How did you know you were done?

[Andybear]

Originally Posted by ChrisS

Done? Never started, said at age 12 I didn't want kids [caused mirth], had beyond zero interest, I was born without a maternal bone. Best personal choice, after beating the Big C on three occasions my time has been my own, enjoy doing what, when, how I like. My older sister also decided no kids. People ask if we 'miss it', can't miss something you never had nor wanted.

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I'm so glad it's not just me who feels like this. I was 15 when I knew (I didn't make a conscious decision, I just knew). And likewise loads of people laughed, said I'd change my my mind etc but I never changed my mind and I've never once regretted it. So many people have said over the decades that I'd make a wonderful mum because I get on so well with other people's kids. But that's the thing - they're other people's - I play with them, talk to them etc but that's where it ends. My mother once said it's a woman's duty to provide grandchildren!

[MrsNobby]

I once asked this question to some midwives I worked with and was told Id know when I held my last baby.

1 lady had 1 child another 4 and I can honestly say they were right.

I ummed and ahhed about having a 3rd child. I put it off withh all the practical readons why I shouldnt but the feeling didnt go away so I now have a 10 year gap between 2 and 3 and the moment I held him in my arms I knew he was my last baby and our family was complete.

[daytonababe]

I have 2 who are 16 & 20, I wouldn't have minded a 3rd but my Dh wasn't keen then eventually he was put on medication which meant if we had another it was likely to have serious health issues.
And tbh with 2 we've had a good life 1 if not 2 trips to America each year, European holidays, weekends away, A 3rd child would have meant far less of what we enjoy because we would have had far less money.. But also time.. My two have been able to have pretty much all the attention they've ever needed / wanted.


I now have a 16 week old granddaughter who lives with us, and its lovely. We've been very fortunate that from the minute she was born we've spent a lot of time with her , but I don't have the 24/7 responsibility like when its your own.

[Nic1982]

I haven’t had chance to read all the replies but wanted to respond.

I always had my heart set on 3 but after a difficult pregnancy with DD2 we decided that was it. As time went on, it just didn’t feel right and I felt like our family was missing someone, the 3rd child I had always imagined. Therefore, we put the difficult pregnancy behind us and I got pregnant with number 3.

Unfortunately things haven’t been easy with him and we found out during the pregnancy that he was seriously ill. He was born very poorly and we nearly lost him several times. He had a kidney transplant back in June and is now doing really well. He has taken our lives in a very different direction and to a new level of craziness but I wouldn’t change him for the world, he was the person that our family was missing!

Good luck with your decision x

[RachaelC]

I had my DS 9 years ago and always knew I wanted another, but I didn’t feel the “need” to have my second until he was around 6.5.

Our DD was born at the beginning of this year and I knew that our family was complete. I love the age gap that we have between them and the lovely relationship that they have together. They are each other’s worlds and it’s amazing to see even with 8 years between them!

Originally Posted by daytonababe

I now have a 16 week old granddaughter who lives with us, and its lovely. We've been very fortunate that from the minute she was born we've spent a lot of time with her , but I don't have the 24/7 responsibility like when its your own.

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Congratulations! Some of my earliest DIBB memories include your posts about your family holidays when your children were much younger and so it makes it seem like time has gone so quickly now they’re adults (or very close).

[Chickens06]

It's something only you will know.
I always wanted 4 children, had 2 miscarriages then had my ds. Ex husband didn't want anymore but I did so we 'negotiated' as he put it on a second and along came dd. About 2 years later I mentioned having another and he made it very clear what I had to do if I got pregnant...so the next day he was booked in to see someone about a vasectomy and I knew our marriage was over.
Even now some 16 years on I still want another child but I'm too old now.
Your little one is quite tiny so give it a year or so and make theright decision