What to ask the solicitor?

[TheDisneyCouple]

Booked in with a divorce solicitor later today. The average cost of an initial meeting in my area is £120 (no free half hours apparently) so i want to make the most of the meeting.

I'm going on my own so I'm making a list of questions. What should I have on there?

[skalexander]

What is it you're hoping to achieve from the meeting? Do you just want to know how to get a divorce or are you wanting advice on splitting your finances also?

I am a lawyer and often see people in the immediate aftermath of a marriage breakup, but they rarely know what they want from me, so it makes it difficult for me to help them. For a lot of people, it seems to be a knee-jerk reaction - "we've broken up, I need a lawyer" - but often they don't.

[Colette-S]

You need basic financial advice now so you know how things will work until a final agreement is reached. Take as much info as possible re earnings, value of property, pensions etc. First appointment is usually food for thought. Most decent solicitors will give some solid basic advice and then tell you to go home and think it over as once you start the process it's really hard to stop. If you intend to proceed you will need your marriage cert and forms of ID

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by skalexander

What is it you're hoping to achieve from the meeting? Do you just want to know how to get a divorce or are you wanting advice on splitting your finances also?

I am a lawyer and often see people in the immediate aftermath of a marriage breakup, but they rarely know what they want from me, so it makes it difficult for me to help them. For a lot of people, it seems to be a knee-jerk reaction - "we've broken up, I need a lawyer" - but often they don't.

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Yes both of those things. My OH was initially under the impression that he would simply get to keep everything as I cannot cover our extensive bills on my own and a lot of furniture was given as gifts to us from his family over the years. He has also held onto our dogs as he 'wants them more' but for the past two weeks has not walked them anywhere . I have yet to find somewhere to rent that will allow me to take my dogs so I want to ask my solicitor about that also. and finally, yes, I want to know how we actually go about it.

I'm also convinced, given his past and recent behaviour that he has met someone else. I don't have the evidence. He has new security measures on his phone and now carries it everywhere in his pocket (when he's not constantly texting - this behaviour is new). I only found out about the extra security when my Dad tried to ring me on his phone one day and I couldn't answer. Finger print recognition and everything! That was when he started carrying it everywhere with him. He even drove me back to work one day to collect my own phone at 11pm rather than let me borrow his to use as an alarm clock at 5am . I haven't made an issue of it or snooped. I just think it's out of character and secretive.

The breakdown was unexpected and sudden. He actually got his mother to tell me .

[skalexander]

Originally Posted by TheDisneyCouple

Yes both of those things. My OH was initially under the impression that he would simply get to keep everything as I cannot cover our extensive bills on my own and a lot of furniture was given as gifts to us from his family over the years. He has also held onto our dogs as he 'wants them more' but for the past two weeks has not walked them anywhere . I have yet to find somewhere to rent that will allow me to take my dogs so I want to ask my solicitor about that also. and finally, yes, I want to know how we actually go about it.

I'm also convinced, given his past and recent behaviour that he has met someone else. I don't have the evidence. He has new security measures on his phone and now carries it everywhere in his pocket (when he's not constantly texting - this behaviour is new). I only found out about the extra security when my Dad tried to ring me on his phone one day and I couldn't answer. Finger print recognition and everything! That was when he started carrying it everywhere with him. He even drove me back to work one day to collect my own phone at 11pm rather than let me borrow his to use as an alarm clock at 5am . I haven't made an issue of it or snooped. I just think it's out of character and secretive.

The breakdown was unexpected and sudden. He actually got his mother to tell me .

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Oh dear, what an awful thing to do getting his Mother to do his dirty work (and more fool her for doing it). I'm sure its very difficult for you just now, but you will be better off without him in the long run.

It sounds like you know exactly what you want to know, so just write it all down and work through the list.

The previous poster said about taking details of all financial things with you, and it certainly helps for the solicitor to know what assets there are, but I personally wouldn't give detailed advice on finances at a first consultation (and usually not without details of the other party's finances too) - I would just explain the general principles, but each case turns on its own facts.

[Bootrip2]

Sorry no advice, just wishing you well, and stay strong. X

[Cherrypie]

Good luck with it all - I think your suspicions are probably right, nobody just ends a marriage like that if there is nobody else and without any issues beforehand x

[Guest]

I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am that this has happened to you.

You deserve so much better so look forward to the day when better finds you. xxx

[Macca04]

No help with the solicitor I'm afraid, but I too want to say your suspicions are probably correct. Stay strong and don't let him walk all over you.

Good luck with everything and you know you can come on here for support.

[evergreen]

no advise but wanted to wish you luck