Issues with neighbour over dog

[mitch84]

We bought our house last spring, and after renovating it, moved in about a year ago. It’s a small dead end one sided street of terraces, say 12 small houses, and everyone knows each other. At that time, DH bought me a puppy. I work full time, but get up every morning to walk the dog for 45 mins before I leave for work (I built this up whilst he was small), and DH gets in from work at 2.15, the dog is therefore left from 8.30-2.15. He has access to the house, and to our high walled yard via a dog flap so he can have a wee etc. He’s a happy little thing, loves sleeping and never barks. We have horses so he’s out every afternoon playing for 2+ hours, so gets plenty of exercise.

Just after Christmas one of our neighbours asked DH if he could walk the dog during the day whilst we are at work. I was a bit hesitant, I’m not the biggest fan of this neighbour, he’s 80 and one of the nosy interfering know it all types, but DH persuaded me it would do no harm, the neighbour was lonely, the dog would get some company, blah blah blah, so he got him a key cut to our back gate, so he could come in and walk the dog.

This started off ok, he clearly loves the dog, and the dog loves him, and he gets extra company and exercise etc. We have an agreement with him that he’s allowed to see/walk the dog between 9.30am and 1.30pm Monday to Friday except public holidays. If the catch is on and the lead not out he’s not allowed to walk him. However over time this has become a bit of an issue.

I can’t get in and out of my car without him peering in the back to see if the dog is there, and if he is, making a fuss of him in the street for ages, if he isn’t, he follows me in the house to see the dog, despite having seen him only an hour before.
He is always walking in the house (now have to lock the door) or banging on the door to get in and see the dog, we have no peace.
If we decide not to open the front door, he goes round the back and lets himself in our yard. The dog of course runs out to see who is in the yard. If on a warm day and we have our back door open he wanders in the house and berates us for not opening the front door to him.
I started putting the catch on the back gate and putting the lead in the house if we are having a quiet afternoon/evening in with the dog, to which he stands on a chair, and unhooks the catch, and lets himself in, then berates us for ‘forgetting’ to leave the catch off.
He says the dog is always hungry (he’s a lab) so feeds him during the day, despite me asking him not to as I need to keep him trim as he has elbow dysplacia, he ignores me.
He comes random times and gets the dog, like 6.30pm on Tuesdays and I have to chase out and stop him as the dog comes down the farm with us on evenings.

This has been building for a few months now, DH is much more tolerant, but my blood boils. Until Sunday.

We were at a horse show on Sunday. We went down the farm with the dog first and he was playing with his dog friends and running around for ages before we left, we then took him to the show in the wagon and was walked around on lead for about 2 hours. We then went back to the farm to finish the horses off, and got home about 4. It was warm, and he was understandably pretty tired. DH and I decided to go swimming, so I left the dog in the house, with access to the yard with a frozen kong and cold water. The gate was locked and the lead in the house.

We got back after about 2 hours, and were accosted in the street, the neighbour started shouting at us for having left the dog alone, and how he didn’t appreciate the gate being locked. He admitted he had broken in, and taken the dog on 2 walks whilst we were out, with a bit of rope he had found because he didn’t think the dog should be left alone. Well I lost it, we were shouting at each other in the street and everything.

DH went out yesterday and fitted a massive bolt on the bottom half of the gate, with a heavy duty combination padlock. I just don’t know what to do. He’s already started telling the other neighbours we don’t look after the dog properly, hence he has to ‘step in’. I think if we stop him walking the dog full stop, he will make our lives very uncomfortable, and will be a shame for the dog. He is old, but he just won’t listen to us, so I don’t know what to do. More a vent really

[Do5-BaG]

My opinion, like most I would guess on here, He (neighbor) is completely in the wrong, not just a little but a lot, this isn't just down to the dog this is a clear invasion of privacy and in some cases from what you're saying is trespassing.

I would build a case against him, get videos of him entering / trying to enter your property/yard, potentially setup a security camera looking into the Yard, audio recordings of any discussions/arguments and keep a written diary/time line, the way he is going it sounds to me like he's trying to build a case against you or some type of vendetta, which I would imagine will eventually end in him contacting either the police / RSPCA and reporting you for something you've never one.

Important thing is to stay on your own level, don't stoop to any nastiness or dirty tactics, let him dig his own hole and if the time does come then you have a portfolio of evidence in your favor.

