World Mental Health Day

[Leyfy]

World mental health day. Always quite apt for me with the timing. I've posted on here a few times about losing my dad to suicide - 7 years ago tomorrow. The fall out completely blew apart my family and destroyed my mum (who was a late diagnosis, but very obviously bi polar all her life now we look back on it. She didn't get a formal diagnosis until her early 60s) who then succumbed to poor health four years later.

I've dealt with loss (including a very close friend aged 31 to cancer) but nothing prepared me for a loss through suicide.

All I can say is please, please talk to someone if you are feeling low. I know it's easy to say but there are plenty of people around my dad who feel that they could've helped if he'd opened up and spoken to someone about how he was feeling. (We had massive issues with his useless GP as well, but that is another story)

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by Moleymole

My problems with depression and anxiety have prevented me from reaching my full potential in life. It has robbed me of all my confidence and motivation, I fought it for many years but feel too exhausted to fight it anymore. My heart goes out to anyone suffering and waking up with that awful sinking sensation this morning.

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Moley, don't give up. If who you are seeing to help isn't working for you, ask to be seen by someone else who can help you more. And regret nothing

[Guest]

It doesn't help if your GP says if you need sleeping tablets you need to see a psychiatrist and that won't look good on your nursing records. I was too tired to say those records are sealed and have to have a special request to obtain them.
I was just burnt out after 12 years on ITU. I saw a woman GP in the group who gave me 3 weeks of Lorazepam and Nitrazepam (Yes it was that long ago!) I slept like a top! and moved to an Acute Medical ward with Bank work on ITU and CCU and was fine after but it was a nasty threat when I was at a low ebb.

[scottishmum]

Originally Posted by buryboy

I do think times are changing. I think most people now understand that it isn't as simple as "pull yourself together " .
The Princes are doing a great job in raising awareness but there is still a need for further investment in facilities / help availability

The comparison to cancer though is still an interesting one.
On another forum, someone made a " joke" about another person, comparing them to someone who had just escaped from the local mental health establishment.
I took offence, and explained how my daughter was in such a place. He was still " get you Mr sensitive, we all have our troubles in life " . Only when I challenged him to make a joke about someone with cancer, did he really think about it and apologise .

One more converted hopefully

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It really hurts doesn�t it, those �jokes� when it�s your child
Glad you made at least one person think about what he had said.

[Leyfy]

Originally Posted by scottishmum

It really hurts doesn�t it, those �jokes� when it�s your child
Glad you made at least one person think about what he had said.

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I�ve had the same on here a few years ago when someone told me I had �too much time� on my hands when I said I found a �mental patient� Halloween costume offensive. I asked for the thread to be locked but I really wish I�d defended myself now!

At the time my mum was an inpatient under section 3 after an actute bipolar episode brought on by dad�s suicide.

Change the word �mental� to any sort of other illness and then suddenly it�s okay that it�s offensive?!

[Doowop]

Originally Posted by firsttimemouse

I would also recommend speaking to the school and the senco. My dd 12 suffers with anxiety. She doesn't have panic attacks but does really stress about school and gets very depressed. It's horrible for her and it's draining for me and dh, particularly me as she needs a lot of support and is very clingy.

I found the school particularly useful. They helped me find a place on an evening course about dealing with children suffering from anxiety. They also had local counselling contacts and kept a close eye on her at school. I first made contact with them about two and a half years ago. She's now at secondary school and I end up speaking to the school support unit regularly. She is still anxious but it hasn't progressed into self harm which I was concerned was starting as she was scratching herself in the beginning. She also managed to go on a school residential trip which I didn't think she would manage.

The Camhs referrals locally to me take a long time and my dd wasn't severe enough that they could really help. That doesn't mean they won't be of benefit to you. I would just suggest looking at lots of options.

Feel free to message me if you want anymore info.

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I have tried to message you but it's not showing in my sent messages so don't know if you had it?

