[parisdisneyfan]

My opinion is that, yes it is fine for her to not get you presents and if she wants to donate to charity in your name fine. However you like buying a present for her and that is part of your Christmas, so perhaps just something small but thoughtfully chosen, favourite chocolates, socks type of thing. I agree with your dh - my daughter is veggie and while I make her veggie food which we occasionally have too, we like meat! However if she started saying we shouldn't eat meat as well, unfortunately I think we would see less of her

Finally if there are young/small children on either side I think it is actually not a good idea at all, cut down yes to avoid the need for crowds and shopping but can't do it entirely.

BTW I have a love/hate relationship with christmas due to losing my mum a few days before but I try to join in and would never try to stop it being a big highlight of winter.