And When Did You Last See Your Father? - Tiny Fencer Update

[Guest]

Originally Posted by OB1LukeLucas

Oh April you have really been through it. I don't think I would be making Cobb salad for R.C if it's his favourite...in fact he wouldn't be getting the lickings of a dog in my house! I know us Brits are supposed to be all stiff upper lip but you most certainly could have done without all of this-but my slight soft spot for R.C (as I don't think he actually means it&#128556 was at least he did take a bit of time off work. I love that you have filled us in on the whole TF saga and I'm delighted Poot found all those fabulous fossils, it was lovely to read his thoughts too. I'm going to have to dash as I've been distracted by your update and I need to take the girls to get their haircut... we are going to be late!

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It has not been the easiest few weeks, that's for sure.

R.C. (as I think you know) just can't help himself - he always has to say "yes" to every favour. We've been married a long time, and I'm used to it by now. But NO, I didn't make the salad because it's his favourite - I made it because it's MY favourite. What's not to love? Stilton, Avocados - and

Poot did have an AMAZING time finding the fossils. He's been asking us to take him down there for YEARS - so he was a happy chappy - despite the attempted crab-smashing. He will also be gratified to hear that you appreciate his work.

Thanks so much for dropping in - hope the haircuts turned out well!

[Guest]

Originally Posted by HEMANCLOFTY

Bloomin Hell April - what a couple of months you have had.

You are a much better and stronger person than most of us, coping with all that and still entertaining TF.

Glad to hear that things aren't as bad as they could have been health-wise, but still scary and I hope that the migraines are controllable.

Take care
Ems X

PS! That Puppy photo at the end is fabulous 😀

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Someone complimented my photography?! Now I CAN die happy.


It has been a challenging couple of months - but I think considering the words being thrown at me back in June (bleeding brain and brain tumour both sounded BAD) - I'm feeling pretty lucky. We're all going to have SOME health issues to cope with in our lives - just got to get on with it. Plus you know how I feel about whining.

And none of this was TF's fault - in the end I just couldn't give him more "bad news". He was hard to read on the matter of the boarding school...obviously he wants to be loyal to his mother (and her decision) - which speaks well of him. But whenever I would try and draw him out a little about it (hoping to ease some of his fears) - he made it clear that it was the LAST thing he wanted to think or talk about. Poor kid.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Helen1512

Hi April
I've enjoyed reading your trip report form your recent trip to Orlando but never commented. Sorry
Just wanted to pass on my experience of migraine to you. My 18 year old son suffers from migraines. Luckily they are not very often. He knows when a migraine is coming on because the first symptoms he gets are half of his tongue goes numb which then spreads to half his face. His right arm then goes numb ( all the numbness symptoms are on the right side) and then the headache follows. It's very scary for him but after reassurances from his lovely GP he's learned to recognise the symptoms. As soon as he starts to feel the numbness he takes painkillers and lies very still in a dark room, this often works and if he catches it soon enough he can seem to escape the worst headache pain. I hope you get sorted, they are very scary symptoms. Hope that helps.

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I have to end up in A&E before you comment, Helen?!


Seriously, though - many thanks for sharing your DS' experience. It's so much harder, I think, for young lads to manage something like this. They are the ones who LEAST want to lie down in a dark room and rest. Whereas for me - that sometimes sounds like a dream come true!


I think the reason nobody thought "migraine" at the beginning for me is because in my case the headache came first - and the neuropathy was so extreme - and bilateral. I don't have any issues with light, either. Story of my life - "atypical".


It WAS scary - and I'm middle-aged! How much more difficult for kids, eh? Sending best wishes to your family -

[Guest]

Originally Posted by duchy

It might be he wasn't able to burn off energy/let off steam and the smashing was an outlet.
If he trains daily he probably really felt the difference.
That age they often can't recognise the need .
Ah well maybe you'll hear how he's getting along at school.

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Yes, I definitely think that was it.

