The Disney Do Minus Two Tour 2012 - Day Fifteen - Home

[mkingdon]

Previously on this tour...

Premature Pretripulation
Day One - Travel
Day Two - Magic Kingdom
Day Three - Rest & MK
Day Four - Epcot & DTD
Day Five - Celebration & DHS
Day Six - Golf and Epcot with Dibbers
Day Seven - Typhoon Lagoon
Day Eight - Animal Kingdom
Day Nine - Mall, DTD and AMC
Day Ten - Hollywood Studios
Day Eleven - Disney Quest
Day Twelve - Daytona
Day Thirteen - My Birthday
Day Fourteen - Magic Kingdom

Day Fifteen - Sunday 2nd September

Right then, this may be over very quickly. Another symptom of the advancing years, but more so a symptom of losing my notes book with still one day to type up.

Ah no, the day is saved, I have just located it in the last place I looked. Isn’t that always the way?

It would appear that I was woken at 7am by the alarm. We were not flying until late afternoon so I can only imagine the alarm was set as we had done zero packing, and had to get it all done before being out of the villa at 10am.

As is the norm, I consider barricading myself in the villa, and refusing to leave both the building and the country. However, sense, and the fact that we have about forty dollars in cash left prevail, and we do the grown up thing and shove clothes into bags until we can’t find any more.

We couldn’t leave the US without one last visit to Wal-Mart, so I did that. My notes tell me I made that special trip for……a razor. I can’t imagine now why that was important enough for me to make a special trip, but it appears I did. I said an emotional and tearful goodbye to all the Wal-Mart staff that I had got to know so well over the past two weeks and headed back to the villa.

The mood was sombre, with nobody looking forward to the UK, and all the day to day nonsense it brings.

We didn’t leave until 10.15, but luckily Tricia, the villa owner, did not charge us for those extra fifteen minutes!

You may remember, earlier in the holiday, about four hundred years ago, we went to Hot Topic and we ordered a T shirt that Emily just had to have? Well, we hadn’t picked it up yet, so that is what we had to do today, as doing so tomorrow would prove quite tricky.

We got to the Florida Mall at 10.50, which was just the ten whole minutes before the placed opened. So we sat in the car until 11am and headed straight for….

I was over joyed to discover that this particular shop did not open until 12pm. This was an inconvenient pain, but more than that it scuppered our plans to have lunch at the Teak Neighbourhood Grill on the way to the airport. I had my heart set on another Donut Burger, but much to my heart and arteries delight, it would appear that this pesky T shirt was to prevent that.

We wandered the mall for an hour or so, with Louise buying some pants. That was the full extent of the retail wreckage thankfully, and after finally getting this bleeding T shirt, it was now after 12pm and more than officially time for lunch.

Denied my donut burger, instead we went to the Ruby Tuesday next to Hot Topic.

We intended to go out in style, and so started with an Asian Sampler Appetiser.

That was attacked as if no-one had eaten for the past two weeks, and we were very quickly onto our entrees.

Me – Asian Ribs (for my pleasure)

Rebecca – Chicken BLT

Emily – Classic Cheeseburger

Louise – Sirloin Peppered Steak

As much as in many ways I will be glad to put this trip report to bed, I am quite sad already that this is the last time I shall be detailing a meal in such a way!

The meal was $85 plus tip. We almost had to do the washing up, as I somehow dropped my credit card and last few dollars down the side of my seat, and had a few moments panic as I couldn’t retrieve it. It was a booth type seat, so it was the equivalent of fishing down the back of your couch for loose change. Finally, with a scratched arm and a knife I got it back and was able to pay for our last meal with legal tender rather than manual labour or sexual favours.

We left at 1.20, and it only took about fifteen minutes from there to get to the airport. I am always impressed by the speed of drop off for these hire cars. We pretty much left the vehicle whilst it was still in motion, rolling across the tarmac of the car park floor, as the attendant scanned the bar code, gave me a receipt and we were on our way.

Check in for the flight itself was amazingly easy. I expertly used one of those self-serve things. Apart from the odd unexpected item in the bagging area, it all went quite smoothly, and we proceeded through security without incident or internal cavity search.

We rode our last monorail of the holiday, and our spirits had not improved much since this morning as is evident here.

Neither of the girls will thank me for those photos, but the little smeggers can’t be bothered reading these things so it serves them right. If you are reading it now girls, no doubt in about ten years, get over it, I paid for everything so you have no reason to complain.

