Teenage Son

[EssexSue]

I wouldn't leave your daughter with him, sorry I would rather not go away. I don't think he can be trusted and although I agree he needs sorting out she is too young to be part of it.

[Sandra & co]

Originally Posted by EssexSue

I wouldn't leave your daughter with him, sorry I would rather not go away. I don't think he can be trusted and although I agree he needs sorting out she is too young to be part of it.

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I agree you go when things are sorted not when he’s still refusing, dd will suffer over this x

[lottiesmum0]

I wouldn't leave him with your DD. To play devils advocate I would also say that it is not unreasonable for him to say that he does not want to do it- after all she is your child not his! However his reason does come across as a bit selfish.
You said he has a summer job which is a positive- does this mean that he is also in Education and is seeing the summer as a chance to also have a break.]
I would see the issue of refusal to help around the house with chores as a seperate issue and would deal with it as so as he cannot expect not to help with jobs at his age.

[mitch84]

I too don’t think i’d leave your daughter with him, as he clearly doesn’t want to look after his sister and this would worry me as she’s little.
I’d give him 2 amounts, the first is a detailed calc or renting himself, print off one beds, give him an estimate of bills, food etc etc etc.

The next i’d give him a breakdown of your house bills inc food and everything divided by people. I would then ask him to pay this, but give him a months trial, in this time he needs to contribute to the house, if he doesn’t i’d be asking him to leave

[Taffy1959]

Originally Posted by Minnie18

Taffy1959 we have been there and done that. Last year the council put him in homeless accommodation and he stayed a month or so. He ended up moving back in. Maybe it's time to do it again.

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Don't let him come back we didn't let our son back home, it broke my heart to do it but I knew if we backed down he would just carry on behaving the way he was and we were both at breaking point.

[Mr Tom Morrow]

Wow! And I thought my Son was pushing a bit asking us to clean his oven!

The Ladies are better at these types of problems than me so I will leave it to them. Best of luck as it's hard when a child just wont play ball in the house and face up to their responsibilities or lack of. Hope you get a resolution.

[DisneyDaffodil]

Originally Posted by EssexSue

I wouldn't leave your daughter with him, sorry I would rather not go away. I don't think he can be trusted and although I agree he needs sorting out she is too young to be part of it.

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I do agree that I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving a seven year old with him if he point blank refuses. She shouldn’t suffer with him so maybe a night out at the moment isn’t practical. But I think the son needs to pull his weight. I feel he should be willing to help out though and not only with his sister. I meant Minnie should try to reason with him and if he refuses to be part of the family by helping occasionally then she should refuse to help him too.

[Minnie18]

Yeah I don't think its the best time to go away over night with ds watching dd. I've even tried putting a list of things to do on the fridge with him only having to do one thing a day and still he ignored it. My friend is going to watch dd tonight so me and dh can go to a hotel. think I will see my gp at some point tom or Friday about how I am feeling just now.

[Loopylooloo]

Feel better soon Minnie x

[MrsBC]

What does your husband say about it all?