Feel like i cant do this anymore

[captain-codeye]

Sorry to hear this, I can’t offer any advice on your sons condition but would like to offer some advice on something that lots of people in your families situation through no fault of their own sadly overlook.

You mentioned your daughter and briefly mentioned it’s affecting her, I have helped out with the sibling service in the past and they support siblings of children with various needs.

They can be found here

sibs.uk/

Well worth looking at, it’s so hard when so much time has to be devoted and they have some good advice to help.

I so hope you find the help you need.

[bronny]

Hi. My daughter has ASD with a PDA profile amongst other issues. She is also violent and it’s exhausting and anxiety based. I would recommend finding the SEND VCB project on Facebook. Yvonne who runs it is a wonderful Person with years of experience and you will find so much support. I also recommend the book The Explosive Child to read. None of these things will stop what is happening but they do help with giving you a lot of support. Also look at PEGS - child to parent abuse support page.

[MINI MOUSE]

So sorry to hear this . I went through this with my foster son for over 12 months ( not autistic but does have traits and also attachment disorder ) . He attacked me on a daily basis and I too used to actually feel sick on getting up in a morning at the thought of what was to come .
Buy the A to Z of therapeutic parenting book and although it won’t solve a lot of what you are dealing with it will give you strategies to help .
Hope things start to improve and you get the help you need x

[mandco]

I'm sorry your having such a rough time
I experienced the exact same thing with my youngest ds and it got so bad that eventually I decided to take him out of school as I couldn't take it anymore.
It was a hard decision and the thought of being stuck home with him 24/7 with no break really scared me but its turned out to be the best decision for us as his behaviour is so much better. He's sleeping better as he's not so anxious about having to go to school the next day and far calmer because he's not being forced to go to school which means less lashing out/meltdowns.
His behaviour can still be pretty challenging at times and home schooling is not easy but I no longer dread getting up in the mornings.

Do you have any support for yourself? parenting a child with asd is hard and draining and endless so its easy to overlook your own needs.

[Jakey Neverland]

Sorry I have not read through all the replies, have you spoke with Social Services? I know they have a stigma attached but in situations like this they can be worth their weight in gold in getting you some support, suggest parenting classes to give you coping mechanisms, day trips just general support.

My niece has Autism, she was diagnosed at 4 (12 now) and although I have never seen the physical lashing out I know she does at home. I just want to say in your situation you are 100% not alone, there are families in the exact same position with the same feelings. What you need is support and I would 100% take everything you can get, my sister does have to fight each year for support for her DD but it is worth it. Do not go through it alone though, reach out to your GP, speak to school and get them to listen to the fact you need support x

[duchy]

First a hug
I am so angry the school system is letting you down.
My son has Aspergers , at the same age he would get violent with anxiety but it was turned on himself, which if anything was worse.
I’m afraid being nice and reasonable doesn’t work, you have to shout loud and fight to get your son and your family the support he needs , it does exist but is in short supply so you get it if you are forceful and don’t keep quiet .
There are some great parent led support groups, most aren’t meeting face to face at the moment but will still operate on line. Local groups are often amazing resources for finding out what support other families are getting locally , LEAs often don’t tell you about resources unless you ask for something specific .
I know you are physically and emotionally drained but there is help and support out there, MIND website will list local groups that you could access .
Like the other parents (and teachers) who have posted I’m happy to offer support either on this post or by PM or otherwise , we are here for you , just reach out. We understand how isolating this all feels but you are not alone <hug>

[xXxSammi88xXx]

Thank you for everyone for your kind messages. He had another meltdown this morning but i have just managed to get him into school. I have a meeting with his senco and early help this afternoon. I think early help are the one step down from social services,i may be wrong. Hopefully they will offer some support.
I am on all the support groups on facebook which i go on a lot. Nice to know i’m not the only one going through this.
My husband has suggested him going down to part time hours to help me but this really would be a last resort. I’m now going to enjoy a few hours of peace while he’s in school before it all starts again later.

[Floridadreams]

Originally Posted by xXxSammi88xXx

Thank you for everyone for your kind messages. He had another meltdown this morning but i have just managed to get him into school. I have a meeting with his senco and early help this afternoon. I think early help are the one step down from social services,i may be wrong. Hopefully they will offer some support.
I am on all the support groups on facebook which i go on a lot. Nice to know i’m not the only one going through this.
My husband has suggested him going down to part time hours to help me but this really would be a last resort. I’m now going to enjoy a few hours of peace while he’s in school before it all starts again later.

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Good luck with the meeting x it seems terrible but in this case those that shout the loudest get the support. You definitely need help - fight for yourself and your son xxx

[Jan]

May be you would get more help if you were to tell your GP that you were on the edge of a nervous breakdown or similar?

[SupersleuthTed]

Hey Sam , so sorry to read this and I speak now from experience- I won’t go into too much detail but I have an ASD adopted daughter (14) who also has other issues and we too have had a fair few years of horrendous violence . In the end my partner came home from working in London and gave up her job to help support me and our daughter . It’s taken getting social services and CAmhs involved to get anywhere and they way we did that was by calling social services and speaking with the Child in need team and telling them (don’t hate me for this ) that if we didn’t get any help we would have to put our beloved daughter back into the care system .
We have suffered for nearly 9 years of constant violence , being expelled from junior school and we have echp and still were not getting any help .
You have to call social services yourself , you have to get them out to see you are not coping .
A friend told me the reason social services didn’t help before was because I cleaned the house and tidied up before they came as I was afraid they would think I was a bad parent ... the next time they came I was in a mess and so was the house .
You have to keep at them , keep ringing and if violence gets worse then call the police as they will file a report and social services have to get involved then .
Pm if you want to talk , don’t be alone here as it’s heartbreaking and scary doing it by yourself .