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Old 19 Oct 19, 02:39 PM  
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#81
janeg88
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Interesting seeing others viewpoints, it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, I’d take the call and either help or not help depending on circumstances. I think the emphasis on need to talk is merely a choice of words and not necessarily the true meaning.

I’m a teacher and recently spent 2hrs on a Sunday with the parent of one of my pupils helping, but I suppose that’s different as I knew the pupil so already had an interest
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Old 19 Oct 19, 09:26 PM  
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Princesa
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Originally Posted by janeg88 View Post
Interesting seeing others viewpoints, it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, I’d take the call and either help or not help depending on circumstances. I think the emphasis on need to talk is merely a choice of words and not necessarily the true meaning.

I’m a teacher and recently spent 2hrs on a Sunday with the parent of one of my pupils helping, but I suppose that’s different as I knew the pupil so already had an interest
Just out of interest, what did you spend two hours helping with? Tutoring?
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Old 20 Oct 19, 09:30 PM  
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#83
Gill635
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I work for an airline, and it amazes me the amount of people who will walk straight past me in the supermarket, yet then message me on social media to ask about discounts on flights! I don’t even know how they know where I work for some of them.

It’s gotten to the point where I just delete them of social media now. I’ve become quite ruthless with it to be honest.

I will offer discounts to my actual friends and family that I see and speak to, and actually spend time with. I’m not giving it to someone I worked with 20 years ago and haven’t spoken to since!

Like the OP, I never ask anyone to do anything for me for free that’s their job. My parents, brother and sister in law are the only ones I ever (and it’s extremely rarely) ask for favours, and in turn I do things for them
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Old 20 Oct 19, 09:40 PM  
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tspill
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I can't get over the widespread lack of willingness to hep others.
I must be old school where I was brought up to help others where I could. I am actually saddened by this thread. Is it any wonder "community" had died with everyone stuck in their own wee silos.
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Old 20 Oct 19, 10:36 PM  
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pompeyboy
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Originally Posted by skalexander View Post
I’m only 3 years and the novelty has worn off
My FIL fitted our front door, that’s his job, and I was there with the cheque book when he was packing up. He told me not to be daft and wouldn’t take anything, which is his prerogative, but even for someone I’m so close to I didn’t expect him to do his job for nothing. Might sound silly, but it’s something my parents instilled in me, that you don’t expect something for nothing.
So if your FIL needs a bit of legal advice will you give him "mates rates" or charge the full amount and maybe some out of hours fees?

Edited at 10:37 PM.
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Old 21 Oct 19, 08:18 AM  
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returnplanning
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I work in healthcare, so it's not uncommon to get asked for advice. In all honesty I don't let stuff like that bother me. If I don't want to give advice I don't (I tend to try to stick to explanations rather than advice, if you see what I mean).


People simply assume that you have a degree of closeness that doesn't exist. If you don't want to give advice, then simply say that you leave your job behind when you leave work, and you don't like to do work outside work hours, and move on. If you like, you can explain that as it's professional advice, there needs to be a record of it somewhere to protect both of you (this is the explanation I give when colleagues try and grab me for a "corridor consultation" - I always get them booked into the clinic, and generate a letter so it's all above board.

Advice from years of healthcare work...if you are going to get cross when people feel entitled, then you are going to spend a lot of your life cross. Be like Elsa and let it go.
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Old 21 Oct 19, 08:52 AM  
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Originally Posted by tspill View Post
I can't get over the widespread lack of willingness to hep others.
I must be old school where I was brought up to help others where I could. I am actually saddened by this thread. Is it any wonder "community" had died with everyone stuck in their own wee silos.
It was a random person unknown to the OP though, I think that has a bearing on the issue. I don’t think I would be raging, but I would be surprised at the cheekiness.

I am an accountant, I get asked things but not that often as I am a corporate accountant but I would be willing to help family or friends. If a stranger asked me for help I would not wish to for professional indemnity reasons.
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Old 21 Oct 19, 09:04 AM  
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skalexander
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Originally Posted by pompeyboy View Post
So if your FIL needs a bit of legal advice will you give him "mates rates" or charge the full amount and maybe some out of hours fees?
He recently needed something doing for a re-mortgage. He came into the office on a normal workday and I did it FOC. But that was my prerogative (and my director's prerogative), he didn't expect me to do it for nothing.

P.S. Never heard of lawyers charging out of hours fees.
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Old 21 Oct 19, 10:06 AM  
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Princesa
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I think people see a difference between jobs with physical goods and jobs that have training attached to them and then expect the latter to be discounted as they can’t see a value attached to it. I wouldn’t go in to Tesco and ask my friend on the till to give me a discount or free things get people seem to think they can ask for the labour or information part of jobs for free because they don’t see it costing the person, when that’s their job.
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Old 21 Oct 19, 10:18 AM  
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3disneykids
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Originally Posted by Princesa View Post
I think people see a difference between jobs with physical goods and jobs that have training attached to them and then expect the latter to be discounted as they can’t see a value attached to it. I wouldn’t go in to Tesco and ask my friend on the till to give me a discount or free things get people seem to think they can ask for the labour or information part of jobs for free because they don’t see it costing the person, when that’s their job.
You would be surprised... I was once working at the age of about 20 ( a good few years after leaving high school and a (high school teaching assistant who was assigned to a child in my class) came into the jewellery shop that I worked in. We knew each other by sight at best and she asked for a discount I gave it to her as well. Some people are just more expectant than others.
OP I think you did the right thing by getting your husband to tell him to contact you during work hours.
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