How do you react to openly racist pensioners?

[*jovi_girl*]

Do you tell them they shouldn’t be saying what they’re saying or just ignore it and hope they stop talking?

My situation yesterday was a little different because it’s at work and was one of my residents but she refused to eat any of her dinner because she was served by a Muslim lady.
I just wrote a report and reported it to my manager but can’t openly tell her off.

I hate racism in any form and the girl that was being spoken about was a lovely career. The resident doesn’t have dementia or anything and has made several racist comments in the past

[Megandllsmum]

I have worked in residential and nursing homes over the years and have come across this quite often. A lot of our bank nurses were often African and took a lot of abuse, and how they took it on the chin I don’t know, yes some patients had learning difficulties, some had dementia , some were just old and rude , if I heard it I would ask them to not talk like that and apologise, didn’t always work mind. I always logged incidents of any kind on handover reports. I’m going back a few years though since I worked in this environment... not sure I could return to it , so applaud you it’s hard bloody work.

[Labboy]

Dilemma indeed, you say they shouldn’t say that and they go off on one, don’t envy your situation. Sometimes the older people get the less they care what they say to others.

[WhereIBelong]

"That was not a very nice thing to do/say" goes a long way sometimes, especially if it is said every time.

One of my relatives is rather horrid, known rather unkindly by all as Anti (aunty) Different - cos she doesn't like different skin colour, different sexuality, different religion, different anything...

We never let it go un-noted, she doesn't like me at all.

edit to add - it is difficult in a work situation but if you don't say "you shouldn't say that", but stick to "that wasn't a nice thing..." to say/do, then it lets that person know that what they did was unkind.

[vowels]

"That's a pity. Your missing a lovely dinner served by the lovely ... "

Every meal possible served by this lady. I am sure her racist attitude will be silent when she is hungry.

[Ellelledee]

Originally Posted by WhereIBelong

"That was not a very nice thing to do/say" goes a long way sometimes, especially if it is said every time.

One of my relatives is rather horrid, known rather unkindly by all as Anti (aunty) Different - cos she doesn't like different skin colour, different sexuality, different religion, different anything...

We never let it go un-noted, she doesn't like me at all.

edit to add - it is difficult in a work situation but if you don't say "you shouldn't say that", but stick to "that wasn't a nice thing..." to say/do, then it lets that person know that what they did was unkind.

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My mum exactly! Well TBH both my parents but in particular my mum as she tries to say she isn't racist or whatever but then goes on. She is never particularly politically correct and likes to straight out share her opinion on ANYTHING and ANYONE and feel she has a right to.

On Friday I went for my weekly visit, and she got on about politics. Now, you aren't supposed to talk politics ANYWAY, but my mum knows absolutely zero about politics and has always voted for her my dad tells her to vote for, and personally I'm not overly clued up but know more than her!

So she starts on about the election etc but then gets on about voting and Tommy Robinson etc, and says how she wanted to vote for him because he speaks the truth - so I tell her no he is racist and causes trouble. She then goes on and on about him and how he is right and he was "arrested for nothing" so I end up arguing back with her and googling info for her to disprove everything she is spouting and she can't say anything!

So she changes tack and starts on about other stuff with the usual "they" and "a lot of them" I'm like "how many Asians/Muslims do you ACTUALLY KNOW AND SPEAK TO?"

She is just rude and ignorant and people wonder why I hate going to visit!

I agree with Labboy that I think they care less about what others think but I also think that they feel because they are older and the old "respect your elders" approach that they are allowed to say or do anything and people are wrong to question it! Grinds my gears!

[Omega1]

My father was a lovely guy, very respectful, courteous and didn’t have a bad word to say about anyone - until dementia seemed to trigger something. It was awful, some of the things he said to or about those who loved him, and he loved, we’re dreadful. The only way we could rationalise it was by thinking it wasn’t him speaking.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care less about what others thought - it simply wasn’t him.

[disney332]

I think when you have grown up in an age when things were different, interacting with adults born many years before you, say an average of 100 year span, it is a challenge to change enshrined views particularly with diminishing mental strength that sadly is often the case with elderly people.

Not impossible but very difficult and there is no easy answer to this conundrum.

Working with the elderly, you are more likely to encounter racist behaviour and this should perhaps be discussed at the initial job interview, with a ‘what if/how would you react’ question.

Disney332

[lizzie145]

The employer should be acting on this and speaking to the residents. An employee can make a complaint to the employer that they are being subjected to racism and could actually take them to an employment tribunal if nothing is addressed.

[cornishfrogboy]

I work in a Hospital and have frequent interaction with the elderly patients. Being in the Hospital Security team, I frequently get called to aggression displayed within the eldercare wards by those patients. We also interact with others on the wards as we seek to reassure them whilst dealing with the ‘job in hand’, often remaining beyond closure of the incident that we have responded to.

Within our hospital are a considerable number of Afro Caribbean, African and Asian Carers, Nurses and Doctors. Some of the comments made are dismissive, unpleasant and downright racist in nature. We also see numerous instances of Misogyny.

The generally accepted viewpoint of staff is that the time has passed when these people can be reasonably educated as to the hurt and anguish that such unpleasantness than cause. They come from a different, earlier generation where the likes of Jim Davidson, Bernard Manning and others were lauded for what would now be called totally unacceptable remarks. The staff are in my opinion, hardened to this, bear no grudge and simply remain professional. Some people simply know no better , were taught no different and in any case, have barely left Cornwall during their lives, having therefore seen few people of Ethnic Diversity, yet alone had to interact with them.

It was similar in my former career as a Police Officer (until retirement) . I was called some simply revolting things as a result of having simply been called by others to incidents of those unpleasant halfwits own making. I frequently dealt with ill educated, drunk, drugged, dullards and Martians, simply remaining professional and dealing with the job in hand.