So annoyed - Hidden Disability Lanyard

[TeeKayDawn]

Originally Posted by alkel2730

It is downright offensive, dismissive and smacks of someone with extremely little understanding or education of the condition.

I say this as a mother of a child with suspected autism and who has spent all afternoon on the phone to a team of therapists and specialists talking about coping mechanisms. I say this as a mother who went out and studied autism so now I have a qualification in the condition. I say this as a mother who is paying for private help for my child and working two jobs to do this. And I say this as a mother who despite all this still has a child who regularly meltsdown with sensory overload.

I do hope I misread it.

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I’m sorry but you have taken one element of my post to turn this into something it was not, and not intended and for that I apologise.

I have lots of understanding of the condition thank you.

The stress was so much the parents (different dad) split up as a result and father wasn’t interested.

Mum has only just found happiness with a partner in her 70s because partners post his dad couldn’t cope.

I also said coping mechanisms worked depending on severity which I thought would be clear enough to indicate it would not be helpful in ALL cases.

But then maybe as I have a lack of knowledge, I don’t have an understanding of the spectrum, ranging from mild (learning difficulties) through the behavioural with/without sensory through to the severe which was the mute I referred to originally - and as I said was the only accepted form of autism when my brother was young, therefore no diagnosis until his 40s!

[alkel2730]

Originally Posted by TeeKayDawn

I’m sorry but you have taken one element of my post to turn this into something it was not, and not intended and for that I apologise.

I have lots of understanding of the condition thank you.

The stress was so much the parents (different dad) split up as a result and father wasn’t interested.

Mum has only just found happiness with a partner in her 70s because partners post his dad couldn’t cope.

I also said coping mechanisms worked depending on severity which I thought would be clear enough to indicate it would not be helpful in ALL cases.

But then maybe as I have a lack of knowledge, I don’t have an understanding of the spectrum, ranging from mild (learning difficulties) through the behavioural with/without sensory through to the severe which was the mute I referred to originally - and as I said was the only accepted form of autism when my brother was young, therefore no diagnosis until his 40s!

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It’s for all the reasons here why things need to change. I’m sure your mum had countless judge-y eyes looking at her and assessing her ‘bad parenting’ when your brother had a meltdown, the confusion and pressure she felt knowing something wasn’t right but not having a clear path to help. The disagreements with her partner at the time due to the unrelenting worry about her child. The guilt, the worry over the future, the daily sharp learning curves, the weirdness of it all. The never ending judgement.

I completely agree with you, there isn’t one pot of disability labels that are passed out to everyone and when they’ve run out they’re gone. That’s what makes disability so complex I guess.

[gismo1554]

Originally Posted by Gill H

Sorry if I am being thick - I don’t have any personal experience of this. What do the lanyards achieve? I thought they were for those who needed a calmer environment (eg autism) or with something like Crohn’s where you might need to leave the queue to use the loo urgently. I didn’t realise they included those who might need mobility assistance too?

I have always prebooked mobility assistance on trains for my parents. My dad is 87 and can’t walk long distances or stand for a long time. He doesn’t normally use a chair or scooter. However, at the station he is met by a man driving a little buggy who takes him to the special waiting room, then to the train.

Is that not more helpful for the OP’s situation? I know airports do the same but you have to pre book.

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Just to answer your question, the lanyards are for any hidden disability and are just a way to make people aware you might need extra assistance. Booking the extra assistance is still the best way to ensure you get it. I am registered blind and use the lanyard as I have enough vision to get around on my own but often mis-steps and small things around my feet (and yes that includes children) so it at least lets people know I'm not just an ≈≈≈≈. Although I do use a white cane if its a busy area or a new area I still don't like using it 24/7 so especially at airports I find the lanyard is a great way to just flag I might need assistance.

Hopefully the original poster has made it safely to Orlando and has booked assistance for the return journey at least.

[Lemmonie]

Lanyards exist to promote consideration, explanation and understanding why someone who "looks normal" might be acting weird, moving slow, talking ≈≈≈≈≈, suddenly needing to sit down or rush to a loo or whatever else would be considered "abnormal" for the majority of us.

If you need special assistance like a wheelchair, help through security, boarding first/last, a buggy etc then you must still ask for it from the airport and from the airline.

No one NEEDs a lanyard for anything. So if you cant get one, dont fret just be sure to ask for the help you need and you will get it no problem at all.


as a side note, if anyone has ever actually taught their ASD kid a coping strategy that they themselves have witnessed the child using then please tell em the secret! hehe I cant teach my 11 year old ASD to brush his teeth every day let alone the 5 point scale or how to know he is anxious! lol

[nadya]

Originally Posted by Lemmonie

Lanyards exist to promote consideration, explanation and understanding why someone who "looks normal" might be acting weird, moving slow, talking ≈≈≈≈≈, suddenly needing to sit down or rush to a loo or whatever else would be considered "abnormal" for the majority of us.

If you need special assistance like a wheelchair, help through security, boarding first/last, a buggy etc then you must still ask for it from the airport and from the airline.

No one NEEDs a lanyard for anything. So if you cant get one, dont fret just be sure to ask for the help you need and you will get it no problem at all.


as a side note, if anyone has ever actually taught their ASD kid a coping strategy that they themselves have witnessed the child using then please tell em the secret! hehe I cant teach my 11 year old ASD to brush his teeth every day let alone the 5 point scale or how to know he is anxious! lol

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Yep the 5 point scale just went totally over my now 14 year olds head in fact he chewed it up literally and said that's how I feel!
! We have tried so many of these type of things and not found one that he uses yet so you are not alone.my 7 year old ds also with asd has had some success with the thrive programme at school although yes teeth brushing still a major issue for both despite angled brushes and flavourless toothpaste!

[speedwayfan]

Originally Posted by TeeKayDawn

Autism is a lifelong condition where coping mechanisms can be learned depending on severity. Unfortunately there are a lot of parents who allow children a 'meltdown' rather than working with the child to develop coping mechanisms to deal with certain situations.

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I think this paragraph was the problem with your post that upset some people.

As someone who has a DGS with Autism I have to be honest that it made me 'take a breath'.

I know that your whole post was meant to help and you have some sympathy and understanding and definitely didn't mean to be offensive.

However, I really feel the need to point out that the majority of parents don't 'allow' a meltdown but it is sometimes unavoidable. My DGS was diagnosed and statemented very early and we feel very lucky that this happened. However, even now at nearly 10 years old some things will trigger a meltdown that we never saw coming. Hindsight is a wonderful thing

To get back to the OP, I think in your circumstances that, even though a lanyard could have been helpful and avoid lengthy conversations with officials then it's not vital if you made the airline aware of your needs. Hopefully, as advised, you have done this for your return flight.

Jill

[Battery Chicken]

No real problem here imo. If someone needs a laynard they get it to help them out. If you have a disability and you need help you should get it in accordance with your needs.

Shouldn't be made into a debate over which disability deserves what. Surely all people in need should be helped.