Reveal ideas needed asd child

TC Devon · 24 Jun 19, 07:38 AM

Hello,We go next August. Split stay first five nights on site at pofq with ddp, then a villa and hopefully two nights at universal. The children will be 9 and almost 7. It’s our first time without my in-laws so just the four of us. It will be our third trip. The children know we will go back one day but don’t know we are going back next year. They think it’s years away. My daughters had a bad year with bullying and mental health. So this trip was booked when she was mid crisis and self harming. Bit of a spur of the moment booking. When your little 7 yo says she wants to kill herself you go into panic mood. We wanted to give her something to focus on. She is a lot better, attends a support group. School are helping and she’s doing good.

Wondering when to tell them and how to tell them. My daughter is autistic so telling her the night before would be a disaster. We’re also staying in a different villa (the one we had before was booked up) so lots of changes for her and us to factor in.

Any ideas how to tell them? When to tell them? Any thing I can buy to use in the reveal?

My sons all about super heroes and test track and daughter loves Harry Potter, not a big princess fan.

Many thanks 😀

davidh71 · 24 Jun 19, 08:00 AM

Hi, not sure this is what you are looking for but will give you my personal insight with our ASD children.

We don't make a bid deal out of it or do any sort of big reveal for them. We just tell them as soon as we book. Having been before as well we explain what will be different to previous years and regularly (from when we book until we go) go through anything that is likely to be different (different hotel, different plane / airport, new rides or restaurants etc) and show them pictures / videos where possible of anything that will be new so they know what to expect. This works for us (despite the holiday being a long way off when they are first told) and we keep a countdown when we get nearer to the holiday.

A big reveal would not work for us - making a big deal when the holiday is a long way off would just not make sense to them, but only giving them any sort of short notice would also cause problems.

Pretty much impossible to judge what will work best for other ASD children though!

Elodie · 24 Jun 19, 08:40 AM

If you’re wanting to do an actual reveal, but without causing anxiety or stress, could you do a treasure hunt that incorporates all the information your daughter will want / need to know about the trip?

You could tell the children that you’ve set up a treasure hunt to let them know all about their next holiday, and each clue leads to information about the holiday, eg one clue tells them where they’re going (you decide whether to put this one first), one clue tells them when they’re going, one clue tells them who is going, one says how you’ll get there, where you’ll stay, where you’ll visit, where you’ll eat, etc?

mooray27 · 24 Jun 19, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by Elodie

You could tell the children that you’ve set up a treasure hunt to let them know all about their next holiday, and each clue leads to information about the holiday, eg one clue tells them where they’re going (you decide whether to put this one first), one clue tells them when they’re going, one clue tells them who is going, one says how you’ll get there, where you’ll stay, where you’ll visit, where you’ll eat, etc?

I think that’s a good idea. It sounds like you’ve been before so maybe a few days or a couple of weeks would be enough?

I’d do it well in advance of the holiday if it’s your first trip, that way you can go on YouTube and watch Disney vlogs to get prepared for it. We told our 2 (including my ASD son who was 9 or 10 at the time) a few months before our first trip and it worked well for us.

They said they wanted a surprise if we ever went back so we didn’t tell them until the day we went to our airport hotel and even then I had a letter explaining everything we were doing with pictures of every stage.

I’m sure it will be lovely for her to share in your excitement before going away.

TC Devon · 24 Jun 19, 08:57 AM

They love treasure hunts. Incorporating what’s happening will work.
I think I’m going to need to do it before ADR day because I’m going to need their input on where to eat. Fussy children. Then it gives enough time to process and watch videos.
Sometimes I think something will go well and then it does nt or visa versa! She certainly keeps me on my toes

Nic18076 · 24 Jun 19, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by davidh71

Hi, not sure this is what you are looking for but will give you my personal insight with our ASD children.

We don't make a bid deal out of it or do any sort of big reveal for them. We just tell them as soon as we book. Having been before as well we explain what will be different to previous years and regularly (from when we book until we go) go through anything that is likely to be different (different hotel, different plane / airport, new rides or restaurants etc) and show them pictures / videos where possible of anything that will be new so they know what to expect. This works for us (despite the holiday being a long way off when they are first told) and we keep a countdown when we get nearer to the holiday.

A big reveal would not work for us - making a big deal when the holiday is a long way off would just not make sense to them, but only giving them any sort of short notice would also cause problems.

Pretty much impossible to judge what will work best for other ASD children though!

I would agree with this. I used to say things to my son like "when we go to xyx" etc and just casually bring it into the conversation rather than saying something like "hey guess what.." and then a reveal. I once forgot and surprised my son with the fact that we were getting a dog - complete disaster as he went completely crazy and was distraught. He doesn't like surprises, and nice surprises are almost worst because people are expecting him to be pleased, and all he feels is completely unsettled and at sea.

If your children are different and one would like a surprise but one really wouldn't then maybe you could tell them separately. Maybe your daughter might like to be part of the surprise for her sibling and you could tell her first in a low key way? If not then at least you would get to experience the joy of a surprise without unsettling your daughter?

I also found that giving my son a choice to make on receiving new information distracted him from the new situation, but also gave him a feeling of control in some way. I might say "we are going to Florida again, would you like to choose a new travel bag" or something similar. To be honest choosing a new book would have worked, or even which side of the car to sit for the journey.

I hope it goes brilliantly for you whatever you decide.

orlando10 · 24 Jun 19, 12:31 PM

Hi
I would consider a treasure hunt with a scrapbook at the end with pictures of everything, if you say the villa is different it might help to have the pictures of the new one, hotel etc.
Also have a look on here: (hope this is okay to post, mods please remove if not allowed)
themouseforless/disney-downloads/

there are some great free printables and a lovely travel journal that the children complete and it makes a great keepsake.

tinkerbelll · 24 Jun 19, 05:57 PM

My asd child hated the only reveal we have ever done. I put in so much effort and was gutted at the reaction. He is an organiser and thrives on choosing restaurants and hotels and all the planning and organising. I just told him once I had booked this time and he has researched more than me.

