Firstly, it’s been a tough year.
My name is James, and I occasionally suffer from manic depression.
I’ve actually had it on and off since I was small, but only realised something was wrong with me quite recently, when poor Mel noticed that the James she was living with was not the James she fell in love with.
It seems to manifest itself in a cycle about every 6 years. My head tells me to do stupid things, to act in weird ways, and to ultimately get myself in a pickle and in mischief.
I noticed the signs earlier in the year and asked my GP for my usual prescription. Life at work was a bad environment with many management changes and much uncertainty about our future.
It became clear that medication alone wasn’t working this time and determined to break the cycle I headed back to my GP.
I was signed off work for several weeks and took the opportunity to get some proper therapy and learn much more about me. A scary journey, but I understand my component parts now. Some who read my posts may occasionally find me bolshy. I apologise – that’s kind of me. I do my best, but take me as you find me.
I learnt that I have much in common with Stephen Fry, Spike Milligan and, to a certain extent, Albert Einstein. Better still, I can relate to their stories. And that helps me, most of the time, to keep it at bay.
I returned to work, but at the end of August I was made redundant.
It had nothing to do with my condition. The writing had been on the wall for some time, and I was actually glad of the release – it did me a favour. The dark black cloud disappeared and the Sun came out to play again.
I am extraordinarily lucky that the NHS is stupid enough to pay Melanie a huge salary for fiddling with a calculator occasionally. She will be reading this later.
Melanie - I love you to infinity and beyond – you are my rock and always there for me. Thanks. 