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Old 9 Jun 20, 01:23 PM  
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#1
BerkshireBugsy
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Mobile DD wanting to get married in cyprus

Where do I start

I knew my DD21 and her BF were planning to get engaged and (long story short) they now are. My darling daughter has now gone into overdrive planning mode which they want to be in cyprus. Her mum and I are no longer together but are are worried about the people that wont be able to make it to the wedding because of cost or health.

She has found a wedding location in cyprus which is still under construction which bothers me to say the least!

The rate at which she is going ahead with this bothers everyone she talks to about it but I guess she is just excited which is understandable.

So your chance to be honest now...if you have planned a wedding does any of this ring any bells with you?

Curious to know what dibbers think

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Old 10 Jun 20, 07:51 AM  
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duchy
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That’s a how long is apiece of string question !
How old is she ?
How far away is the planned wedding date
Could this be a proper plan or just a dream to stay sane in lockdown ?
At her age would you have listened to your parents about wedding plans or would they have had to be very erm “diplomatic”
Do they actually “want” everyone there or is their vision of their wedding more akin to eloping without a big guest list ?
Maybe talk to her not us ... she won’t care what the Dibb thinks
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Old 10 Jun 20, 08:33 AM  
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Love*my*hols
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I guess it comes down to location ,or big wedding at home with a larger number of guests.Does she realise she probably won't have both ,but could maybe have a party later?
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Old 10 Jun 20, 08:44 AM  
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munmun
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Our daughter got married in the Caribbean, in a fantastic 40 room five star hotel on the beach. There were about 30 people there, our close family stayed in the hotel, their friends stayed in less expensive hotels just along the beach but spent most of the days with us.

It was the most fantastic time, enjoyed by all, we had beach fireworks in the evening organised and paid for by us but enjoyed by the other people in the hotel.

I new my daughter would never have the traditional wedding, they had what she wanted, the important people were there.
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Old 10 Jun 20, 08:54 AM  
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Disney_time
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Yes, we've been part of planning a wedding abroad, but DDIL's parents live there so they did the planning.

It was difficult for the young couple as they could only visit the venue twice, and in between the wedding planner quit, cue floods of tears. There were other difficulties too such as not meeting the minister till the day before. Fortunately there was no problem with needing to be resident a few days before or anything.

There were things they had to get their head round, such as none of their grandparents could be there, and only a few relatives could afford to make the trip. They did however have lots of their young friends there. (Where on earth do young folks get their disposable income? In my day... ) Anyway this made for a very energetic, youthful crowd, and was a great compliment to the young couple that their friends wanted to be there.

I'd make your DD aware of the hard facts. For example, like it or not, the effect coronavirus will have in the short and long term on travel and people's confidence to travel. Also, the fact that people (including family) might not be able to afford to travel, or that the wedding will be limited to a certain number. Possibly they could have more guests if the wedding was here? Also, not knowing what the relationship is like between you and your ex, there might be stuff there that your DD should realise would be harder for you all to be abroad for a week than a one day event here.

Good luck.
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Old 10 Jun 20, 09:01 AM  
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snowbelle
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I would sit down with her and her fiancé and discuss everything you have said here .
I got married overseas but we were older and we went by ourselves and had the honeymoon included, weddings no matter where you have them are expensive I’ve been to weddings costing £30k plus .
At the present time of uncertainty I wouldn’t begin to start such an ambitious plan especially if the venue isn’t fully constructed, they could go bust And she can’t exactly fly out and scope it out .
The two very expensive weddings I went to were a nice day but for both couples not an easy task to pay off ( my SiL is a single mum and couldn’t keep up with my nephews new wife’s demands so her parents paid the majority of the cost ) It’s time for your DD to have a long hard think about the cost and the logistics.
I err more on the side of put it towards a house and have a small wedding but I’m a bit older now !
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Old 10 Jun 20, 09:01 AM  
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disney332
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I have total respect for you and i hope your daughter has the best wedding day ever, lovely news...

If it were my DD, i would voice my reservations, but if after due consideration this is what she wants, i would go full steam ahead.

I suppose a small blessing when you return could help appease some of those unable to attend and square the circle?

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Old 10 Jun 20, 09:03 AM  
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Sandra & co
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Watch Sun, Sea and Bride to Be on All 4, I’m addicted to watching it. It’s about weddings in Cyprus and will give you a great insight. The weddings look amazing, they cater for big and small weddings. The planners do a brilliant job and you can get married on Yacht with fireworks or in a venue overlooking the sea or on the beach.
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Old 10 Jun 20, 09:11 AM  
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duchy
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I do think with the aftermath of Covid couples who want a wedding abroad with a significant number of guests will struggle as their guests not only may struggle to afford to go as job security isn’t something anyone can take for granted at the moment but also some people just won’t want to fly.
Even preCovid plenty of couples found people would pull out for financial or other reasons ... or people just didn’t want their holiday destination for that year dictated to them. At only 21 many of their friends may not be able to afford it or want to commit so far ahead anyway. Maybe talk about if it turned out to be very small is that what they actually want .
On the other hand , at 21 with months of lockdown , it may just be they want something to plan for , when everything else seems so uncertain at the moment so maybe help her look at planning without committing to anything financially yet
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Old 10 Jun 20, 09:12 AM  
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BerkshireBugsy
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Originally Posted by duchy View Post
That’s a how long is apiece of string question !
How old is she ?
How far away is the planned wedding date
Could this be a proper plan or just a dream to stay sane in lockdown ?
At her age would you have listened to your parents about wedding plans or would they have had to be very erm “diplomatic”
Do they actually “want” everyone there or is their vision of their wedding more akin to eloping without a big guest list ?
Maybe talk to her not us ... she won’t care what the Dibb thinks
A big thank you to everyone who replied. Let me answer each answer in turn.

DD21 is 21. She had her 21st last Wednesday which is when her BF proposed to her

The wedding is provisionaly booked for July 2022

It's a plan in so much as she is paying the deposit for a venue at the end of this week. The venue has not been built yet.

I was about 2 years oilder than she will be when she gets married and I accept I was very immature

They "want" about 38 guests there. I don't think eloping is an option in their eyes. They have been on hoiliday to Cyprus and it is a special place to them.

As for the last question I have talked to her at length about it (we have a very good realtionship despite this!)

Thanks Duchy.
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