School advice!

[di5ney]

So yesterday my 6yr old dd came home from school with a stamper mark on the hood of her zipper (they have to wear zippers and leggings for pe). Dd told me a boy in her class came up to her and stamped her hood. This has left the black in stamp mark which i cannot fully get out. This particular child is autistic and has previous for this sort of thing. Dd told her teacher and apparently this boy got told off. I am annoyed that the school didnt have the courtesy to tell me and this incident was not reported to his mum either. Should the school have said something to either of us? I am friends with his mum but i just feel as though he needs to be watched more which his mum agrees with. His mum was lovely too and did offer to replace it which i have declined. I know its nothing major but when he did badly hurt her last year they didnt tell me either!

[ely3857]

Sounds to me like it was dealt with in school. Dragging incidents out doesn’t do either child any favours. Plenty of things happen all the time and I’d much rather they were dealt with promptly than staff spending time constantly updating parents on every event.

If your child was badly hurt then that’s different and you should have been made aware.

[RM2016]

If you weren’t told then I suspect it’s because the school didn’t rate it as a major issue. Over the course of the day in that age group there will be many minor incidents that are dealt with in house, a judgement call was made and it was dealt with at the time. I would never have time to teach if I telephoned a parent over something so trivial. As a parent I would not bat an eyelid if my 4 year old P1 came home with ink on an item of clothing and I would not feel it was worth mentioning to the other parent if I knew them.

[jndt]

As the parent of an autistic child I don't say this with malice but some children aren't suited to mainstream. I'm sure the school are watching him but I would mention it to staff incase they are unaware. It will help them build a bigger picture of his needs and what they can do to meet them.

[di5ney]

Thanks, this is basically the same thing his mum is saying too, she agrees he has to be watched more. Apparently yday he was also tearing the other kids school work and putting toys in the bin etc. Its a shame for him and the rest of the class

[jndt]

Originally Posted by RM2016

If you weren’t told then I suspect it’s because the school didn’t rate it as a major issue. Over the course of the day in that age group there will be many minor incidents that are dealt with in house, a judgement call was made and it was dealt with at the time. I would never have time to teach if I telephoned a parent over something so trivial. As a parent I would not bat an eyelid if my 4 year old P1 came home with ink on an item of clothing and I would not feel it was worth mentioning to the other parent if I knew them.

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I wouldn't have expected a phone call but would have expected it to be mentioned when picking up from school. Damaging clothes (which op says the child has done before) and hurt other children are not trivial to me.

[munmun]

Honestly I think you are over thinking this, your child was not in any danger and it appears they have dealt with this internally.

I dont think they need to speak with you or the other child parent. If they did this with every small issue they would do no teaching and simply manage behavior.

I'm not sure why you spoke with the other child parent, they probably have enough stress to deal with.

Dont over parent, your 6 year old has manage to talk to you about this, it appears no one was hurt and a mistake was made.

[RM2016]

Originally Posted by jdndt

I wouldn't have expected a phone call but would have expected it to be mentioned when picking up from school. Damaging clothes (which op says the child has done before) and hurt other children are not trivial to me.

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If a child is hurt there are procedures the school must follow so that is a serious allegation if the op is claiming these were not adhered to but the purpose of this post is an item of clothing in an infant age group getting a mark on it. How do we know the child did this intentionally? Any child at that age is capable of doing something silly and without thinking and it seems the teacher dealt with it at the time.

[hermione25]

Originally Posted by jdndt

I wouldn't have expected a phone call but would have expected it to be mentioned when picking up from school. Damaging clothes (which op says the child has done before) and hurt other children are not trivial to me.

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Just to add, I don’t know the arrangements at this particular school, but we are now not able to speak to parents face to face at the end of the day. We wait with the child and as their parent comes through the gate they go to them and exit via a different gate in a one way system.

In the past there may have been small things like this I might have mentioned to parents at pick up, but now not would necessarily felt it important enough to email a parent about - especially if it had been dealt with.

To be honest I’m far too busy adapting resources so they are editable, ready to spend an hour after school each day uploading every lesson I’ve planned and resourced for the next day, onto google classroom for children who might be isolating. (Not that 95% of them bother but that’s another story).

Then I lug all my files, resources and computer home, every night, just in case I get a call that night to tell me I need to isolate for 2 weeks and have to teach remotely from my home, directly into the homes of 30 children, whilst getting constant email queries from parents.

All this while being in school, unable to go into anyone else’s classroom, only able to use the staff room to make a drink, not actually sit down, having children in half an hour earlier to accommodate siblings and staggered starts, kids eating lunch in your classroom, while I eat mine, doing your own playground duty with your own class in a section of the playground away from others. Masks on everywhere, including the playground, except your own classroom. School is not just stressful but actually quite a lonely place to be. Even staff meetings are done by video link while staff sit alone in their own classroom. It’s a pretty stressful existence atm.

I think what I’m saying is sometimes you have to think of the big picture and put yourself in others shoes before judging too much.

[Floridatilly]

I personally would not bring it up with the teacher & other childs parents. At 6 all my children used to come home from school with paint or glue on their uniforms that Bill or Ted had done. The mess that doesn’t come out is frustrating but all part of having a 6 year old I am afraid.
If it was an injury then thats a different story.