Poot's an active kid - but TF needed WAY MORE physical activity. On the 30 minute walk back to the car from Stonehenge, he must have covered twice the ground that I did - just constantly running in circles and down and back. I remember a lad from my schooldays who was like that - eventually his folks took him down to the boxing gym - and that became a great outlet for all his energy. I wonder what happened to him...

I DO hope we hear what happens to him. I've had a thank-you letter from SGP in which she extended an invitation to us to visit them in Paris. We'll see!

[Guest]

Originally Posted by duchy

There's lots of different styles of boarding schools now . I get the feeling SGP might have felt more drawn to one that is a little more stereotypical though, in which case the poor kid probably won't know what hit him, especially with a language barrier too. I hope I'm wrong , my son's school took boarders too and it was very different (in a good way) to how I expected.
I do feel very sorry for him to be honest , he's still so very young.

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I do, too - and yes - he is.

But at the BBQ my neighbour told me (I never knew) that his three kids went off to board at age SIX! Granted, they spoke the language - but still...SIX!

I've deliberately not "looked into" the boarding school - as frankly I don't want to fret about this more than I already have. I am one of those people who feels responsible for everyone I know - and I just have to try and remind myself that I am NOT his mother. I did the best I could when he was here - and that will have to be enough.

[Guest]

I don't usually reply to messages on the board, as i'm not convinced I have a lot to offer, but in this case I can share a little.

I have migraines, completely out of the blue, no discernible triggers. They are usually one sided and my face goes numb like i've just been to the dentist, and it can last 24 hours or more. I have tried every over the counter medication and several proscription ones. The best thing I have found that works for me is a very strong espresso (Bleugh) and an ICE cold full fat coke, two paracetamols and a lie down.. don't ask me why it works, but it does! Its also relatively easy to get whilst out and about in an emergency.

I hope you feel better soon and I have loved reading your reports!

Viky

[Vikkicat]

hi April,
I've only just stumbled on your post.
I'd like to say your Poot sounds like a credit to you, he seems such a lovely boy.

It is so hard when you have a mild mannered one and TF who wants to smash things. I have a 10yo who i think is mild mannered and cannot understand why people are not always like him...

Loved your mini trippe about the fossil coast, looks like such a loveley area - may have do take mine there on October half term

as for the migraines, i get them, but never had numbness in my legs or feet, i think i'd be asking for a second opinion. i think you are 'round the corner' from where i live, have you contacted the rivers hospital in Sawbridgeworth as they have specialist Neuro people there? - got to love the Lister, i want there with MIL and FIL yesterday... just wanted to scrub myself clean when i got home

[Guest]

Originally Posted by collybird

I keep chuckling to myself wondering what on earth new GopherLass readers are thinking right now, reading out of context everything seems so far fetched and I howled over the flippant mention of 'Luminous Balls' in the recap.

What a scary health experience! Are they allowed to hypothesis that you have a bleed on the brain and scare you half to death!? Surely 'we're just going to do a scan and see if that sheds any light' is more tactful. You were very brave. I am so glad to hear the mass is benign, but very frustrated for you that you don't have real answers yet.

I hmmed over SGP's no television request. I have a Romanian who has worked with me for a few years now. He had only been in Scotland weeks before I hired him and knew very little English. He taught himself by watching English language films with Romanian subtitles. He is fluent now, and even understands British sarcasm enough to make jokes! Television would have done TF's English a lot of good, and perhaps distracted him enough that he didn't feel the need to attempt to destroy Roman walls. How can McDonalds be frowned upon, but destructive tendencies be allowed? I know boys will be boys, but TF is old enough to not need to be told you don't pull up flowers! If that's how he behaved in company what is he like at home?!

The fossil hunting sounds wonderful! I can't see how any child wouldn't find it fascinating! Very sad. It also made me sad that RC and Poot couldn't sit together at the Prom.

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I know, right? That's why I tried to scare people off at the beginning - and stuck the recap in there, too. I did *think about* editing out 'Ol Luminous Balls - I promise - but in the end I just left that all as I originally wrote it. We can only be who we are.


