School situation

[Sandra & co]

I wouldnt go to the meeting, I would tell the teacher to sort the kids out at school and distance yourself from the mother. See if you can arrange for your daughter to play with other children. I have been in similar situation, my son was being naughty at nursery and hit a girlI didnt know, heard rumours as the school never said a word. I touched the girls mum shoulder to get her to turn round to ask her what was going on. She flew at me and started screaming abuse and someone told the headteacher I grabbed her! I Never grabbed her I would never do such a thing! It all calmed down after awhile and she moved away, my son now 21 and just graduated from uni and is lovely! My dd has also had trouble with other girsl when she was younger and I got the school to sort it, the teacher told me it wasnt her but the other girls, one kept pulling down my dds trousers! Sorry to write a novel and I hope you sort it x

[firsttimemouse]

I really don't understand why the school is getting involved in sorting out the parents differences. If the school have sorted things out between the children surely that should be it. I think if the school are insistent that they want to see you to discuss the children's behaviour then I would go but personally I wouldn't want them involved in a situation between two parents.

I think if it were me and this parent raised anything again I would tell her to go to the school directly. Parents can't be sure what's gone on as they're not there to see it.

[JellyEllieBean]

Personally, I think you should go, by dealing with it calmly and with the school as a mediator you are setting a very positive role model to your daughter. If the other woman starts to shout, she makes herself look silly. Between you, you might find some effective strategies to help both girls deal with their differences.

[Purplefrog]

I don't think I'd go. It's nothing to do with the school.
Politely decline and message the other Mum to request she deal directly with the school in future.
Could the school maybe separate them into different classes, so they do the have to see each other. ?

[CarolynU]

I'd definitely go as I think that this is an opportunity for the school to see you as a voice of reason and the other lady not so much! That will only strengthen anything that may happen in the future as they will know that any allegations are likely to be made rationally or irrationally depending upon where they originate.

[Island mamma]

Horrible situation. I'd be tempted to go along and tell the other Mother to start behaving like a grown up, parent her own child and under no circumstances to contact you directly again unless somebody was in real and immediate danger. But only if you can trust yourself to keep hold of your emotions, speak very quietly and present yourself as the most reasonable person in the room.

[macjaddie]

I'm surprised that school have time and energy to mediate between adults! I'm a TA and all the staff where I work are way too busy for that.

However, I would go along. Say your piece and ask that the Mom doesn't contact you directly about anything in the future.

To be fair, if you aren't friends then she should have gone to school first anyhow!

[Anne]

Originally Posted by CarolynU

I'd definitely go as I think that this is an opportunity for the school to see you as a voice of reason and the other lady not so much! That will only strengthen anything that may happen in the future as they will know that any allegations are likely to be made rationally or irrationally depending upon where they originate.

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Agree with Carolyn. In particular the bit I've put in bold.

[Princess Katie]

I'm a teacher and had this happen in my class last year!

In the end, I too invited the parents to come in and have a discussion together, with me (and the deputy head) there as mediators. I did not want to, and I certainly didn't have the time to waste, but these parents were getting more and more agitated with each other, sending texts and kept coming to me to complain about the other. I invited them in to make it clear exactly where we stood as a school and to try and make it better for the children - telling them basically to handle it maturely and let the kids be kids!
Both parents tried to see me each morning when they dropped off too and would then twist what had been said in order to make it look like the school was on their side. I found it much better to get both parents in and ensure the message was clear for everyone, no chance of it getting twisted.

Thankfully, the meeting worked and both parents calmed down, letting each other get on with it. The most important thing was the children and making sure they weren't suffering from it.

[EssexSue]

I would go because if you refuse and other mum agrees you are automatically on wrong foot if anything else happens. Also I could not bear to think they may have a meeting without me.