Once at the gate, and over the annual disappointment at the lack of amenities at said gate I nipped to the loo to get my big boy pants on, and the girls went to Starbucks. Yep, two weeks into the holiday, literally at the airport to go home and someone other than me queues up for something to buy!

My facial expression here reflects my resentment of needing long pants, my lack of joy at the return home and my horror and dismay at the full extent of my love handles.

I did get the odd funny look from the other passengers in the toilets doing this, but never mind.

Reunited with the females, we found a seat and enjoyed our sugary high fat treat, and we had a cake too.

We boarded our first flight on time.

The cabin was hot. No, make that equatorial rainforest type hot, and me with my long pants on too. Due to the seat configuration I had a stranger next to me, who frankly was out of his tree on something.

He was asleep before we pushed back from the gate and he drooled, snored and slept all the way to Atlanta on some sort of substance induced coma.

The flight itself, much to Louise’s delight and my hand’s regret (Louise’s nails doing it severe damage), was very bumpy and noisy.

When we finally touched down my sleeping neighbour awoke and then felt the need to talk to us.

He was actually a nice chap, but with a severe fear of flying so every time he flies he enters the plane on the wrong end of ridiculous amounts of alcohol and a near over dose of prescription medicine. He talked us though his pre-flight routine and it was a mixture of a long weekend with Oliver Reed and the most shocking elements of Russell Brand’s autobiography.

He was some sort of sportsman as he mentioned being the only one in his team with this fear. The shame was he had to fly about twice a week, every week, so he’ll be dead by the time he is forty from liver failure.

We disembarked at 5.50pm, restroomed, and caught another monorail (this one really would be the last unless Manchester had built one in the last 14 days) to Terminal E. Rebecca wanted some Sours for the flight, and this left me with roughly $1.70 in cash. That’s what I call budgeting!

We soon discovered that the flight to Manchester was delayed. We were sat back to back with the pilots for our flight so we spent most of the waiting time ear wigging their conversation about the reasons behind the delay. It turns that pilots know roughly as much as the passengers do!

The delay seemed to have been caused by someone putting an empty water bottle down one of the toilets, which had not surprisingly knackered the whole toilet system. The chances of 300+ people holding it until Manchester were slim so it needed sorting.

If I didn’t know better, I would have thought Paul (Wizzo) was the responsible party!

I honestly thought we wouldn’t be leaving that night, and was almost looking forward to an Atlanta hotel, squeezing another few US hours out of our trip.

Senses of humour were all but gone at this stage.

Finally, two hours later than scheduled we boarded. As the queue formed Emily and I rushed up to the McDonalds to get some food, knowing she wouldn’t touch anything on the flight. This meant we were pretty much the last to board.

Whether they fixed the loos or not, it seemed that someone had failed to spot the very obvious issue with the wings!

The flight was uneventful apart from the impending and increasing sense of horror as we drew ever nearer to Manchester and normality.

To soften the blow, Manchester very kindly had two staff on at immigration so that 300+ exhaustion riddled passengers could soak up the atmosphere of the UK at their leisure.

Cases collected quickly, I phoned the car bloke, who as if my magic pulled up just as we exited arrivals. Thankful that I no longer needed to tip him or anybody else, I grabbed the keys shoved the kids and cases in the back and headed for home.

We decided to call at the kennels on the way home to pick up Oli. “Of course there will be enough room” said Louise.

He was happy to see us of course and spent the last few miles home perched on Louise’s shoulder. I think my 107 is actually a tardis.

And so we were home. Another adventure done, more memories made.

It always seems unreal to imagine that the Magic Kingdom still exists and operates when we aren’t there, and I also struggle to rationalise that it and home can exist in the same universe, so different are they.

Here of course is where I tell you that I don’t think we’ll be going next year. You don’t believe me and I then book again next spring at the latest. So, in keeping with that tradition, I don’t think we will go next year. Financially we have other priorities, and Louise would need a lobotomy or total memory loss to allow us to go again.

If money were no issue, then I suspect a West Coast trip would be the choice, but alas money is an issue, and so we’ll wait and see if my balls drop in the intervening months. (I mean lottery not testicular).

The girls of course are growing up, and are pretty much adults in everything except financial contribution! Emily I think will never stop wanting to go to WDW. Indeed she wants to work there, and will apply to do so as soon as she is 18. Rebecca loves it too, but I think in the years approaching the draw of the types of holidays Dads dread for their daughters, in the likes of Faliraki and Magaluf will tempt her off the Disney track. Thinking about it, she’ll want to do both no doubt!

