For parents who kids have Aspergers

[JudyC]

My DS19 was diagnosed with mild aspergers when he was 7. He had extra help throughout primary and secondary school but struggled to get decent grades in his GCSE's

He's always been a quiet lad with few friends, but everyone always said he was a pleasure to know. The only challenging behaviour we had to deal with was in his early to mid teens, when he could loose his temper at home. I think a lot of that was down to teenage hormones as well as the frustration of aspergers though.

Last year he managed to get his GCSE C grade in maths, and he passed his driving test 18 months ago. In the last 12 months he's got a small group of friends he goes to a club with on a Friday night, and now has a girlfriend as well

I guess the point of this post is to give some hope to those of you with younger kids with aspergers. Life does get better as they get older, it just takes time.

[TinkTatoo]

Thanks Judy

My two are still 8 and 9 so what the future holds for them is still a big worry and it's nice to hear that your son is getting on so well

[gala]

I worry so much about my 14 yr old. We were told endlessly that there was a strong probability he wouldnt go to mainstream school. He struggled with friendships and obsessive behaviour the whole way through primary school, constantly believing that everyone was laughing at him but having no empathy himself for other children in similarly distressing situations.He was a fantastic reader but couldnt move on with reading because he didnt understand a single thing he was reading about. He used to get so frustrated about that.
Secondary school was a nightmare for the first two years as the same problems were happening. However, the one thing he always wanted to do was succeed. To that end I decided not to go back to work and home tutor him on top of going to school. I taught myself a whole range of subjects, taught him in turn and suddenly his grades have sky rocketed.. He has an amazing group of about 8-10 friends (all lovely, bright witty boys) and has a wicked sense of humour which the teachers tell me cracks them up. They also tell me he is very well behaved and even if he doesnt get the top marks he wants he always tries.
Life has changed so much for him in the last few years but as any parent will know it is damned hard work. Ds is even doing one GCSE early this year which I would never have believed 3 years ago. I still have problems with obsessiveness but often he can see that trait in himself and can stop himself from persisting with whatever he was going on about. What the future holds for him I do not know, but I live in hope.
Judy, yours is a lovely story so well done to you and especially your son. Jakki, having meet you and your lovely family, let me tell everyone here, you are a fantastic Mum with endless patience. Your children will do extremely well too and they are a credit to you and Steve.
Anyway Im a bit emotional after all that! Never give up with Aspergers kids. They can bring great joy, even though there are many challenges along the way.

Margaret

[Guest]

Judy your son sounds like a real credit to you and gives hope to all those parents going through tough times with their kids growing up. Nice to hear his story.

[Jewel]

I love this board for the support it gives and the friendships you make along the way. Thanks for sharing.
julie x

[mouse]

I am really impressed I find that having a son of 12 with Aspergers to be a challenge I am never sure the the the school or LEA understand. What your son has achieved gives us all hope which is something we all need

[Bartswife]

What a wonderful story from both Judy and Margaret. Our 10 year old is undergoing diagnostic work for ASD at the moment, I believe its Aspergers but who knows . I worry like crazy about his future, he's moving back to mainstream in September from a four year spell in a specialised speech and language unit with the same teachers so suddenly going to a 'big' school where he's got to move around and have different teachers is going to be a little different! I've heard very good reports about their SN department so fingers crossed. Hearing stories like this give you hope for the future that there is light at the end of the tunnel, the only difference between our children is my son is not particularly keen on doing homework so trying to help him learn at home is sometimes an uphill battle with me doing a lot of moaning and nagging He does like to please people though and will put himself out in order to please me and his teachers, just moans like heck about doing it.

[Jedi_Angie]

Hope for the future is so important - when you have to listen to so many 'experts' tell you what your child won't or can't achieve, it can be difficult to stay positive.

I have three children, two of them diagnosed with ASD. My 11-year-old son is classed as 'high functioning', similar to AS (but more affected by communication difficulties than social problems) and my 8-year-old son is more seriously affected. We have had to fight every step of the way for help for both of them and I'm sure the battle will continue indefinitely. My older son spent his first week at primary school hiding under a desk and it was three years before we got anything resembling a 'normal' report card (ie. one that didn't focus on his behaviour and shortcomings). He's now ready to begin at our local mainstream secondary school in August; he's in the top group for maths, has given several talks in front of his whole class, and is one of the best behaved in his class. When I look back at all the negativity we received from other people all those years ago, I wish someone had told me what he might achieve, not just what he would not.

We have no idea if our younger son will ever manage a mainstream secondary school, or even if he will be able to live independently. We're only able to give him the best shot at life that we can.

[whambar]

Hi - I thought I would just say that my son is 12 this year and we are about to book our first WDW holiday in 08, he has Aspergers too and I was wondering if the first WDW holiday for my son would be a difficult one(confusing, scary etc). thanks mel

[Jedi_Angie]

It depends on your child. Our boys are both hypo-sensitive, and it takes a lot to get a response out of them. They absolutely thrive in Orlando, with so much to see and do. They don't cope well with standing in line, particularly if there are a lot of people about or in an enclosed space, but the GAC reduces that to manageable levels.

There's a really good article here...

allearsnet/pl/dis_aut.htm

Hope that helps!