Am I being unfair!
 

I am totally being a cow, birthday today/ tomorrow and dd21 brought round my present earlier, I’ve had a really crappy few days so not feeling in the best of moods, and I’m actually feeling really mad at my present an ambi pure air freshener and a box of chocolates that I don’t really like, and it’s really upset me to think that was all the effort she could be bothered to make, I feel like totally under appreciated, and I do a lot for all our kids, I always make I put a lot of thought into all their presents and effort into making sure they have always had lovely birthdays and Xmas, I don’t just walk into nearest supermarket and just buy any old crap with no thought! Sorry if I’m out of order but it’s actually really upset me😢

I would be relaxed about the chocolates whether I like them or not, I don’t know that my family know my specific chocolate tastes as it isn’t a topic of conversation for me.

But the air freshener as a present? No I don’t know in what universe this is an acceptable gift. I can understand why you are upset, I would be furious.

Happy Birthday! hope the rest of the day is better for you.

I don't think you're being selfish at all... perhaps hopelessly optimistic ;-) but nothing wrong with that!

My family is the same. I always get "well we just dont know what to get" "you have everything" " we can't afford something you'd buy" when all I want is something that says they think enough of me to put in some time thinking about me.

Of course, we can't be ungrateful so we end up internalising it all and feeling sad.

21 is, in my opinion, old enough to have a proper conversation. Obviously not on the day since it's too emotional, but in the days after it needs a non-accusing, gentle and honest, "can you understand why that made me upset and all Im saying is, its not the cost or size of the gift, it's the thoughtfulness" and yes, it's not always easy! I spend ages thinking about the people I buy gifts for and some hit the spot more than others, but I always try (heck I spend ages on the cards too!)

So you're out of order at all but it's definitely not just you

Hope you have a great time anyway :)

Happy Birthday! Hope your day gets better.
I think the air freshener is a ridiculous gift and I’m unsure why that would enter anyone’s head to buy for a birthday however I would laugh about it rather than be upset/annoyed. It wouldn’t enter my head about how much time or effort I put in for others gifts as I do that out of choice.

When is her birthday ?
Save the gifts, rewrap them and give them to her.

hehe that's definitely an interesting option

Happy birthday. Treat yourself to something nice instead.

Chocolates , ok but like the other Dibbers , AIR FRESHNER? ...Could understand if it's one of those nice mosaic bottle type that you add oil and burn for a while at around 25 quid but Ambi pur?
Nope ,I'd be livid too.

I’m a guy who dreads birthdays as I literally never know what to buy it doesn’t mean I don’t dearly love my wife but I was/am never good at these things. Perhaps your daughter is the same.

Family should know your favourite chocolates though

Happy birthday