Whether they are four, fourteen and forty four, I hope we can all keep going together. Emily is the natural successor to my obsessive planner role in the family, and I look forward to her taking me in my old incontinent phase (probably next year!) to our magical place.

As familiar as it has become, over familiar in some ways, it will always be special to us, and whenever we do go again, and we surely will, if I close my eyes whilst watching Wishes or Reflections of Earth, I can still feel one of the girls sat on my shoulders at an earlier age, fascinated, enchanted and excited by what Disney do best.

It would look a bit odd for one of them to be on my shoulders now, and no doubt a serious health and safety risk too, but it is all about the memories, and we have a lot.

Thanks to everyone for reading, and waiting as it has taken a silly amount of time to get this one done. This might be the last one, as each one before it may have been too, so I extend my appreciation to everyone kind enough to leave lovely comments, and for those with nasty comments to not leave them too!

If you for any reason feel compelled to listen to me waffle on outside of these trip reports, I blog too. Just google mkingdon and you shall find your way. Plug over!

I was inundated with a request to finish this report with a song as I have done a few times in the past, so just for Carol, here you go. With apologies to Mr Sinatra…..oh, and by the way the prawn to which I refer is of course…

Till the next time…..

That’s life,
That’s what all you dibbers say
We wouldn’t be going this year but
It was planned by May
You knew that’s what we always do
We’re not going next year, is seldom true

That’s life
And this may sound strange
Our eating plans each night
Are the first to arrange
Those rides and shows are great it’s true
But nothing comes, before my food.

We saw a Poppins, a Peter, a Pirate, A Princess, A Prawn and a King
We ate steak and shrimp and burgers galore, we ate everything,
Just when you thought I’d grown my biggest every gut
A burger appeared between two donuts.

That’s life,
I tell ya, I can’t deny it,
We just can’t book again, my wallet just won’t buy it,
But if I didn’t think it was worth one single try,
I wouldn’t be sat here, still looking at flights

We saw a Poppins, a Peter, a Pirate, A Princess, A Prawn and a King
We went up and down and looped the loop, but I know one thing,
Each time that I think these trips are gonna end,
I find myself looking at Kayak again!

That’s life
That’s life and I can’t deny it,
Many times I’ve thought of Tenerife but the kids won’t buy it
But if there’s nothing booked come this here July,
I’m gonna roll myself up in a big ball and cry.
Bye…..Bye!

[P&S]

Thank you for another fantastic trip report

[jocat]

Another fantastic trippie completed, and finished with a song as well. It's been a while since we've had one!

Let's hope your balls do drop and we can all gather here again at the same time next year.

[ursula]

Last days are the saddest days, even when it is someone else's last day!

I am sure you will booking to go back soon. And just think of the wonderful discounts Emily will be able to get you when she does her year at Disney!

Until then maybe you should just re-read all your trip reports, to keep all those memories fresh? I have certainly enjoyed reading them all.

[RC22]

It always seems unreal to imagine that the Magic Kingdom still exists and operates when we aren’t there, and I also struggle to rationalise that it and home can exist in the same universe, so different are they.

See more...

This.

Thanks for the trippie Craig, has been a good 'un!

[janeway]

Thanks for sharing Craig

Enjoyed every minute as always

[JoJo88]

Awwww, it's all done again for another year (as none of us are under any illusion about when your next trip will be! ).

I welled up reading about you watching Wishes and feeling one of the girls upon your shoulders. That's nostalgia for you!

Hurrah for the return of a song - I do love a good parody and you inspired me to have a go a my own (parody, not necessarily a good one, i am but an amateur! (link below )

Wonderful report as ever

[Ariel princess]

I feel the pain of your last day! Great song, can't stop singing it in my head ad of course i will look forward to your next report because we all know there will be another one at some point xx

[Guest]

I've just sat and read the whole trippie...brilliant as always Craig...you have a knack of making me lol one minute and :'( the next. Your girls are so lucky to have these amazing memories in print to read to their kids someday.See you next year x

[Tiggernut]

Thanks for another fab trip report Craig. Your 'last days' always make me shed a tear... Although my DD is younger than your girls she is growing up so quickly and I too can see the days when she won't want to come with us on our trips.

Mind you I have her completely indoctrinated and, even though she's only 12 at the moment, she wants to go on the cultural exchange thing when she's old enough!

Looking forward to your next one...for there will be another, never fear!