[Mackenzies03]

Right I’ve stopped being speechless enough to try and type... I would sit round his house (his comfort zone) and discuss what happened and why he thinks the dog is being mistreated. You need to be firm but kind and mostly need to explain that it is not his dog and breaking & entering is not acceptable. Your dog sounds like it is well looked after and in reality he is having a detrimental impact on the dogs health. Maybe some tough love and boundaries. Just think, if you’ve done nothing wrong and your dog looks well and is well loved then you have nothing to fear... I’d maybe consider some security cameras and a disguised for your dog when trying to get him out the car hahaha. Seriously though I hope this is easily sorted for you

[Minnie18]

Oh Dear 😳😪 I honestly don't know what to say except sending you hugs 💖

We have a neighbour who acted like that ( a tiny,tiny bit. nothing to the extent of your man) it was over him supplying us logs though and then when we got a new log supplier. The reason he was acting this way was due to dementia. We just ignored his actions remained calm and reminded him we were happy with our new supplier he eventually got on with his life.

[Mickeys Mrs]

Wow, it started of by sounding like the "little old man next door" was lonely and took great comfort in spending time with your dog. Turned into a nightmare with trespassing and quite frankly someone I wouldn't want near my home or dog.

I would sit down with him and calmly tell him that due to the trespassing and accusations that you do not take care of the dog that all agreements are null and void and he is no longer allowed to walk the dog or enter your yard/home. That whilst you appreciate the comfort the dog took from having daily walks with him that you no longer feel this is a safe and viable option as it has created an issue where boundaries have been crossed and although you have tried to express these issues previously they have seemingly fallen on deaf ears and it is a situation you are no longer prepared to put yourself or the dog in.

I would then put up a security camera at the front and rear of the property so if he chooses to ignore you then you have evidence if you need to take it further. I would start to write down times/dates etc in a book in case he does not listen and tries to gain access/remove your dog without your approval. I do think though that a clear and cut break from his is what you need, you have tired the softly approach and that didn't work now its time to be a bit tougher.

Your husband needs to be involved int this too, a united front to be shown so god forbid he cant drive a wedge between the two of you.

Good Luck and hope it calms down soon.

[FlorayG]

I think you should consider that this neighbour may be starting to suffer with age related dementia. This isn't 'normal' behaviour. Is there a social worker or similar who could go to see him?
If it is mental related no amount of 'speaking to him' will have any effect.

[novocastrian]

^^

wasnt going to say exactly this but has this man any family etc you could have a word with as none of this now seems normal or reasonable behaviour

[Floridatilly]

Originally Posted by FlorayG

I think you should consider that this neighbour may be starting to suffer with age related dementia. This isn't 'normal' behaviour. Is there a social worker or similar who could go to see him?
If it is mental related no amount of 'speaking to him' will have any effect.

See more...

This is my thoughts too.

I would be extremely worried about your neighbour.
Does he have family? Could you possibly talk to them? He certainly sounds confused. Have you spoken to other neighbours who have lived there longer? Maybe they know him better and could have gave a chat with him?

[RickT]

I would suggest he gets his own dog and focus on that if he's capable of ownership.

He sounds to of become obsessed and your dog has become his best freiend.


Advise him calmy it can't go on any longer but try and seek support from his family as the gent does sound like he may need some support /review to ensure all is well health wise.

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by Mickeys Mrs

Wow, it started of by sounding like the "little old man next door" was lonely and took great comfort in spending time with your dog. Turned into a nightmare with trespassing and quite frankly someone I wouldn't want near my home or dog.

I would sit down with him and calmly tell him that due to the trespassing and accusations that you do not take care of the dog that all agreements are null and void and he is no longer allowed to walk the dog or enter your yard/home. That whilst you appreciate the comfort the dog took from having daily walks with him that you no longer feel this is a safe and viable option as it has created an issue where boundaries have been crossed and although you have tried to express these issues previously they have seemingly fallen on deaf ears and it is a situation you are no longer prepared to put yourself or the dog in.

I would then put up a security camera at the front and rear of the property so if he chooses to ignore you then you have evidence if you need to take it further. I would start to write down times/dates etc in a book in case he does not listen and tries to gain access/remove your dog without your approval. I do think though that a clear and cut break from his is what you need, you have tired the softly approach and that didn't work now its time to be a bit tougher.

Your husband needs to be involved int this too, a united front to be shown so god forbid he cant drive a wedge between the two of you.

Good Luck and hope it calms down soon.

See more...

Honestly, yes that it how it did start, and whilst I wasn't 100% happy, the arrangement seemed to work in both the favour of the neighbour and the dog, and so I ran with it.

I really feel like we have no privacy now though, my heart sinks if I see this neighbour, our bathroom is downstairs and so we have to have all the doors locked and the curtains closed all the time like living in a cave.

DH wants to give him another chance, with us adding the extra security to the gate, and spelling out Mon-Friday 9.30-1.30 only, but I'm just not sure if its gone too far for that now. I'm quite introverted and find it all quite upsetting tbh

My dog is my baby daft as that sounds, we don't ever make plans without first thinking about/sorting the dog out or taking him with us, he's about as pampered as they come