Dating when autistic or just dating in general

[Bianca]

Originally Posted by hexagon

Thank you.

Yeah maybe it wasn’t as stupid as I thought. Half the problem is I don’t realise what I said was stupid till later, then I ruminate over it...

See more...

Ahh, so you're analysing it all afterwards. ​I think we all do that, too.

Do you find you look for things to criticise yourself for -- you know, in a 'you find what you aim to find' way?

Maybe, you just need to be more understanding with yourself and remember that no one is perfect. and we don't need to be either.

Originally Posted by hexagon

...I do need to relax. I’ve only been at it this time around for 3 weeks so I definitely need to calm. I just get a bit impatient lol but also excited.

See more...

The funny thing about relaxing is, it can be harder to do if you try to hard at it! Sometimes, you have just to breathe - or even distract yourself - to relax.

It's good that you're excited, I would think. You have every reason to be.

Impatient maybe isn't helping you, though. (ALTHOUGH DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT! Beating yourself up about anything slows you down!)

You know that old saying, "More haste, less speed"? Slow your mind down a bit and, perhaps, try to live more in the moment. (Some kind Dibber can probably suggest a good online article about 'mindfulness' that would help.)

[hexagon]

Originally Posted by Bianca

Ahh, so you're analysing it all afterwards. ​I think we all do that, too.

Do you find you look for things to criticise yourself for -- you know, in a 'you find what you aim to find' way?

Maybe, you just need to be more understanding with yourself and remember that no one is perfect. and we don't need to be either.



The funny thing about relaxing is, it can be harder to do if you try to hard at it! Sometimes, you have just to breathe - or even distract yourself - to relax.

It's good that you're excited, I would think. You have every reason to be.

Impatient maybe isn't helping you, though. (ALTHOUGH DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT! Beating yourself up about anything slows you down!)

You know that old saying, "More haste, less speed"? Slow your mind down a bit and, perhaps, try to live more in the moment. (Some kind Dibber can probably suggest a good online article about 'mindfulness' that would help.)

See more...

Yeah I probably do look for things to criticise myself for. I can be quite a cynical person so often look for the bad in things.

Im very excited, I can’t wait to have someone special. I just need to practise relaxing a bit. Today was a better day I was distracted so hadn’t thought about dating apps at all and when I got back to them at the end of the day I had a match, woo. Will see how it goes, im not as desperate.

Thank you

[Bianca]

Originally Posted by hexagon

Yeah I probably do look for things to criticise myself for. I can be quite a cynical person so often look for the bad in things.

Im very excited, I can’t wait to have someone special. I just need to practise relaxing a bit. Today was a better day I was distracted so hadn’t thought about dating apps at all and when I got back to them at the end of the day I had a match, woo. Will see how it goes, im not as desperate.

Thank you

See more...

Take it easy and enjoy yourself.

[Loopylooloo]

Hex will you be watching’love on the spectrum’? About dating with autism, might be insightful, and shows you are not alone with your situation. Dating is hard for everyone I think, especially in todays world. Your photography would be a fantastic topic of conversation you are very talented!

[Helen1512]

Hi Hexagon
My son has autism and was also wanting to start dating. I contacted the dating agencies from undateables and they said as you know they don’t cover the north of England. But they did recommend the website Whispers4u. It’s a bit of a minefield out there with dating sites so it was great to get a recommendation. He was on the site a while and enjoyed just looking around and practising chatting online with people, even if they weren’t local to us. He said this gave him time to get to know how to chat, what sort of questions to ask and begin to work out the type of girl he liked. It seems a very safe site for people with all different kinds of disabilities. Who knows, even if you don’t find romance you may find friendships. My son eventually met a girl and had a great year long relationship with her. It didn’t work out long term but gave him a great first experience of dating. Good luck

[hexagon]

Originally Posted by Loopylooloo

Hex will you be watching’love on the spectrum’? About dating with autism, might be insightful, and shows you are not alone with your situation. Dating is hard for everyone I think, especially in todays world. Your photography would be a fantastic topic of conversation you are very talented!

See more...

I keep meaning to watch it but never quite get round to it. And thanks.

[hexagon]

Originally Posted by Helen1512

Hi Hexagon
My son has autism and was also wanting to start dating. I contacted the dating agencies from undateables and they said as you know they don’t cover the north of England. But they did recommend the website Whispers4u. It’s a bit of a minefield out there with dating sites so it was great to get a recommendation. He was on the site a while and enjoyed just looking around and practising chatting online with people, even if they weren’t local to us. He said this gave him time to get to know how to chat, what sort of questions to ask and begin to work out the type of girl he liked. It seems a very safe site for people with all different kinds of disabilities. Who knows, even if you don’t find romance you may find friendships. My son eventually met a girl and had a great year long relationship with her. It didn’t work out long term but gave him a great first experience of dating. Good luck

See more...

Thanks. And thanks for the recommendation. I haven’t used that site before but one of its sister sites. Which apparently means you are on all the sites. I haven’t had any luck on that site unfortunately. Most dating sites don’t have many people in my area, hence why I’m using dating apps but thanks.