Guests for xmas is a buffet acceptable or am I being mean?

[mandco]

First things first I do not cook xmas day ever we have our xmas dinner xmas eve and then xmas day is a buffet. Now this year we have family who want to come to ours xmas day their choice I didn't invite them to come. I have no problem with them coming over but I have said I will not be doing a roast it will be a buffet which was not well received.I was told that as I'm having guests I should change my plans and cook them a roast as that is what they are expecting.
I did say I'm happy for them to come to us xmas eve instead for dinner if they want a roast but they don't want to to do that.
If we have guest any other day over xmas we do a buffet so is it really that mean to do so just because its xmas day itself?

I even said they were welcome to cook it themselves if they were really that bothered but you can imagine how that went down.

[Bazinga 39]

I know what I’d be telling them to do!

[show_the_magic]

Just do what you do and if they dont like it then they can go elsewhere or stay at home. Is there a Toby Carvery (or similar) that they can go to for dinner and then back to yours?
You've said they can be at yours and explained how you do Christmas, it is up to them what they decide to do now.

[Lindaelaine]

So they basically invited themselves and then are telling you what you should cook for them ? I would tell them to come over “ after “ they have had their Christmas dinner if the buffet you were going to do for them doesn’t appeal to them

[vampiress88]

I’m probably not the best person to comment as I don’t think I have the same ideals as most others. But here goes.

One. They invited themselves which is annoying on Christmas Day. I will ask family what they are doing and would you like to do xyz etc but don’t invite ourselves to anyone and generally haven’t liked people at ours in the past.

Two. I never think plans should be changed. I feel especially at Christmas everyone has a certain way of doing things. I have been too much of a people pleaser in the past that Christmas two years ago I was sat on my kids floor crying as I was too overwhelmed upset and cross at myself for people pleasing so no more.

I think whoever said you should do a roast is rude to be honest. You have said this is what I am doing and they are trying to change your tradition. In our house we have never had a buffet on Christmas dinner we do a roast as that’s how we want it. Same as we alway have dauphinois and salmon for Christmas Eve dinner, this is our tradition, our way. If anyone said to me no sorry but your having people so do a buffet I would say ok will not see you that day then sorry.

I think it was nice of you to say they are welcome to your buffet. Not sure I would have after inviting themselves

I feel really annoyed for you actually. (Hormones )

Insert angry face here (not this >>>&#128545

[taylaboo]

I know what I would be saying. Stick to your guns and do what you normally do. They could do themselves a roast at home and come to you in the afternoon.

[Gill H]

Your house, your rules.

My dad was a vicar so we always had a roast on Christmas Eve, then did the midnight service. On Christmas Day there were services at 8am and 11am and then we would drive 30 miles to my grandad. He did a ‘normal’ lunch, we watched the Queen and then we could open presents. There would have been no time for a roast.

In later years we have often gone to a nearby restaurant and had some superb meals that way.

[duchy]

In laws by any chance ?
I wouldn't change MY family traditions for visitors . If they come they get to share OUR Christmas , our way. If it isn't what they want , I won't be offended if they choose to go elsewhere.
What a nerve !

[dogken]

Well I love cooking and Christmas time is a fantastic time for eating when the family gets around.
But in your case it would be what does everyone want before the kebab shop closes and by the way get your wallet's out.
UNBELIEVABLE some people😠

[Smilesonfaces]

Cheeky rascals ! If they want to place an order I would suggest they book a restaurant. I’m not really into traditions but I wouldn’t have anyone telling me what to do in my own home.

Edited to say we have very little extended family so are rarely invited. If I were asked for Christmas lunch I would be more than happy with whatever I was given !