Feel like i cant do this anymore

[jndt]

I really feel for you. My son has autism and it is hard work. My older children seemed to miss out on my time all the time.

What you have described sounds like PDA - have you joined any groups for parents of ASD/PDA children? I would try some of the strategies despite not having that diagnosis to see if it helps. Lots of the violence associated with PDA comes from extreme anxiety.

[Love*my*hols]

Is there a possibility of not sending him to school? They may take action if he is permanently absent?

[Buggles94]

Hi Sammi
Have sent you a DM. Some great advice on this thread... please know there is lots of support here and keep fighting for the best help for you and your family.
Take care

[Holiday time]

This all sounds so familiar. My nephew is autistic and went through all of the same behaviour and it was awful. No one was interested and basically my SIL was having a nervous breakdown. One day she went to the gp and said if they didn’t help she would bring my nephew to the practice and go and end herself. Only at that stage did they take any notice.

I’m not suggesting anything so extreme but please take videos, diary etc and then keep at your gp, son’s school etc. Don’t be strong in front of them be brutally honest. Only when they see you are at the end of your tether will they take any notice.

Also as someone else suggested try and find other parents in the same situation to you who can give you the support you need.

Good luck x

[nadya]

Sent you a pm,suffice to say I have an idea how this feels

[ClaireNJ]

Originally Posted by xXxSammi88xXx

Dont even know why i’m posting this on here. I guess i just need to let it out somewhere. I have a little boy,he’s only 7 and is my complete world along with his older sister. But he has autism and severe anxiety and its taking over our lives. Every day i spend 3 hours each morning trying to get him into school. He hates school and leaving the house and it sets his anxiety off.

This morning i managed to get him in just to play lego for an hour then i picked him up again at 11 as they said. We’ve come home and made cakes,had a nice hour then i asked him to walk the dog with me and all hell broke loose. He’s very violent and has punched my back,pulled my hair,tried to push me down the stairs. He’s kicked me in the stomach which is now really hurting.
This happens on a regular occasion. He’s been to paediatricians who said he wasn’t bad enough which led me to pay a fortune for a private appt to get his diagnosis. The children mental health team wont even see him as they also say he’s not bad enough. What does it take to get any help? For him to actually knock me out. He is getting no education because when he is in school for the odd hour he just plays games as not to stress him out.
His senco at school is currently helping me to get him an EHCP but even then thats not going to stop him beating me up or actually getting him into school. Once he goes into meltdown mode he gets super strength and i cant get away from him.

It feels like i’m living with domestic violence but i’m trapped as he’s my son and obviously i’m not going to leave him.
Every morning as soon as i wake up my stomach is in knots because i know i have to spend the next 3 hours trying to get him to do everything. Home schooling isn’t an option as he wont do the work. During lockdown he refused to do any work at all. If i push him to do anything i get beaten up.

I had to give up the job i love as it just takes up so much time trying to get him to do anything so working just isn’t possible. Its like a never ending nightmare that i cant get out of.
I cant imagine how he feels,feeling out of control and not knowing why. I feel so sorry for him.And also for my daughter as she sees me upset all the time i dont want her memories to be of a stressed out unhappy house. I just want life to be manageable again because at the moment i just feel like i’m drowning

See more...

I’m so sorry this is happening for you & your family, does your son go to a special needs school, not just a school with one to one, I take 2 autistic children to special school 9 & 10, the 9 year old girl is quite violent biting & hitting me & the parents, who are constantly fighting to get respite care to give them a break, is this available to you ?
Usually kids seem to like school as there is so much going on to keep them occupied, has he always not liked school or is it just recently.
The girl I have also has ADHD, is this something that your son might have, if it was me I’d try & get as much help as possible through the school, council & Autistic charity
Have you a social worker too
Good luck 😘😘xxx

[top4]

I'm so sorry your going through this ... it sounds very much like hes certainly in the wrong setting for schools and they cant meet his needs .Because he's so unhappy sadly its having an impact on his behaviour elsewhere... I had this with my so ,who's also ASD .Have you looked into getting a social worker ? ...I know in tje past there's been horror stories about them ,but when it comes to support with disabilities they are really useful in advising and getting help for both you and your son. No one should have to put up with violence even from our own children ,hes clearly communicating some kind of either need ? Or frustration over something ... look on Facebook theres lots of supports groups for ASD offering lots of coping strategies tjat ive found useful in the past...

[top4]

Also in absolute times of crisis they advice A&E so he can been assessed by the out if hours team who could hopefully put you in touch with more support ...

[Hels80]

Hi Sammi. I’m going to pm you. Xxx

[britishgirl]

This is so sad,how awful to wake up with your stomach churning at the thought of facing your child
I have no real advise but could you have cameras installed in your home to record your day,so professionals can see how he is at home it may help his treatment but they may be able to point you in the right direction in how to handle a situation so it doesnt escalate,even you watching them back on your own later may show you flash points that in the heat of the situation you have missed