And it's my own fault that they were so frank with me at hospital. I am notorious for asking questions like "What are you looking for?" and "What is this most likely to be?" Plus it was good that I made sure that R.C. had our priest's phone number on his mobile.


Now I left this part out of the report...but since it's you...

The day we went fossil-hunting and to Lyme Regis, R.C. wanted to sleep for an hour before dinner (he really was banged up from his close encounters with the rocks). So I let the lads watch "The Lego Movie" (NOT telly ) on my laptop in their room. Because I wanted them to be nice and quiet while R.C. was resting (and not to disturb other guests, either). And SGP called my mobile - she called every night to check in on TF - and when I told her the boys were watching a movie, she was NOT best pleased. In the end I had to get a little bit shirty and explain that R.C. needed sleep - especially as he would have to make the stressful drive back to London the following day. It was...awkward. I TOTALLY get that she didn't want her kid just dumped in front of the TV - but I'm usually team "happy medium".

And your story reminds me of older folks I've met who learned English from Voice of America - or the BBC World Service (is that what it's called?). Bless your Romanian - I still can't make a joke in French (to be fair, though...neither can the French! ).


It's been a long time since I've met a child as physical as TF. He just had to be going ALL THE TIME. The smashing/flower thing annoyed me, though - as you say that was the kind of thing Poot learned not to do when he was a toddler. And the poor crab! I did have to laugh - since TF could clearly see I was cross about that - he made the effort to explain..."but we EAT crabs, non?"

"Are you going to eat THIS ONE?"

"Well..."


The Jurassic Coast was just AMAZING. I couldn't believe that despite the (LARGE) crowds all these fossils were just LYING there. Who would play video games or watch telly with THAT on their doorstep? Fab, fab, fab. We'll be back.


R.C. and Poot go to concerts a fair amount - they were both pretty sanguine about "10 Pieces". And at least THAT one was (relatively) cheap! Poot asked about "Harry Potter 2" with full symphony - I think that's on in April - and the good seats were Ł70. Each!

[Redrach1903]

Hi April!

Thanks for coming back to update us on all the shenanigans!

Sorry to see you were unwell. That must have been so scary (not to mention painful - needles in spine! ) getting all those tests! I'm very glad it turned out to be benign though

LF sounds like very hard work. You must have the patience of a saint! I definitely think R.C should have put a stop to it though. Massive deduction of husband points...

Confession time - I enjoy the occasional McDonald's. Please don't block me

Take care and keep us updated on the migraine situation! Xx

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Beanie1

Oh my goodness, what a time you've had. Glad they are doing blood tests. All the stress could have brought on the migraine. I think you need a holiday to get over it! Xxx

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Lol, our upcoming cruise is looking good right now!

Thanks for your good wishes -

Originally Posted by helenlovesdestr

Found this and that was my morning gone lol! We live 45 mins from Lyme Regis and ta so beautiful along that stretch of the coast. So glad that it doesn't appear to be anything serious in the end- and you are a saint by the way as no way would I look after someone else's kid for 2 weeks especially one I didn't know and didn't speak English! Hope DH appreciates you for the Wonder Woman that you are!

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So I'll just be printing this out and slipping it onto DH's desk...


Seriously, though - thanks for that. My DH is a prince, but - like all of us - he has his weaknesses. And one of them? He absolutely, positively CANNOT say no to his cousin. And in my humble opinion, she's a woman who could benefit from a "no" or two. Or ten.

You are so lucky living down in that part of the world. I'm grateful to be so near to London for the "big things" (we're going to the IAAF World Championships tomorrow - sitting in the cheap seats!) - but I have to imagine that everyday life is lovelier in Dorset!

Originally Posted by duchy

I'm sure he will be.
I guess I just couldn't imagine sending a nine year old away even just as a weekly boarder , let alone to another country.

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You know that I agree, wholeheartedly.

I'm sure TF will "achieve" a lot in his life - that's SGP's goal for him. I just see parenting rather differently.