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Unread 13 Aug 18, 12:16 AM  
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rummy63
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It's A Long Way To Itinerary DAY 2 SAMS TOWN

Day 2

I did all my ates and thank goodness for that kettle, so I could caffeinate.

Today we were up and ready by 6.30.

The breakfast place didnt open until 7.30 so we sat in Dunkin donuts for yet another caffeinate with an extra shot.

I felt so wired I could have lit up Blackpool.

Armed with our B connected cards we set off for breakfast.

It was very good for a great price.

Our Lily ate hardly anything

Today was supposed to be a rest day because according to German researchers, the risk of a heart attack is higher on Monday than any other day of the week, but we also had quite a bit of business to conduct.

Dilemma over we set off the North Outlets. I think I prefer this outlet to the other one.

Parking was ample and free.

There wasnt a soul at the Northern outlets probably because we were early or maybe the Americans all take note of German research.

Our main reason for being there was to visit the Sketchers store.

Our Lily needed kitting out because she has shocking feet.

Well they dont resemble feet I call them her trotters. The toes sort off go across each other. She has bunions and having them operated on would mean a long-time off work and she wont do that.

Its nothing to do with money because she would get paid.

I really dont know how she walks on them.



Since the Sketchers were on buy one, 2nd pair half price Larry was allowed some as well.

Our Lily got the Go Gagas and she kept them on this meant we could walk around and look in the other stores. She wanted to go into full purchase mode and buy stuff for the grand kids. I talked her out of it what was the point of trailing it on our itinerary when we would be returning next week.

The sun came out, so we bought yet more coffees and sat, and people watched.

I happened to mention that tomorrow we would be moving on and apparently whilst on Navaho land alcohol cannot be seen or purchased.

Our Lily and Larry were aghast.

That was it we had to throw our coffees down our necks and get back in the car as we had serious shopping to do. I dont know if it was the go Gagas or the thought of a couple of dry days but our Lily was the first back to the car.

Eat yer heart out Zola Budd

We called to Lees liquor store and spent 130 dollars. Mainly on Pinot Grigot for our Lily. She likes the bottle with a picture of a pair of very fetching feet on its label.

Bit ironic really it makes me wonder if she is thinking that if she drinks enough of the stuff she too will have a pair of feet like that.

Larry wanted a six pack of Boddingtons which was quite expensive because its British and imported. Lily went into melt down and said he couldnt have it because of the price.

Umm welcome to fight club.

Err what about the half dozen bottles of bare foot?

The first rule of fight club is that you do not talk about the bare foot bottles.

We then called to Walmart for copious amounts of crap. We also bought not one but two polystyrene coolers to put the crap into.
Larry had a bit of a moan about the crap.

The third rule of fight club is that you do not talk about the after eight pm crap.

By this time, we were hungry so called to the food court at the Southern Outlets

We were starving so went to order at one of the counter places. We chose spaghetti and meatballs.

Lily and Larry went to bag a table.

There was plenty of tables (just saying).

There was a girl on the till and a couple of lads Mitch and Dillon slouched at the service counter, mouths sort of hung half open and eyes half closed.

Ive seen more work in a bed bug.

Al asked Dillon if he was serving he pointed to the girl who was busy on the till and continued his slouching.

Gemma served us the spaghetti and meatballs and a speck of sauce splashed back on to her blouse.

Well, she had a bit of a hissy.

Mitch lumbered over to her and proceeded to show her how to address the spoon and not get a splash back. His hand over hers on the spoon stirring the balls all suggestive like.

Gemma was leaning in to him and gazing into his eyes as though he was the meat ball God himself.

I half expected bloody Robson and Jerome to pop up spouting out the Unchained Melody.

In the mean- time me and Al were stood there like a couple of extras on a low budget blue movie.

She hadnt even passed over the food.

Normally its me that would say something, but I was quite surprised when Al spoke up and told them to keep it.

Then Mitch the cheeky sod started laughing and said, Yawl have a nice day now.

Well I was fuming the bloody little snot nose Ive got knickers that are older than him.

I told him I would ignore that remark due to him being an infant and maybe tomorrow he could bring his mother with him so that I could have a word.

Ignorant little burgher I bet his only academic achievement was passing a paternity test and I reckon that Gemma had seen more rubber than the M25.

Armed with our B connected cards we returned to Sams for a very late lunch.

As today was supposed to be our day of rest we wanted to sit by the pool, but it was down for painting that week end.

It hadnt stopped them demanding an extortionate resort fee though.
Stuck for something to do we called to the bingo and for a fifty-dollar stake won the princely sum of 13 dollars.

We really couldnt leave Sams without watching the light show.








There was a pleasant little bar near the light show area, so we had a few drinks and people watched.
The light show wasnt spectacular, but it was a little light entertainment while we sat there.
It was quite pleasant to walk up to the bar and be served.

It saves all that waving pantomiming and pointing because lets face it thats waay too much exercise.

It was also enjoyable not having to sit amongst bright lights and machines.

We had a short stroll around the casino and a little gamble on the machines but none of us know what we are doing and are not really interested in them.
The waitress asked if I would like a drink, so I asked for a white wine.

I left it because it tasted as though it had been fermented in a fungal foot sufferers sock.

We retired to our rooms showered and changed into our leisure wear.
Before we came on holiday I advised our Lily to buy something to slip into meaning Pjs or similar oh no not her, she emerged in a robe of many colours.

He-e-e-eres Lily

Dame Bond licensed to thrill.

I felt quite underdressed in my Mister Man Onesie.

We had bought a large sweet jar full of snacks, huge bags of crisps which our Lily devoured.

This is what she does.

Eats nothing all day and at 8.00pm turns into a soddin Pac man.

Then she sets about taking her foot medicine (the Pinot with the bare feet on the bottle) of which she needs lots.

To say our room (yes that would be the room that Al and I are sleeping in) represented a pig sty would be an affront to pigs.

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cant wait for this date
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Unread 13 Aug 18, 04:40 PM  
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miss lumpy
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Love reading your trip reports
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Unread 13 Aug 18, 09:05 PM  
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Capt Wilko
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"I've got knickers that are older than him" - totally creased!
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Finally going back to our happy place
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Unread 14 Aug 18, 07:13 AM  
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Twilight Nerd
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Really enjoying reading you report
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Cali here we come
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Unread 14 Aug 18, 07:51 PM  
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florida girl
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Unread 14 Aug 18, 10:57 PM  
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Ha ha! Love it! Would loved to have seen a pic of Lilys robe! Off to read more xx
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Unread 15 Aug 18, 05:49 PM  
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Omg Ive missed your reports
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Texas to Florida and back again for 5 mo
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Unread 18 Aug 18, 09:52 PM  
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Las Vegas again!
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