[StorybookCircus]

I feel the same as Moleymole to be honest. I have a degree but I work for minimum wage as a library assistant (the same thing I was doing at 16, I'm now 28) because it's (relatively) low stress. A 23 year old woman just joined my team and she's just started her PhD. That was always my plan: get a degree, get a masters, get a PhD. The anxiety I'd had since I was a pre-teen came to a head in my first and then my final year of uni and I became suicidal both times. It's been 7 years since I graduated and I still can't imagine going back into academia, even though I desperately want to become a qualified librarian. People at work, family, friends, all look at me and see wasted potential (I'm not imagining this, that phrase has been used more than once by tactless people!) and I can't do anything except tell them that I feel exactly the same. My partner is lovely but he's a very high achiever (has both a full time and a part time job, captains a sports team and organises the league, writes prize winning plays!) and I know he gets frustrated when I can't even wash up or iron my clothes or clean up after the cats. I know I'm just as intelligent as he is, but I'm nowhere near as capable. I'm in no way religious but I wish someone would grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change! Coming to terms with my limitations is a daily battle and honestly the hardest part of my illness.

[scottishmum]

Originally Posted by Leyfy

I�ve had the same on here a few years ago when someone told me I had �too much time� on my hands when I said I found a �mental patient� Halloween costume offensive. I asked for the thread to be locked but I really wish I�d defended myself now!

At the time my mum was an inpatient under section 3 after an actute bipolar episode brought on by dad�s suicide.

Change the word �mental� to any sort of other illness and then suddenly it�s okay that it�s offensive?!

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So sorry, your exactly right about that word.

[fl-veteran]

Originally Posted by StorybookCircus

I feel the same as Moleymole to be honest. I have a degree but I work for minimum wage as a library assistant (the same thing I was doing at 16, I'm now 28) because it's (relatively) low stress. A 23 year old woman just joined my team and she's just started her PhD. That was always my plan: get a degree, get a masters, get a PhD. The anxiety I'd had since I was a pre-teen came to a head in my first and then my final year of uni and I became suicidal both times. It's been 7 years since I graduated and I still can't imagine going back into academia, even though I desperately want to become a qualified librarian. People at work, family, friends, all look at me and see wasted potential (I'm not imagining this, that phrase has been used more than once by tactless people!) and I can't do anything except tell them that I feel exactly the same. My partner is lovely but he's a very high achiever (has both a full time and a part time job, captains a sports team and organises the league, writes prize winning plays!) and I know he gets frustrated when I can't even wash up or iron my clothes or clean up after the cats. I know I'm just as intelligent as he is, but I'm nowhere near as capable. I'm in no way religious but I wish someone would grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change! Coming to terms with my limitations is a daily battle and honestly the hardest part of my illness.

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Well, if I could point you to exhibit A (me). You sound exactly like me in my 20's. Substitute the library for a succession of low pay call centres and our stories are nearly identical.

Throughout my mid 20's I came to realise that I just couldn't cope. I would crumble the minute anything got tough. I was persuaded to get some help which I did in the form of cognitive therapy and medication and things gradually improved.

But then something suddenly changed, I seemed to reach a tipping point when I hit 30 (they don't call it the terrible 20's for nothing). The illness practically disappeared (I think due to the therapy, reflection and meds), my resilience improved massively, I started to feel confidence that I had never felt before. I felt able to change my job and take on some more education. My new job went well and they offered me a better one and a better one and a better one until I am where I am today, at the top of my profession with a good career and a good wage. If someone met the 25 year old me and then met me now they wouldn't believe it was the same person and I would say my personality has utterly transformed.

Fast forward 20 years to now and I'm having a very tough time due to a divorce. But where that sort of thing would have destroyed me back then, I have sought help and can already feel myself coping and bouncing back after only a couple of months of horrible anxiety and depression. I know that things aren't great for me now but they improve each week and I also know that ultimately I will thrive. Knowing that is the biggest weapon you can have in your "coping with anxiety and depression" arsenal.

You will not be the same person you are now forever, at least not if you don't want to be .

[firsttimemouse]

Originally Posted by Doowop

I have tried to message you but it's not showing in my sent messages so don't know if you had it?

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I can't see one in my inbox. I've just messaged you and I think it's sent ?