LGBTQ - supporting a young teenager

[Hooby]

I should point out at the start that I am already a Dibb member but extended family members are aware of my usage of this forum and I want to protect my child’s privacy until she wishes to share her news. Hence the new login.

My 13 year old daughter has today told us she is gay. I’m so pleased she felt able to tell us - I know from some of my friends that this can be a big and difficult step for some. We’ve reassured her that we love her unconditionally and told her how proud we are that she feels able to tell us.

At first 13, to me, seemed quite young to know she’s gay, but then when I ask myself did I know I was heterosexual at 13 then I think the answer is probably yes!

My only concern is her happiness. As a parent I feel my job is to build her up and give her the confidence to believe in herself and be happy in life. I feel (perhaps unfairly, maybe things have changed) that for LGBTQ teens the road is inevitably a little bumpier due to other people’s prejudices.

Can I ask those Dibbers with LGBTQ children, or indeed those Dibbers who identify as LGBTQ themselves, if you have any top tips for supporting younger teens?

[Ds4ljs]

I’ve popped you a pm x

[marypoppins38]

I have no advice to give but just wanted to say I think you sound like a great parent. She must feel so happy and secure.

[Hooby]

Originally Posted by Ds4ljs

I’ve popped you a pm x

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Thank you so much x

[Hooby]

Originally Posted by marypoppins38

I have no advice to give but just wanted to say I think you sound like a great parent. She must feel so happy and secure.

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That’s very kind, thank you x

[DisneyDaffodil]

You are doing a great job as she felt she could come out to you and rely on your love and support.

I’ve always told my, now adult, children that sexual orientation wasn’t an issue to us. We just wanted them to be comfortable and happy with their life, and as long as they had a partner who treats them well and loves them then that’s fine by us. 2 out of 3 of our children are now in long term relationships and we get on extremely well with their partners, and I hope one day that our younger daughter finds her perfect partner too (she’s happily single at the moment)

You are, sadly, right that gay teenagers and young adults still suffer hostility and homophobia. My DD has a gay friend in a different uni city to her and she was walking out with her friend one day, not hand in hand etc but they did have rainbow lanyards on with their student ID card. Some male just came up to them and shouted homophobic comments and punched her friend in the face 😢 This was in daylight too. They weren’t seriously hurt, just shaken. It made both my DD and I feel very sad and sick to think someone felt they had a right to do such a thing 😢

[disney_l81]

My daughter is gay- she is 17. I just always let her know I'm here for her and as long as shes happy- I'm happy. Weve had some issues with mother in law, not being as supportive as we would have hoped but that aside most people we know have been accepting.

[Danex]

Originally Posted by marypoppins38

I have no advice to give but just wanted to say I think you sound like a great parent. She must feel so happy and secure.

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Agree with this, well done on having such a great relationship with your daughter that she was able to trust you enough to tell you.

Edited to add - I think times have changed a bit, but unfortunately they have a long way to go.

Both of my children are heterosexual, i would never have cared what their sexual orientation was but I wouldn’t have worried that life would have been just that but harder for them if they had been gay, that’s the only worry I would have had.

Sounds like your daughter has a great supporter in you and I’m sure that’ll make things a bit easier for her than some.

[Tinks2014]

Can give you no advice but it’s so good that she could tell you. This is how it should be. No one should have to hide who they are.
I wish you all the best .

[2point]

Keep talking and supporting, be open minded and let them develop their own minds while guiding them in positive ways.

Our daughter had conflicts with herself in her teens, we fully embraced her and made her feel that whatever path or choices she made we would support her. She has a boyfriend now but still keep abreast of the gender type issues and is very aware.