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stink08 12 Aug 19 12:17 AM

Am I being unfair!
I am totally being a cow, birthday today/ tomorrow and dd21 brought round my present earlier, Iíve had a really crappy few days so not feeling in the best of moods, and Iím actually feeling really mad at my present an ambi pure air freshener and a box of chocolates that I donít really like, and itís really upset me to think that was all the effort she could be bothered to make, I feel like totally under appreciated, and I do a lot for all our kids, I always make I put a lot of thought into all their presents and effort into making sure they have always had lovely birthdays and Xmas, I donít just walk into nearest supermarket and just buy any old crap with no thought! Sorry if Iím out of order but itís actually really upset me😢

Claudette 12 Aug 19 12:24 AM

I would be relaxed about the chocolates whether I like them or not, I donít know that my family know my specific chocolate tastes as it isnít a topic of conversation for me.

But the air freshener as a present? No I donít know in what universe this is an acceptable gift. I can understand why you are upset, I would be furious.

KeithOP 12 Aug 19 12:27 AM

Happy Birthday! hope the rest of the day is better for you.

I don't think you're being selfish at all... perhaps hopelessly optimistic ;-) but nothing wrong with that!

My family is the same. I always get "well we just dont know what to get" "you have everything" " we can't afford something you'd buy" when all I want is something that says they think enough of me to put in some time thinking about me.

Of course, we can't be ungrateful so we end up internalising it all and feeling sad.

21 is, in my opinion, old enough to have a proper conversation. Obviously not on the day since it's too emotional, but in the days after it needs a non-accusing, gentle and honest, "can you understand why that made me upset and all Im saying is, its not the cost or size of the gift, it's the thoughtfulness" and yes, it's not always easy! I spend ages thinking about the people I buy gifts for and some hit the spot more than others, but I always try (heck I spend ages on the cards too!)

So you're out of order at all but it's definitely not just you

Hope you have a great time anyway :)

RM2016 12 Aug 19 12:31 AM

Happy Birthday! Hope your day gets better.
I think the air freshener is a ridiculous gift and Iím unsure why that would enter anyoneís head to buy for a birthday however I would laugh about it rather than be upset/annoyed. It wouldnít enter my head about how much time or effort I put in for others gifts as I do that out of choice.

duchy 12 Aug 19 01:07 AM

When is her birthday ?
Save the gifts, rewrap them and give them to her.

KeithOP 12 Aug 19 01:16 AM


Originally Posted by duchy (Post 14010164)
When is her birthday ?
Save the gifts, rewrap them and give them to her.

hehe that's definitely an interesting option

waiting4disney 12 Aug 19 01:18 AM

Happy birthday. Treat yourself to something nice instead.

buddog 12 Aug 19 02:28 AM

Chocolates , ok but like the other Dibbers , AIR FRESHNER? ...Could understand if it's one of those nice mosaic bottle type that you add oil and burn for a while at around 25 quid but Ambi pur?
Nope ,I'd be livid too.

jas72 12 Aug 19 04:04 AM

Iím a guy who dreads birthdays as I literally never know what to buy it doesnít mean I donít dearly love my wife but I was/am never good at these things. Perhaps your daughter is the same.

lizzie145 12 Aug 19 04:44 AM

Family should know your favourite chocolates though

Happy birthday

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