How to help someone cut down on alcohol?

[Guest]

Originally Posted by mitch84

I think this is why it’s a difficult topic. A person who had one alcoholic drink each day is incredibly unlikely to be an alcoholic. And if they had say one glass of wine as part of an otherwise active life with a balanced diet, it doesn’t have to necessarily be unhealthy either.

I go to David Lloyd most days, and I see the same groups of blokes, they go to the gym after work, workout together or play tennis, shower and then have one beer together socially before going home to their wives or partners for dinner, every day. They are fit and healthy blokes, they just treat themselves to a beer after tennis.

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Yeah I suppose it’s subjective but even though I like a drink I still think one every night is too much .
If it’s a habit to have one every night then it can’t be a good thing imo but obviously that’s personal preference.

[barryp1]

Originally Posted by mickey house

I would have to strongly disagree because if someone starts drinking at lunchtime everyday and has up to 10 tins of a beer a day and has been doing this for 30 years then they are without any doubt an alcoholic.

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It's not a good idea but it doesn't necessarily make you an alcoholic.

[barryp1]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

Sorry I can’t be of any help as I don’t have a clue about any of this kind of thing but out of curiosity to those that say 7-10 is too much per day, which I do agree with, what is the right amount per day for it then to be labelled as alcoholic?

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It is very little to do with quantity. It is about not being able to say no.

[returnplanning]

Originally Posted by Sandra & co

I’d see if he can go a day without drinking, if not see a doctor and get help. Counselling, change of life style, group support whatever it takes. Good luck because it’s gonna be hard for him to stop xxx

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Actually I wouldn't advise this as a medical professional. He is likely to be alcohol dependent, and abruptly stopping can be very unpleasant and even fatal. Perhaps look at how to reduce the amount he drinks each day first - e.g if he drinks 10 tins/day could he cut down to 9 per day for a week or so? However, based on my experience, he may well find other ways round it - secretly drinking etc.

[returnplanning]

Originally Posted by mitch84

I think the point is that it isn’t volume, people can handle their drink in very different ways, but it is the dependency to it.

Can they stop? Can they have a night of not drinking?

Do they need a drink to ‘reset’ or feel themselves on a morning?

Are they able to be open and honest about how much they drink or do they need to hide it?

Do they ever skip obligations, due to having to drink?

Do they ever have memory loss, blackouts etc?

If they can’t drink for any reason do they get withdrawal symptoms?

Alcoholics will likely tick at least one of these boxes, maybe one maybe several.

7-10 cans of beer a day is bad for the OP’s husbands health, and it may be that they tick no 1, and can’t stop, but there is only one way of finding out

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This is the correct answer. I was taught the "CAGE questionnaire" as a screening tool for alcohol issues

C(ut down) - Have you ever felt that you ought to cut down on your drinking?

A(nnoyed) - have other people been annoyed by your drinking?

G(uilt) - have you ever felt guilty about your drinking?

E(ye-opener) - do you need a drink as an "eye-opener" (first thing in the morning) or to help you deal with a hangover/other effects of drinking?

If you answer yes to 2 or more of these, then it is very likely that you have a problem with alcohol.

[daviewat]

There is group called “one year without beer” OYWB google it and see. It is very interesting and rhuiaia that operates it is certainly a pioneer.

[wez]

As others have said, it can be v dangerous to stop abruptly given the amount & frequency of consumption. My uncle tried this and suffered severe seizures as well as unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.

[JessBlu]

You say it’s his stress relief, What is the stress he is under to justify this level of drinking ?

So he is feeling “stress” daily - why ? Try changing the life style which has resulted in the stress.

Not many people have offered opinions on what you can do I to help as per your question, I would suggest the following

Do things he likes to do at 1pm and ask him to delay the drinking for one hours while you do your activity together, whatever that is, walking, sports, hobbies, jogging

Have a look at both your lifestyle and make healthy changes in terms of diet and exercise and mental Health, you could plan out your new plan together

Both get a MOT at the doctor, to determine your health levels and set down targets for improving

Look to change your life style to minimise the stress levels

Start a new hobby or sport to give him something to concentrate on

I suppose the point in making is that I would prefer help like this as oppose to accusing and finger pointing.

Good luck

[duchy]

This is the approach I’m trying to get my family member’s wife to take but as she’s at the end of her rope (and my family member is a stubborn git at the best of times) it’s difficult . I’m ultimately saying to her nagging isn’t working and is counter productive so try another approach but I feel for her .

Originally Posted by JessBlu

You say it’s his stress relief, What is the stress he is under to justify this level of drinking ?

So he is feeling “stress” daily - why ? Try changing the life style which has resulted in the stress.

Not many people have offered opinions on what you can do I to help as per your question, I would suggest the following

Do things he likes to do at 1pm and ask him to delay the drinking for one hours while you do your activity together, whatever that is, walking, sports, hobbies, jogging

Have a look at both your lifestyle and make healthy changes in terms of diet and exercise and mental Health, you could plan out your new plan together

Both get a MOT at the doctor, to determine your health levels and set down targets for improving

Look to change your life style to minimise the stress levels

Start a new hobby or sport to give him something to concentrate on

I suppose the point in making is that I would prefer help like this as oppose to accusing and finger pointing.

Good luck

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[Guest]

I think he's what they call a functioning alcoholic.

Unless he wants to stop you're on a hiding to nothing. My brother died two years ago from it at age sixty three and I did everything I could to no avail, he just wouldn't stop, every excuse under the sun, it helps me relax, you name it he said it.

I even got him into counselling (mental issues, too) the councellor he was seeing said he wasn't an alcoholic he was alcohol dependent. Boy, did he hold onto that nugget and repeat ad nauseam.

They really, really have to want to do it thenselves, a lot of people manage it, many don't...

It's the scourge of our times ...