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sam_b · 6 Jul 22, 01:32 PM

I have no real practical help to offer, I just wanted to send my warmest wishes.
As others have said 7 months is no time at all to adjust to your new life and living next door to an idiot is no help at all.
I haven�t been through the same bereavement as you, but I have experienced my relationship of 20 years coming to an abrupt end out of the blue, which I think may have some similarities in terms of feeling alone and losing the future that you thought that you had.
It took me a long time to rediscover who I was as a person on my own, not as one half of a couple. This was not a journey that I wanted to undertake or had expected to. Little by little it became easier.
I tried to find things that I would enjoy - theatre and cinema (on my own or with friends). I threw myself into a new hobby (mountain biking) which got me outside and fitter. I indulged myself and my sister in a business class trip to Singapore �. And as daft as it sounds I bought an expensive duvet and sheets � I wanted my bed to be a haven, a refuge �.my safe space.
Gradually things started to feel a little better.. there was no single amazing day where I woke up and felt great�but I slowly started to come to terms with who I was and to start thinking about what I wanted.
So, my advice, for what its worth, is to be kind to yourself, to indulge yourself and to start to try to find joy in small things - a bar of your favourite chocolate, a fancy spa day, a weekend break, a show, a walk on a beach, a chat with a friend, a long lie in with the Sunday papers � little by little and slowly, these small patches of joy will start to knit up together � and one day you will feel the scales tip a little more towards contentment than sorrow.
Take your time - there is no fast forward button - but it WILL get better.

6 Jul 22, 01:32 PM	#30
	6 Jul 22, 01:32 PM sam_b Imagineer
sam_b Imagineer Join Date: Nov 03	I have no real practical help to offer, I just wanted to send my warmest wishes. As others have said 7 months is no time at all to adjust to your new life and living next door to an idiot is no help at all. I haven�t been through the same bereavement as you, but I have experienced my relationship of 20 years coming to an abrupt end out of the blue, which I think may have some similarities in terms of feeling alone and losing the future that you thought that you had. It took me a long time to rediscover who I was as a person on my own, not as one half of a couple. This was not a journey that I wanted to undertake or had expected to. Little by little it became easier. I tried to find things that I would enjoy - theatre and cinema (on my own or with friends). I threw myself into a new hobby (mountain biking) which got me outside and fitter. I indulged myself and my sister in a business class trip to Singapore �. And as daft as it sounds I bought an expensive duvet and sheets � I wanted my bed to be a haven, a refuge �.my safe space. Gradually things started to feel a little better.. there was no single amazing day where I woke up and felt great�but I slowly started to come to terms with who I was and to start thinking about what I wanted. So, my advice, for what its worth, is to be kind to yourself, to indulge yourself and to start to try to find joy in small things - a bar of your favourite chocolate, a fancy spa day, a weekend break, a show, a walk on a beach, a chat with a friend, a long lie in with the Sunday papers � little by little and slowly, these small patches of joy will start to knit up together � and one day you will feel the scales tip a little more towards contentment than sorrow. Take your time - there is no fast forward button - but it WILL get better. Edited at 03:01 PM.