Just wondered if I could get some views here...
My sister (who has been mentally unwell this year) phoned me to say she wasn't going to be doing any Xmas shopping this year and she was offering me a choice of gift vouchers or donation to charity - with a clear inference that I should be following my other sister's choice (when she was asked) of donating to charity.
She stated that her and her partner wanted no gifts and we were to donate any money we were going to spend to a good cause.
I didn't give her an answer there & then as I was feeling quite pressured by her assertive tone.
Well, I had thought about it since, and the more I've thought & discussed it with DH, the more sort of in two minds I've become that she seems to be imposing her way of doing Xmas on to me with an added guilt trip if I don't goo along with it.
Whilst I have every respect that she might like a donation to charity instead of a present - I'm entirely happy to do this - its her wish and her choice. I'm fine with that. But whilst I do not expect her to go out shopping if she is not mentally well enough to cope with it, I'm rather that her kind of Xmas shouldn't be seen as superior to the traditional Xmas of gifting our family always enjoy... and I know she will give me the guilt trip if I don't go along entirely with 'her' gifting plans and agree to donate my present money too.
Whilst I have to balance her mental wellness as a factor in all this, DH and I do regularly donate both time, and money, to charity through out the year , so I don't think we need the 'excuse' of Xmas to donate at Xmas
Also I know full well our mother will be getting a present from her. So its not like she will be doing NO Xmas shopping.
Part of me is wanting to not do this mutual charity gifting on principle... part of me is thinking its part of her mental condition and I should just go along with it... I'd like some Dibb views to get some clarity on the best way forward here without creating a family rift.
DH says he feels it like a vegetarian/ vegan telling us that they don't eat meat, so we must not either ! ?