Are we out of order?

[Cherrypie]

Just wondered what you all thought...
DH cousin got engaged at Christmas. They have set a date for July next year.
You guessed it we had earmarked to go to Florida for 3 weeks same day. We are going with my parents, my sis and family.
Now I know it sounds inflexible but we’ve had that date in mind for well over 18 months - eldest dd is getting her exam results so we have to be back - we have to go Friday or sat due to annual leave.
It’s not booked yet but we don’t want to change our plans. We know for the fact that the cousin wouldnt change plans for us - we maybe see them once a year but dh mum and auntie are very close. It’s been floated to auntie and she is upset.
Are we out of order? Please be honest x

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Cherrypie

Just wondered what you all thought...
DH cousin got engaged at Christmas. They have set a date for July next year.
You guessed it we had earmarked to go to Florida for 3 weeks same day. We are going with my parents, my sis and family.
Now I know it sounds inflexible but we’ve had that date in mind for well over 18 months - eldest dd is getting her exam results so we have to be back - we have to go Friday or sat due to annual leave.
It’s not booked yet but we don’t want to change our plans. We know for the fact that the cousin wouldnt change plans for us - we maybe see them once a year but she mum and auntie are very close. It’s bern floated to auntie and she is upset.
Are we out of order? Please be honest x

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I don't think you're out of order, you don't sound particularly close. Send a nice gift and enjoy your holidays.

I hate how much drama and guilt weddings cause, my aunty didn't come to my wedding due to me not hiring my cousin's husband as photographer. She died last week having not spoken to me for two years.

[Mr Tom Morrow]

Mmm. You see them once a year. They wouldn't even enter my thought process let alone influence my plans.
A Brother or Sister yes but not a Cousin.

[Megandllsmum]

Originally Posted by Cherrypie

Just wondered what you all thought...
DH cousin got engaged at Christmas. They have set a date for July next year.
You guessed it we had earmarked to go to Florida for 3 weeks same day. We are going with my parents, my sis and family.
Now I know it sounds inflexible but we’ve had that date in mind for well over 18 months - eldest dd is getting her exam results so we have to be back - we have to go Friday or sat due to annual leave.
It’s not booked yet but we don’t want to change our plans. We know for the fact that the cousin wouldnt change plans for us - we maybe see them once a year but dh mum and auntie are very close. It’s been floated to auntie and she is upset.
Are we out of order? Please be honest x

See more...

For a cousin you see once a year if your dates aren’t flexible stick to what you have planned, suggest a get together with the couple when you get back maybe

[Lell]

If you haven't already booked, I would rearrange

[Pjamas]

Personally I think I’d do exactly the same as you. I may deliberately vague with the details and tell them you were going on holiday that day - you know you haven’t booked but they don’t know that. I always resent the time and money spent attending the weddings of people I hardly know. This may upset mum and auntie but sometimes I think you have to put your own family first.

[Tigger71]

For cousins, I wouldnt change plans unless we were very close. For siblings yes. On the other hand - you havent booked - would going a day or two later be that bad? (if I understood it correctly their wedding day is the same as your departure date?) Or you and your family go first and your DH attends the wedding and joins a day or two later? (assuming you book diy?)

[littlelish0544]

If your going for three weeks, would it hurt to go a day or two later? I went to NY the day after my daughters wedding, it was no bother. If its not booked yet, I would just go after.

[mrs rcch]

I would send a nice card and a little present, and still go on my holiday.

[Bouncing Tigger]

I’m with Tom, I’d go on your holiday, you’re not that close to your cousin. It sounds as though you’ve already discussed and decided on your holiday date with your side of the family so, at the end of the day, you’re going to be letting somebody down.