Bereavement supporting each other :)

[3disneykids]

I have been thinking about setting this up for a while.
From my personal experience recently I realise the pain never goes away.
The trigger you get when you see something your loved one would like to special occasions and them being missing.
I am thankful for support but am fed up fo people 'feeling sorry' for me... I am as guilty as others for saying this to those who have lost a family member or friend because what else do you say?
I just felt by starting this thread we would be able to vent on our bad days and celebrate our good days.
I want to remain as positive as possible but feel this will be a safe place for people to come and will know all the others have some sort of understanding for each others loss.
So if you are feeling Grief or loss or just want to share please feel welcome to post.

[3disneykids]

So I have had a difficult day today hence me finally deciding to start this group.
I was triggered when I saw one of Mums nurses in the playground and then saw a friend in the optician who I haven't seen since before I lost Mum.
Me and my sister went to Mums house today and had to go through 4 cases of Dads things... Its like I felt two lots of grief and my dad has been gone nearly 12 years...
I know life goes on but today was just a day where I needed to vent xx

[Taffy1959]

Originally Posted by 3disneykids

So I have had a difficult day today hence me finally deciding to start this group.
I was triggered when I saw one of Mums nurses in the playground and then saw a friend in the optician who I haven't seen since before I lost Mum.
Me and my sister went to Mums house today and had to go through 4 cases of Dads things... Its like I felt two lots of grief and my dad has been gone nearly 12 years...
I know life goes on but today was just a day where I needed to vent xx

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It’s so hard having to sort through your parents things.
When DH and I sorted my parents house out my mum had passed away 5 years before and my dad was in a care home.
We found my mums wedding dress which she had made herself and my dads wedding suit which she would’ve had a hand in making.
Mum worked as a tailoress in Browns of Chester which is where the suit was made.
I didn’t know they were in the house and it really upset me when we found them.

The only advice I can give you is to just take one day at a time and I promise it does get better, it takes time but you will get to a place where you can look back and smile more than cry.

[3disneykids]

Originally Posted by Taffy1959

It’s so hard having to sort through your parents things.
When DH and I sorted my parents house out my mum had passed away 5 years before and my dad was in a care home.
We found my mums wedding dress which she had made herself and my dads wedding suit which she would’ve had a hand in making.
Mum worked as a tailoress in Browns of Chester which is where the suit was made.
I didn’t know they were in the house and it really upset me when we found them.

The only advice I can give you is to just take one day at a time and I promise it does get better, it takes time but you will get to a place where you can look back and smile more than cry.

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Thank you and what a beautiful photo
I know that I will find a new normal eventually ...it is strange I guess I almost feel guilty that I am able to live life when they can't... my three gorgeous children help me to stay motivated and positive though

[nats1211]

I hope you don’t mind me joining in.

Today’s been a tough day for me, we had the inquest for my ex husband/father of my son today.
He died very suddenly aged 36 and the inquest revealed that he was hugely failed by the NHS in the events leading up to his death.

I feel like I need to start again with the processing and absolutely gutted.

[3disneykids]

Originally Posted by nats1211

I hope you don’t mind me joining in.

Today’s been a tough day for me, we had the inquest for my ex husband/father of my son today.
He died very suddenly aged 36 and the inquest revealed that he was hugely failed by the NHS in the events leading up to his death.

I feel like I need to start again with the processing and absolutely gutted.

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That is terrible ... it must be so hard processing the death of someone so young and having to support your son through it all.
I am glad that you have joined...the whole point is for us to be here for each other and try to work through these awful feelings...I guess it is just helpful to know others understand to some extent the feelings we are going through.
Your situation is traumatic learning that mistakes were made that shouldn't have will leave you distressed and wondering.
I think the grieving process is different and each storey individual but hopefully we can help each other get through this.
Sending love to you and your son xx

[nats1211]

Originally Posted by 3disneykids

That is terrible ... it must be so hard processing the death of someone so young and having to support your son through it all.
I am glad that you have joined...the whole point is for us to be here for each other and try to work through these awful feelings...I guess it is just helpful to know others understand to some extent the feelings we are going through.
Your situation is traumatic learning that mistakes were made that shouldn't have will leave you distressed and wondering.
I think the grieving process is different and each storey individual but hopefully we can help each other get through this.
Sending love to you and your son xx

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Thank you. I feel very numb today, despite us being divorced we got on and co parented well. Our son is 7 years old. My Dad died in an accident when I was a baby, my son is now coping with the loss of his Dad it just seems like life is unfair at the moment, as a family this is our second loss of life potentially due to the failures of different parts of the NHS within 4 years and I can’t help but think why us.

[3disneykids]

Originally Posted by nats1211

Thank you. I feel very numb today, despite us being divorced we got on and co parented well. Our son is 7 years old. My Dad died in an accident when I was a baby, my son is now coping with the loss of his Dad it just seems like life is unfair at the moment, as a family this is our second loss of life potentially due to the failures of different parts of the NHS within 4 years and I can’t help but think why us.

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I know and completely understand that feeling. Life seems to kick some people again and again my parents died aged 52 and 61 but my 3 of my grandparents made it past 80... It just doesn't make sense...
Life is unfair and certainly in your case unfortunately it has dished out way too much to you.
As for the NHS well my Dad was failed greatly but I couldn't be bothered arguing it at the time as I was due to give birth 6 weeks after he died and it wasn't going to bring him back but for this to happen to a 36-year-old feel so incredibly wrong.
It is also very sad that you lost your own father young and this must also be very triggering for you especially as you understand the complex feelings your son must be going through. It seems to me though that you must be a very strong person to have been able to succeed the way you have. I know it is going to be difficult to rebuild life.
Sending you lots of love ...and hoping that you stay strong xx

[PoohBears#1fan]

So sorry you’ve had a bad day. X

I’m already dreading the house sort out as it will be down to me & DH, as it’s a retirement village they’ll want it done quickly so they can sell it on.

The whole thing just sucks, many hugs to you all.

That’s a beautiful picture Taffy x

[PoohBears#1fan]

Originally Posted by nats1211

I hope you don’t mind me joining in.

Today’s been a tough day for me, we had the inquest for my ex husband/father of my son today.
He died very suddenly aged 36 and the inquest revealed that he was hugely failed by the NHS in the events leading up to his death.

I feel like I need to start again with the processing and absolutely gutted.

See more...

Absolutely sucks. I feel the NHS let my dad down also & was working in the same hospital that kept discharging him inappropriately, like you say though, there’s nothing that can bring them back.

Much love to you x