School situation

[AngelBunny123]

Just wanted a little advice on how I should approach this with the school. My daughter has been friends with another girl since starting school. Every so often I have had a message from the mum saying my daughter has been mean to hers. I hate confrontation so have always just said i would talk to my daughter. This mum has had run ins with other parents aswel and is quite aggresive. Last week it got a bit out of hand at school with the girls and I had multiple messages from the mum. Obviously I have spoken to my daughter about it all and I think it's both of them being mean to each other. Had a message last night and instead of taking it I decided to stand up for myself and daughter for once. Wasn't nasty just stated that I would prefer to sort this out with the school, think it is both of them and be best if they played with other people. Well she completely went off on one so I ignored further messages. Spoke to teacher this morning after she had a chat with the girls. The girls made up but teacher said they know about messages sent last night and she would like me and other mum to come for meeting to sort our differences! I really don't want to! I'm glad the girls have made up and hopefully that is dealt with but I don't see why I have to be friends with this mum when I have put up with her aggression for years. How can I say to this teacher thanks but no thanks without it coming across like I'm the problem?

[mason1]

Sounds like bullying/harassment on the part of the other mother. Not sure what the school hopes to achieve, but personally if it persists I'd be tempted to report it to the police.

[Cherrypie]

Not sure why school need to be involved in parent isdue? Just decline and say I'll not speak to her directly anymore I will just come through you (school). If she texts you then say the same. I've had this before and ended up coming down in my dd like a ton of bricks and it's probably just a kids squabble. When my dd said 'x said/did this to me' I didn't go to the other mum moaning. It's ridiculous x

[WhereIBelong]

Surely if you involved the school it was because you thought they may come up with some form of resolution.

You can't back off now just because you don't like their resolution, that would not be fair - and they, unfortunately, will think that the problem is not necessarily as one sided as painted.

[AngelBunny123]

I spoke to the school to find out exactly what was going on with the girls. This mum was texting me saying my daughter was a bully and her daughter didn't want to go to school because of her. I couldn't just ignore that and wanted to find out if it was one sided. Teacher confirmed it wasn't and I said I was happy the girls had seemed to make up. Then the teacher said about having a meeting to sort out our differences.

[Leanne1977]

Personally I would go to the meeting, if only to voice my opinion in a controlled environment. If this woman is aggressive I wouldn't put it past her to have a go at you in the playground in front of all the other mums and children.

[dismadbrit]

I would decline as it is between you and the mother, nothing to do with school, nor would I involve the police as there is nothing they can do unless she has threatened you?
Either block her number or meet for a chat and sort it out, agree that in future the school deal with it.

[dubletrub]

I would go and let the teacher mediate. Just state your case to the other mum saying that it is 6 of one and half a dozen of the other and as the girls make up on their own you don't think you or the other mum should get involved and you would prefer her not to text you anymore about them. If she has any complaints please direct them to the teacher.
School are probably worried about it spilling into the playground at pick up time.
When my DD was at primary 2 mum's kept bickering about their 2 children and one day it turned into handbags at dawn and some of us other mums and staff had to separate them !

[Megandllsmum]

Sounds like the other mum is acting like a child, over the years I've seen so many parents fall out in the schoolyard over kids falling out and near enough every time the kids are quickly friends again but the parents can't forgive and forget like children do.
I'm not one for confrontation either and I really don't get how school should be involved in sorting out parents issues with each other, they are there to educate our kids not the parents fallouts. I'd just say no thanks to the meeting, you can always explain you arnt comfortable with it privately to them I think they'll understand they probably arnt comfortable doing it either.

[Pjamas]

I think, for what it's worth, that this women will paint your daughter as a bully based on this situation and how you behave will be very important going forward. I would go to this meeting no matter how painful, you don't need to speak a lot, be the picture of calm mature parenting, let her show her true colours and allow yourself to rise above it all in full view of the school. Explain politely at the end despite mediation you would prefer contact concerning bullying goes through the school so she has nowhere to go with it. Tell your daughter to avoid this girl and not to give them any amunition - some people love the drama and you mustn't fuel the fire.