Only you know your child but mine would be a definite hater of a day before reveal. A treasure hunt might work but I would do this a few months in advance to allow them to prepare. Good luck

TC Devon · 24 Jun 19, 06:15 PM

It won’t be a complete surprise. I’ve been drip feeding things, she saw me looking at villas. I had two up so they ve seen pictures of villa and liked it. I ve watched a pofq vlog and made a big thing of ‘oh would nt it be lovely to stay here, look at the pool, it’s so fun.’

So I’ve been drip feeding things.

duchy · 24 Jun 19, 06:46 PM

My ASD cherub hated surprises good or bad so I'd drip feed , .
We'd start with ... going on holiday is a good idea decision
Then discuss where ... and when.
All discussions led by me but he was far more comfortable feeling he was part of the process rather than "we are going to Disney". "No I don't want to" which happened with his Dad not long after we split up. (He loved Disney but springing a holiday on him without me as a surprise wasn't the smartest idea... cue me having to talk him around AND calm down Ex )

24 Jun 19, 07:38 AM	#1
	24 Jun 19, 07:38 AM TC Devon Imagineer
TC Devon Imagineer Join Date: Aug 15	Reveal ideas needed asd child Hello,We go next August. Split stay first five nights on site at pofq with ddp, then a villa and hopefully two nights at universal. The children will be 9 and almost 7. It’s our first time without my in-laws so just the four of us. It will be our third trip. The children know we will go back one day but don’t know we are going back next year. They think it’s years away. My daughters had a bad year with bullying and mental health. So this trip was booked when she was mid crisis and self harming. Bit of a spur of the moment booking. When your little 7 yo says she wants to kill herself you go into panic mood. We wanted to give her something to focus on. She is a lot better, attends a support group. School are helping and she’s doing good. Wondering when to tell them and how to tell them. My daughter is autistic so telling her the night before would be a disaster. We’re also staying in a different villa (the one we had before was booked up) so lots of changes for her and us to factor in. Any ideas how to tell them? When to tell them? Any thing I can buy to use in the reveal? My sons all about super heroes and test track and daughter loves Harry Potter, not a big princess fan. Many thanks 😀

24 Jun 19, 08:00 AM	#2
	24 Jun 19, 08:00 AM davidh71 Trying for More Ears
davidh71 Trying for More Ears Join Date: Dec 14	Hi, not sure this is what you are looking for but will give you my personal insight with our ASD children. We don't make a bid deal out of it or do any sort of big reveal for them. We just tell them as soon as we book. Having been before as well we explain what will be different to previous years and regularly (from when we book until we go) go through anything that is likely to be different (different hotel, different plane / airport, new rides or restaurants etc) and show them pictures / videos where possible of anything that will be new so they know what to expect. This works for us (despite the holiday being a long way off when they are first told) and we keep a countdown when we get nearer to the holiday. A big reveal would not work for us - making a big deal when the holiday is a long way off would just not make sense to them, but only giving them any sort of short notice would also cause problems. Pretty much impossible to judge what will work best for other ASD children though!

24 Jun 19, 08:57 AM	#5
	24 Jun 19, 08:57 AM TC Devon Imagineer Thread Starter
TC Devon Thread Starter Imagineer Join Date: Aug 15	They love treasure hunts. Incorporating what’s happening will work. I think I’m going to need to do it before ADR day because I’m going to need their input on where to eat. Fussy children. Then it gives enough time to process and watch videos. Sometimes I think something will go well and then it does nt or visa versa! She certainly keeps me on my toes

24 Jun 19, 12:31 PM	#7
	24 Jun 19, 12:31 PM orlando10 Apprentice Imagineer
orlando10 Apprentice Imagineer Join Date: Jan 06	Hi I would consider a treasure hunt with a scrapbook at the end with pictures of everything, if you say the villa is different it might help to have the pictures of the new one, hotel etc. Also have a look on here: (hope this is okay to post, mods please remove if not allowed) themouseforless/disney-downloads/ there are some great free printables and a lovely travel journal that the children complete and it makes a great keepsake. __________________ WDW 2003, 2004,2005, 2006, 2007 x 2, 2008, 2009,2011,2013, 2017 NYC & WDW 2008, Disney Dream & WDW 2014. DLP 2016, 2018

24 Jun 19, 06:15 PM	#9
	24 Jun 19, 06:15 PM TC Devon Imagineer Thread Starter
TC Devon Thread Starter Imagineer Join Date: Aug 15	It won’t be a complete surprise. I’ve been drip feeding things, she saw me looking at villas. I had two up so they ve seen pictures of villa and liked it. I ve watched a pofq vlog and made a big thing of ‘oh would nt it be lovely to stay here, look at the pool, it’s so fun.’ So I’ve been drip feeding things.

24 Jun 19, 06:46 PM	#10
	24 Jun 19, 06:46 PM duchy Imagineer
duchy Imagineer Join Date: May 04 Location: Kent	My ASD cherub hated surprises good or bad so I'd drip feed , . We'd start with ... going on holiday is a good idea decision Then discuss where ... and when. All discussions led by me but he was far more comfortable feeling he was part of the process rather than "we are going to Disney". "No I don't want to" which happened with his Dad not long after we split up. (He loved Disney but springing a holiday on him without me as a surprise wasn't the smartest idea... cue me having to talk him around AND calm down Ex )