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-   -   Leaving older children overnight. (https://www.thedibb.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=1140835)

Twin mummy 10 Aug 19 05:21 PM

Leaving older children overnight.
 
Husband and I want to go away in the caravan for a few days over the bank holiday. We are thinking of going on the Saturday and coming back Wednesday so 4 nights. Our twin girls don’t want to come. They are 16, 17 in September. I’m a bit hesitant at leaving them for the whole time for the first time so have suggested they stay at home for 1 or 2 nights and then my mil comes and gets them. (They wanted to spend a couple of nights there anyway)

That’s alright at this age isn’t it? Just second guessing myself really.

duchy 10 Aug 19 05:29 PM

Depends , at sixteen I was at work, by seventeen I worked away abroad occasionally and was capable of cooking a meal, turning off appliances and locking the house up.
Yet today's teenagers ,we see posts from parents concerned about leaving teenagers who are legal adults or them catching a train so for some families maybe the kids are more dependant for longer ?
At seventeen my son was fine if we went away for a weekend, got himself to college by train etc .
I think it very much depends what independence they already have , how responsible they are as individuals , there is no wrong or right answer, just what is right for your family and personalities.

I would say though, if not at seventeen, then when ? If they aren't ready , maybe it's time to start leading them to "adult ready" ?

novocastrian 10 Aug 19 05:31 PM

Nearly 17 left overnight on their own, why ever not?

years time they could be off to uni, married , in the army

loves2plan 10 Aug 19 05:46 PM

It depends on the children. If they were wild, unruly or you had behaviour/attitude problens then I'd be concerned about what they might get up to! If they're good, sensible children then definitely. We've just had a long weekend in Oxford and left our 16 year old son at home on his own, and our 17 year old (nearly 18) daughter moved out last month in to her own house with her boyfriend. Both of ours are very level headed and trustworthy, so if yours are the same, then I don't see why you wouldn't. It's that time of transition, but I do understand how hard it is.

DisneyDaffodil 10 Aug 19 05:55 PM

As everyone has said previously, as long as they can be trusted, I see no reason why they can’t be left. Especially if it’s just a couple of nights this first time and then they go to their grandmothers. It’s a good way to give them some independence and teach them to look after themselves a little. Plus, as you are going with your caravan I’m guessing it’s a UK break so you can keep in touch easily and go back if you needed to.

We left our older boys when they were that age and they were fine. They had ground rules and I expected to come home to a tidy home, and they were always respectful of our wishes. Their aunt lived around a mile or so away and could get to them if needed, but they never needed her for anything.

Twin mummy 10 Aug 19 05:56 PM

Yes, no concern over wild parties, very independent, can sort out most things, would know what to do in an emergency etc, used to being left all day, evening. I suppose part of it is that we wouldn’t be able to get back to them quickly but My Mil is only half an hour away.

vampiress88 10 Aug 19 06:19 PM

Had a job at 15 that I used to walk 2 miles home from at 1/2pm. Was left in house on own from this time. No problem. I was the responsible one.
Both sisters left at 17 and both threw party’s and the youngest one got the house smashed up.

There’s no right as as it depends on the child.
If they are responsible then I think it’s a good age.

lyn1 10 Aug 19 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twin mummy (Post 14007450)
Yes, no concern over wild parties, very independent, can sort out most things, would know what to do in an emergency etc, used to being left all day, evening. I suppose part of it is that we wouldn’t be able to get back to them quickly but My Mil is only half an hour away.

Depends on the children, but yours sound sensible enough so I wouldn't have any hesitation about leaving them.

Floridatilly 10 Aug 19 06:28 PM

Totally depends on the child. My 16 year old would have a melt down if I left her. She is hopeless though 😜

sam7 10 Aug 19 06:29 PM

At 16 I was left 'home alone' till 4/5/6am with babies and young children, babysitting them while their parents had a night out. Also was left till 7am as my mum was a single mum and a nurse working nights - can't see the difference. You know your girls and if they are likely to trash the place with parties or be sensible


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