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Old 23 Sep 18, 08:33 PM  
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#21
fizzypop
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I have lost a good friend this afternoon to breast cancer. Relatively speaking, she was quite young - our children are the same sort of ages (Late teens). I am lucky to have not been in the situation before and I have absolutely no idea how I can help to support her family. I know her husband but not that well and our children are no longer that close, I have girls and she has boys so they drifted apart as the grew older. If you can, please can I have some ideas as to how to help without treading on their toes if you know what I mean x
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Old 23 Sep 18, 10:12 PM  
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Originally Posted by fizzypop View Post
I have lost a good friend this afternoon to breast cancer. Relatively speaking, she was quite young - our children are the same sort of ages (Late teens). I am lucky to have not been in the situation before and I have absolutely no idea how I can help to support her family. I know her husband but not that well and our children are no longer that close, I have girls and she has boys so they drifted apart as the grew older. If you can, please can I have some ideas as to how to help without treading on their toes if you know what I mean x
I am sure that anything you can do to help would be appreciated.
I think in this situation making a nice meal and taking it around would be a nice thing to do.
It is difficult as some people want people around them and some don't and the only way you will find out is by approaching them...If you are met with hostility it will not be personal it will just be grief.
It is hard to know what to do ...
I don't know what I want at the minute at my mum's memorial service I ran out as fast as possible leaving my poor sister behind but just couldn't stand people coming up to me. I react differently depending on my mood and how real it feels at the time. Just be understanding.
I am sorry for your loss xx

Edited at 10:42 PM.
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Old 23 Sep 18, 10:28 PM  
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I have already told everyone about my mum, everyone must be thinking oh no not her again. Not looking forward to Chritmas this year, always go to my mums for a massive spread boxing day. We are still doing it at mums house which is now my sisters. I did all my mums Christmas shopping, lots of things for my kids. I bought her special presents, made her hampers, cooked her a Cola ham. Last year my son worked at The Disney Store and he got her loads of princess decorations for her tree that she loved. This year we would of added some more and I bought my sister a Repunzel from Florida. I think their will be many tears this year!
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Old 23 Sep 18, 10:41 PM  
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Originally Posted by Sandra & co View Post
I have already told everyone about my mum, everyone must be thinking oh no not her again. Not looking forward to Chritmas this year, always go to my mums for a massive spread boxing day. We are still doing it at mums house which is now my sisters. I did all my mums Christmas shopping, lots of things for my kids. I bought her special presents, made her hampers, cooked her a Cola ham. Last year my son worked at The Disney Store and he got her loads of princess decorations for her tree that she loved. This year we would of added some more and I bought my sister a Repunzel from Florida. I think their will be many tears this year!
Hi , one of the main reasons I set this up is because of the interactions and understandings I have come across in your situation and PoohBears#1fans situation...I am very sorry that we have found ourselves in this situation to everyone who is partaking in this thread but find it helps me to know that we all handle things differently and that there is no normal in this situation.
The holidays are always the worst its when you notice the most as they should definitely be there with us. I think the fact that you are carrying on your Christmas tree decoration 'tradition' is lovely it is remembering her rather than trying to wipe out those memories from that day.
Sending you love xx
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Old 23 Sep 18, 10:48 PM  
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Originally Posted by 3disneykids View Post
I am sure that anything you can do to help would be appreciated.I think in this situation making a nice meal and taking it around would be a nice thing to do.
It is difficult as some people want people around them and some don't and the only way you will find out is by approaching them...If you are met with hostility it will not be personal it will just be grief.
It is hard to know what to do ...
I don't know what I want at the minute at my mum's memorial service I ran out as fast as possible leaving my poor sister behind but just couldn't stand people coming up to me. I react differently depending on my mood and how real it feels at the time. Just be understanding.
I am sorry for your loss xx
Thank you so much for your advice, it is very appreciated. I am sorry to read about your mum, I am sure people will have understood your reaction. I suppose none of us really know how to react, we just do what feels right to us at the time xx
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Old 25 Sep 18, 01:15 PM  
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Today is the start of a very difficult few days for our family.
Today is my mums birthday she would have been 90 today, I've been to the cemetery this morning and put some nice flowers out but it's not the same as seeing her.

5 years ago tomorrow we found out that the baby our daughter was expecting had died in the 33rd week of her pregnancy.
I can still remember the horrible sick feeling that come over me when I found out.
Our beautiful little grandson Harri was born on the 28th and our lives were shattered.

Our daughter has been here this morning and she looks dreadful I just wish there was something I could do to make things better.
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Old 25 Sep 18, 06:58 PM  
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Originally Posted by Taffy1959 View Post
Today is the start of a very difficult few days for our family.
Today is my mums birthday she would have been 90 today, I've been to the cemetery this morning and put some nice flowers out but it's not the same as seeing her.

5 years ago tomorrow we found out that the baby our daughter was expecting had died in the 33rd week of her pregnancy.
I can still remember the horrible sick feeling that come over me when I found out.
Our beautiful little grandson Harri was born on the 28th and our lives were shattered.

Our daughter has been here this morning and she looks dreadful I just wish there was something I could do to make things better.
Sending you and your daughter love.
What a difficult thing for your daughter to for your daughter to go through.
Whoever it is anyone has lost (your mum or the baby) I guess we all have that wonder of what they would be doing, what would they think of this situation. It is so difficult when you tie so many bad things to a certain time period. Try not to get too depressed I know it is difficult but also know the devastating feelings that can't be shaken off. xx
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Old 25 Sep 18, 07:37 PM  
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Originally Posted by 3disneykids View Post
Sending you and your daughter love.
What a difficult thing for your daughter to for your daughter to go through.
Whoever it is anyone has lost (your mum or the baby) I guess we all have that wonder of what they would be doing, what would they think of this situation. It is so difficult when you tie so many bad things to a certain time period. Try not to get too depressed I know it is difficult but also know the devastating feelings that can't be shaken off. xx
Thank you
I just feel so sad at what should have been, Harri should have started school this time and I can’t help wondering how he would be getting on.
We should be having a birthday party not putting flowers on his tiny grave.
I’ll always miss my mum but it’s different she’d been poorly for so long i could take some comfort knowing she wouldn’t be suffering anymore.
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Old 25 Sep 18, 08:35 PM  
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Originally Posted by Taffy1959 View Post
Thank you
I just feel so sad at what should have been, Harri should have started school this time and I can’t help wondering how he would be getting on.
We should be having a birthday party not putting flowers on his tiny grave.
I’ll always miss my mum but it’s different she’d been poorly for so long i could take some comfort knowing she wouldn’t be suffering anymore.
Yes, I get comfort that my mum is no longer suffering as much as it hurts me. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a baby. It feels so unfair to have a life snatched away before it even begins. I wish I could provide you with some insightful words of comfort but for you to have those feelings as a grandparent and a parent to your daughter I can only imagine how difficult it is for you all. He will always be part of your family though and this will never be forgotten.
Sending you love xx
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Old 2 Oct 18, 07:33 PM  
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Sorry just needed a moan. I have just boken down in front of my daughter's nurse.
My daughter had an infection and ended up in a and e . We have to stay in but have been transferred to the hospital my mum stayed in and I feel so sad and triggered. I wasn't at all expecting this and fell so upset..I know I have to get on with it but have such a gut wrenching feeling inside on top of the stress of my daughter having an infection. I just hope she gets better soon so we can leave but at the minute it could be a couple of nights :-(
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