I don’t want to always take my mum

[Mrs Toolman]

I have the same problem with my parents. They always want to come with us. We went to New York with them in March for my dad's 80th which was lovely but stressful as they think they are fitter than they are and my mum always ends up poorly as she has walked too much. She is also very vocal with her likes and dislikes and can sulk for hours. DH and I are going on a cruise to the ffjords in August and I know they wanted to come on this holiday too, so hubby told them at the weekend that he has booked it as a surprise for me so that she doesn't have a go at me for not letting them come. I find it so frustrating as our kids are 23 and 21 and we should be getting our lives back but instead I'm now feeling guilty for not taking the parents!

[Sandra & co]

I feel so sorry for you it’s so awkward with family, you don’t wanna hurt her feelings but need your own space. I could never go away with family, we like to sleep late, get up early, eat in or out. Lounge about all day if we want. I think find out when she’s going on her own holiday and tell her your going to Florida then tell her there’s something you need to do at that time and you can’t change it. You could have a chat and tell her you want just a family holiday just you dh and the kids. Tell her you don’t want to hurt her but just need this and maybe she can come again in the future. Family’s are so hard I know!

[sunny1]

we did one trip with my mother in law to florida and many more in europe and it was a lot of what your mum is doing, i had a really difficult time with her demands all the time and as much as we loved her it was difficult and very stressful

i haven't read all the replies but maybe it's time to cut loose, there is nothing wrong with wanting a holiday without your mum tagging along, sometimes you need to put yourself first and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make memories with just you and the children

i would suggest booking smaller accommodation something like a two bed condo that will only fit yourselves and the kids and then only mentioning it at the very last minute, this way she can't come along even if she wanted or had the funds

my mil would insist that she went with the flow and it was a joke because she never did, not once

the kids have great memories of holidays with her but now much older they have also said they like it more when she isn't around and it's just the four of us

[2waterford]

I haven't read all comments but I think I have picked up the your mum does holiday outside your Florida trip so there for does gave a holiday and isn't sitting at home without a holiday.

Therefore it is time to cut the apron strings and say for a few years your trips to Florida are changing and you are travelling as a family of 4.

[YLL]

I think you have been very, very patient. If it had been my mum, I would have said never again after the 1st time. Good luck!

[DiszeeBelle]

I sometimes feel the same way with my parents. I feel so guilty when I do as we've lost a lot of people recently including their parents so age is becoming a reality to both us and them but there is always arguments when we go. We've always gone away with my parents and my brother & his family but they dictate. We bend over backwards for them and then end up not able to go or do things. One year we were going to Gran Canaria, my brother decided they would not go, convinced my parents not to but we said we still would, all hell broke loose because I wouldn't cancel- I've lost a lot of money over the years because of things like this. We had a fab time. We've booked for Florida this year, asked them all but they refused and we are not allowed to talk about going because we are showing off etc but I'm actually looking forward to just the 4 of us just going but then feel awful for thinking like this.

[Saratoska]

It’s so hard , we were lucky in that my parents were no where like you mum but as they got older it was hard and my mum can be hard work

Eventually they were to old they felt to go, met my cousin for coffee one day and she handed me $50 and said that for me to come with you all next year 😱 I was totally floored

Last year and this year we have been on our own and it is so less stressful so I do hope you get round it, think by saying booking last night is a really good idea that our your husband saying it’s a last minute surprise

[djewkes]

I think you have been brilliant with her... but to the point you’ve let her get away with stuff that she shouldn’t and she’s taken over...
The saying she’s been crying over photos is actually emotional blackmail, and she’s trying it on in other ways...
As a mum and mil, I wouldn’t dream of going of taking over my children’s holidays (if I was in your mums situation that is). She should be respecting your wants and needs... has she always been manipulative or is this new? I can’t believe that a single person would take the master suite especially as you say you are disabled...
Book your holidays in front, do your planning and tell her the week before you leave that you’ve booked a last minute deal...
The alternative is to tell her the truth... you can shift some of the blame... DH feels we need to get away on our own this time as we need some time on our own as a family of 4...
But as she’s got away with it for so long she will try and make you feel guilty, you’ve been far to accommodating with her and now she expects it... don’t let her get away with it...

[scojos]

Let her save and take u all that way she can "dictate" the holiday.
Otherwise nope sorry my money my holiday my way.
Ur mom reminds me alot of my own mom and nooooo way would i get woke up early /let her nap/go to bed early.
Im an early riser and napper so guess i am ur mom but no way would i stop my family also enjoying tgeir holiday (and not eating is v childish...

[Chilli-pepper]

Originally Posted by Universal VR

As a matter of interest, how many Dibbers take their parents on holiday with them every time?

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Never, wouldn't even cross my mind to do so.