Nobody had.

I couldn’t resist it I stood on one leg and hovered with the other dangling over the line.

Please do try this at home it’s actually really difficult to do.

I could tell the neo Nazi of a guard was getting really agitated so it was having the desired effect, the cramp and the pain was worth it.

Then a little Chinese kid did the unthinkable and walked on the wooden floor the guard went into full melt down mode shouting down a loud speaker at the kid who was about five yards away from him.

Then he gets on his walkie talkie.

I assumed he was calling up an air strike.

The kid was really upset and so I had to go and stick my two pennorth in.

I asked the guard why he hadn’t just taken the poor little burgher out into the backyard and shot him.

For all he knew the kid might not have understood English.

A woman turned round to me and started muttering that I was not listening to the guide.

I told her “Of course I’m listening to him can’t you see I’m yawning my head off”.

The guide then went on to say that of course the Brits would not be impressed with the artefacts as we had stuff like that in our own PARLOURS.

Yes we’ve got running water and electricity in our sculleries as well.

Anyway we carried on and went to have a look at the swimming pools.

The first pool belonged to the mistress.







Poor Knotty stumbled on the step and put his hand out onto one of the pillars to save himself.

Immediately he was told not to touch the mistress’s pillars.

What was he supposed to do fall over and smash the new knees that the good people of Britain have just paid a fortune for?

They weren’t even decent pillars our post office has better pillars than them.







The wife's pool.

We decided it might be best if we made our way back down the hill.

Don’t get me wrong the Hearst Castle was well worth seeing. the setting was beautiful and I am really pleased I went.

We then made our way to see the elephant seals at San Simeon about 5 miles away.

The parking was free.

We didn’t stay long it was too cold. That was the only time we were cold all holiday.








Plus we were starving.

For dinner we went to Shawn’s on Main Street which had great reviews on Trip Advisor

OH DEAR

We were in plenty of time the place didn’t shut until 10.00pm.

For a start off it didn’t look very ambiencical.

Just simple, square wooden tables benches and chairs.

There were four people already eating what I presumed to be a starter.

We were greeted by a woman dressed in a red hoodie and grungy green slacks (must have been shopping in Walgreens).

She had that long fuzzy wild greying hair that forty somethings often have.

It really should have been tied back.

I thought who got you ready?

Blind Pugh.

We asked for a table for four.

She said and I quote I’ll go and ask chef if he can fit you in.

She asked a bloke who I presume to be Shawn if he would cook for us.

Her whole demeanour was as though asking a favour.

I really wish he had said no.

She gave us a menu it consisted of four items and one veggie dish.

The menu apologised for lack of choice due to staff shortages.

Erm how many staff do you need for 4 customers at what I would call a peak time 8.00pm?

The alarm bells were already starting

The menu also went on to say that the staff shortage was due to illness.

Umm………………………… E Coli perhaps?

Anyway the Christine and Knotty ordered chicken.

There was nothing else they wanted.

I ordered beef with rice.

My al ordered ribs.

We didn’t bother with starters as we got the impression they were a little put out and doing us a favour.

They had a very extensive wine list but of the three we chose none were in stock.

Never mind we will have 4 Buds they only had 3 and nothing else so we didn’t bother.

She did manage a jug of water but to be honest it looked a bit cloudy and I wondered if she had got it out of the toilet cistern.

It wasn’t even apple white.

The food came.

Well I kid you not it was in a small cereal bowl.

Christine’s and Knotties was a chicken thigh on a spoon of mash with 2 green beans.

Ugh and the skin was still on it was all white and bobbly.

Mine was four small cubes of beef the size of an Oxo on some kind of mushy rice I think he had used risotto rice because it had gone a bit gloopy. I also got two al dente green beans.

Al’s four ribs were on a plate with the spoon of mash and two green beans.

I don’t think those ribs were beef they looked a bit on the small side

I reckon they were Billy Goat ribs.

Well Christine and I were furious.

Knotty was telling us not to make a scene.

Just to eat up, pay up and say nothing.

There was no way I was going to do the hand nipping thing because

I was definitely going to say something.

Red Riding hood came to the table and asked if everything was ok and my Al who has the backbone of a chocolate éclair!
SAID YES.

Forty seconds later after we had eaten she came back to clear the dishes.

I asked her if the main course would be much longer.

She seemed a bit taken aback. “Excuse me marm”.

“Oh yes I’m sorry you call them entrees, will the………. Entrees……… be much longer?”

“I just served your entrees marm” she was getting the picture.

“Oh I’m sorry I’ve never been served such a small entrée in a breakfast bowl before.

I just presumed it was an appetiser or some kind of amuse bouche and I have to say my bouche wasn’t amused because that rice was gloopy and those beans were frozen”.

I then asked her for the bill.

She brought it to the table and did a quick retreat I think she knew I was going to say something.

I think my Al and Knotty did as well because they were out of that door like Thunderbolt and Lightfoot.

The bill was $87.50.

That was 17 dollars each for the 2 chicken thighs.

Eighteen dollars each for the ribs and beef.

Then 25% had been added to cover service and tax.

I went up to the bar and handed Red Riding hood a $50.00note.

Christine came with me.

I told her I wasn’t going to argue with her I was just going to explain why I was right.

I was only going to pay the appetizer price because that is all we had received.

She told me that she had never had complaints before and we must have enjoyed it because we had cleared our plates.

I had to correct her they were not plates they were cereal bowls and there was only 4 mouthfuls in each bowl.

Christine told her that the chicken was a thigh and should have been advertised as being “on the bone” on the menu.

Also my beef was “skirt” the cheapest part of a cow and again should have been advertised.

She couldn’t discern what Al’s ribs were and she had retained one for analysis.

Christine used to be a butcher.

I’m not kidding she did it for about 25 years she was a demon with a chopper.

The bloke who cooked it just stood there and never opened his mouth.

I told him if he was going down the “Nouvelle Cuisine“ route he really shouldn’t have used frozen green beans.

They were definitely frozen I should know I’ve cooked enough and flogged enough in my time.

She said it was not intended to be Nouvelle Cuisine it was “European Style” portions.

"Ah yes you must have got your inspiration from Lilliput".

We left her with the $50.00 dollars and told her if she felt she had been robbed to ring the police.

To be honest at that point if I had been arrested I wouldn’t have cared.

We went back to the Twitchers Inn and had a couple of cans and carried on moaning about Shawn’s.

Strangely enough none of us were hungry.

One good thing the beds were really comfy.

Night

[denthefrog]

Loving the trippy - you have me crying with laughter... Can't wait for more

[Pussycat Doll]

Loving it but that meal sounds just awful, I think I would have walked! Pussycat

[parisdisneyfan]

You are so right about Randolph Hearst! and the tour guides, we got sick of the way they talked as though he was not only a personal friend but a god - no way, total spoilt brat!

I think we passed Shawns! tip for next time, the Moonstone Bar and Grill, huge portions and absolutely delish food, sitting outside watching and listening to the Pacific. If it gets cool they have heaters and give you blankets

[Twentyyears]

Good for you on the meal and the tour guides, glad we gave Hearst a miss if it has got like that, wasn't twenty years ago

[Helen0705]

I love your sense of humour - Thunderbolt and Lightening had me howling !
More please

[Guest]

Absolutely brilliant love the way you write, i will never look at Al the same way knowing about his green grungies lol

[abiknox]

Oh I'd love to have witnessed that restaurant conversation

[goofysgirl]

Demon with a chopper - love it :-)

[lettie]

Very funny lady more more I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING .