Notices
General Chat This forum is for general topics and chat type threads.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 24 Jan 20, 12:05 AM  
Link to this Post
#91
Jet
Imagineer
 
Jet's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 07
Originally Posted by Rebelrebel View Post
Scousers say "the Asda" ...
I don't 😁
Jet is offline Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 24 Jan 20, 12:18 AM  
Link to this Post
#92
Beth_Disney
Imagineer
 
Join Date: Nov 14
Location: West Midlands
“I’m going up the Asda” is a common phrase in the part of the West Midlands I’m from. Occasionally with Asda pronounced as “Asda’s”. My Nan had a broad Black Country accent and she’d say “I’m going up the Kwik” when she was going shopping at Kwik Save.
Beth_Disney is offline Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 24 Jan 20, 02:10 AM  
Link to this Post
#93
hibbie
Trainee Dibber
 
Join Date: Jun 15
I loved my job before I had kids and had thought about going back to work pt when I found out I was pregnant. My parents both worked full time and lived about 50 mins away, mil and fil were older and fil partially sighted so knew that childminder /nursery was only option for childcare. Decision was made easy though when we found out we were having twins and by me working we would be about £80 a month worse off than if I didn't work after all costs. I have now been a SAHM (I suppose a "housewife") for 9 years and have mostly enjoyed it and can't imagine any different. Again had planned on returning to work once the kids stayed school at 5 however ds was diagnosed with autism. Although in a mainstream school ds would never cope with before and after school childcare and mornings are a real struggle.. It takes 2 of us to get him ready and out to school! It's also always a constant fight with appointments, meetings, phonecalls etc etc. We are in the fortunate position where we can just afford for me to stay at home and it makes day to day life so much easier... we were older when we had the children, already had a fairly small mortgage and had both already worked about 35 years between us so had some savings. I am never bored, although I do sometimes miss adult company. I now volunteer 1.5 days in the school helping out running the library and library open evenings and helping in a specific class doing anything from group reading, general working with the children, baking, laminating and cutting, photocopying... Really whatever needs doing to make things easier. I love it and it's great to have the experience for when I finally retrain and return to work. It's also been good to be able to build up a rapport with the school which makes it easier to deal with any issues with ds.
It should be whatever suits each family... What suits us may not suit others and vice versa however what I can't stand is being put down for being a SAHM. I often hear about how I'm not giving back to society, I'm not paying tax, I'm not setting a good example of working hard to the children, I'm relying on my dh etc etc. Total rubbish dh wouldn't be paying as much tax if he couldn't work the hours around me be at home with the children, the children know how hard I worked in the past to get where we are today and how hard dh works, however they also know that we have to tighten our belt for me to stay at home and that money isn't the be all and end all, happiness is.

Edited at 02:12 AM.
hibbie is offline Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 24 Jan 20, 08:10 AM  
Link to this Post
#94
lexie32
Apprentice Imagineer
 
lexie32's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 05
I’m a “trad wife” but I didn’t set out to be one! I had a great job before having ds 15 years ago but our childcare options were limited so we took the decision for me to have a career break and be a stay at home mum. We looked at part time work for me but dh didn’t want me to work at weekends as that would limit our family time and he could earn 5 times per hour doing over time than I could doing an evening job so it seemed stupid for him to have to rush home for me to go out in the evenings.
When ds went to school full time I got a job working school hours but a week before I was due to start ds was rushed to hospital and diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. The head at his school,was particularly unhelpful and refused to have staff doing his injections at lunchtime therefore I spent the next year going into school at lunchtime to do them and also being on call if ever they tested him and his blood sugars were high ( luckily we lived just round the corner from the school) I also became pregnant with dd!
Luckily the head retired and on the new heads first day I went and asked if there was any way a member if staff could be trained as coming into a school to do ds’s injections with a baby every lunchtime was going to be very difficult. An hour later she phoned me to say she had 4 volunteers to be trained and to get the nurses in ASAP.
So now ds is 15 and dd is 9 and dh has been promoted several times and now a partner in his firm as he has been able to concentrate on his career, he’s never had to stay at home because one of the kids is sick or leave early to collect the kids from childcare or take them to an appointment.
My Dh is very thankful to me and says he wouldn’t be where he is now without me doing what I do. I do all the cleaning, tidying, washing, small diy jobs and decorating, ds’s hospital visits ( last years count was 22 as he’s also got problems with his eyes and digestive system) I arrange our social diary’s, holidays and any hotels or flights he needs for work trips. I do all the home paperwork and arrange for the boiler to be serviced and the guttered to be cleaned hedges to be trimmed etc. At home the only things dh does is iron his shirts ( I’m still rubbish at ironing&#128521 mow the lawn and he does like to cook at weekends as he’s a real foodie!
I’m never bored and quite often find there aren’t enough hours in the day so I’ve no idea how those of you that work with kids do it.
I no longer say I’m a stay at home mum as I’m fed up with people looking at me as if I have 2 heads and I say I work for my dh!
__________________
Jan 97 - May 03 - QIP, May 04 - Wyndham /HRH, Sept 05 - Windsor Palms, May 07 - Windsor Hills, May 08 - WiH/HRH, May09 - CP/ WL /Bradenton, May/June10 - CP/ YC/Bradenton May/June 11 P.E & Sunset Lakes, May/June 2012 YC/AKL, May/June 13 Sheraton ViV HRH &YC May 14 Sandpearl , Rennaisance SW & PBH, May 16 BC and Sandpearl, Oct 17 BC. Aug 19 Miami & Wilderness Lodge Aug 2020 Sandpearl Margaritaville & Hard Rock
lexie32 is offline Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 24 Jan 20, 09:52 AM  
Link to this Post
#95
Gill H
VIP Dibber
 
Join Date: Jan 08
Location: South Wales

theDIBB Guidebook
Guidebook Photos: 86
Guidebook Reviews: 24
I don't think being a stay at home mum/dad is necessarily the same thing as this TradWife fad. Lots of people do that, and if that's what works for you, great. I think the TradWife thing is as much to do with seeing your role as subservient to the man and only existing to serve his needs.

I would say that in any relationship, roles should be equal. What that means in practice - who goes out to work and for how long, who does most of the cooking, who looks after the money etc - are going to be different for every couple, depending on what works for them.

The idea of 'putting the other person's needs first' is written into the traditional wedding vows, and is a great basis for a relationship - but it works best if you both do that! When it's a one-sided thing ... not so good.
__________________
DLP: day trips 2000, 2003; Cheyenne Sep 2009, Feb 2011, Nov 2018; Sequoia Lodge June 2008, May 2012; Elysee May 2012, Jan 2013, Sep 2013; Disneyland Hotel Mar 2015, Santa Fe Nov 2016; Newport Bay Sep 2017, Ibis Sep 2019, Hotel NY Art of Marvel Nov 2021
WDW: Port Orleans Riverside Dec 10; SSR Nov 14
Gill H is online now Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 24 Jan 20, 09:55 AM  
Link to this Post
#96
SussexFamily
Thread Starter
Imagineer
 
Join Date: Jul 19
Location: Wessex
Originally Posted by Gill H View Post
I don't think being a stay at home mum/dad is necessarily the same thing as this TradWife fad. Lots of people do that, and if that's what works for you, great. I think the TradWife thing is as much to do with seeing your role as subservient to the man and only existing to serve his needs.

I would say that in any relationship, roles should be equal. What that means in practice - who goes out to work and for how long, who does most of the cooking, who looks after the money etc - are going to be different for every couple, depending on what works for them.

The idea of 'putting the other person's needs first' is written into the traditional wedding vows, and is a great basis for a relationship - but it works best if you both do that! When it's a one-sided thing ... not so good.
I think you are quite correct the two things are very different.
SussexFamily is offline Boy Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 24 Jan 20, 10:10 AM  
Link to this Post
#97
DisneyDaffodil
Imagineer
 
DisneyDaffodil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 15
Location: South Wales
Mobile

Originally Posted by Gill H View Post
I don't think being a stay at home mum/dad is necessarily the same thing as this TradWife fad. Lots of people do that, and if that's what works for you, great. I think the TradWife thing is as much to do with seeing your role as subservient to the man and only existing to serve his needs.

I would say that in any relationship, roles should be equal. What that means in practice - who goes out to work and for how long, who does most of the cooking, who looks after the money etc - are going to be different for every couple, depending on what works for them.

The idea of 'putting the other person's needs first' is written into the traditional wedding vows, and is a great basis for a relationship - but it works best if you both do that! When it's a one-sided thing ... not so good.
The other danger of this being looked at as some new fad is that all women who stay home will, yet again, be considered subservient and foolish. It’s the labelling that causes the problems.

I’m no longer a SAHM as our youngest is 19 and in uni. I’m also not a trad wife, as I’m not here to just please my husband and follow his orders. I’m just a wife and a mum who stays at home. It’s not weird, I’m not inferior to others (or superior), I’m not stupid or lazy, or controlled by anyone. However, I have often been made to feel I’m all of the list above due to the stereotyping of a SAHM or trad wife.
DisneyDaffodil is online now Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 24 Jan 20, 10:11 AM  
Link to this Post
#98
Emmie2016
Imagineer
 
Join Date: Apr 16
Originally Posted by Gill H View Post
I don't think being a stay at home mum/dad is necessarily the same thing as this TradWife fad. Lots of people do that, and if that's what works for you, great. I think the TradWife thing is as much to do with seeing your role as subservient to the man and only existing to serve his needs.

I would say that in any relationship, roles should be equal. What that means in practice - who goes out to work and for how long, who does most of the cooking, who looks after the money etc - are going to be different for every couple, depending on what works for them.

The idea of 'putting the other person's needs first' is written into the traditional wedding vows, and is a great basis for a relationship - but it works best if you both do that! When it's a one-sided thing ... not so good.
Yes I think this thread is turning into a stay at home versus working mum discussion. Trad wifes seem to be an extreme view on marriage. I'd hope most women on this thread were not treated like that or saw themselves as that.

Me and my husband our quite traditional even though we both work. I cook and clean and he handles the finances and dirty jobs. But if I ask him to do something then he would, I just prefer to do it. And I have access to all our money.

But I'm not subservient or below him in the relationship. We have equal roles and equal say in everything.
__________________
Back to the Mouse 2022!
Emmie2016 is offline Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 24 Jan 20, 10:15 AM  
Link to this Post
#99
SussexFamily
Thread Starter
Imagineer
 
Join Date: Jul 19
Location: Wessex
Originally Posted by Emmie2016 View Post
Yes I think this thread is turning into a stay at home versus working mum discussion. Trad wifes seem to be an extreme view on marriage. I'd hope most women on this thread were not treated like that or saw themselves as that.

Me and my husband our quite traditional even though we both work. I cook and clean and he handles the finances and dirty jobs. But if I ask him to do something then he would, I just prefer to do it. And I have access to all our money.

But I'm not subservient or below him in the relationship. We have equal roles and equal say in everything.
I think it’s representative of typical dibb threads as they tend to ebb and flood (tidal reference) into other areas. It’s even touched on the Royal Family earlier! Long may the randomness remain I say.
SussexFamily is offline Boy Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:21 PM.


Powered by vBulletin - Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
DIBB Savings
AttractionTickets.com

Get £10 off each Disney Ticket with the code ATDIBB10

Get up to £50 off per room at Disney or Universal with the code DIBBHOTELS


theDIBB Blog
One of the the five worlds found in Epic Universe, How to Train Your Dragon... Read More »
Disney announced that a new nighttime show, “Disney Dreams That Soar,” will run nightly at... Read More »
Walt Disney World Resort guests can get ready to have a “glowing’’ good time when... Read More »


theDIBB Menu


Exchange Rates
US Dollar Rates
ASDA  $1.2366
CaxtonFX  $1.2326
Covent Garden FX  $1.2540
FAIRFX  $1.2365
John Lewis  $1.2398
M&S  $1.2191
Sainsburys  $1.2357
TESCO  $1.2364
Travelex  $1.2361
Updated: 14:00 29/03/2024
Euro Rates
ASDA  €1.1445
CaxtonFX  €1.1415
Covent Garden FX  €1.1521
FAIRFX  €1.1468
John Lewis  €1.1477
M&S  €1.1289
Sainsburys  €1.1440
TESCO  €1.1445
Travelex  €1.1469
Updated: 14:00 29/03/2024

DIBB Premium Membership
Did you know you can help support theDIBB with Premium Membership?

Check out this link for more information and benefits, such as...

"No adverts on theDIBB Forums"

Upgrade Now



X