Need some advice-don’t know what to do :(

[Princess Ariel]

You may know from previous threads that DS (18) was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 12 months ago. He has not coped with this at all and has had 5 hospital admissions with DKA since October. He has also been diagnosed with depression.
I have fought and fought to get more help and support for him, on his most recent admission 2 weeks ago he admitted to his DSN that he was deliberately attempting to take his own life by binge eating sweets and not taking his insulin. Again I had to fight with his GP to get a referral to the MH crisis team. They referred him to the Home Treatment Mental Health team who have been giving him support for the past week or so. They have been visiting him daily, have reviewed his anti-depressant medication and have implemented support plans, crisis plans and daily activity sheets for him. They have been brilliant and have also provided him with crisis and support telephone numbers.
Yesterday I thought he looked peaky and searched his bedroom, there is evidence that he has been continuing to binge eat and I’m pretty sure he’s not taking his insulin again.
He’s at college right now and I don’t know what to do! Do I confront him again and ask him to check his blood sugars? Or do I take a step back and allow him to start taking responsibility for his own decisions and health and well-being? I just don’t know what to do anymore! I should add that on all of his previous admissions to hospital I have been the one to recognise his ill-health and have got him to hospital, he has never initiated his own help.
I’m sorry this is so long, I’ve tried to condense it as much as I can, I honestly just don’t know what to do, I really don’t think I can take much more

[lovesdisney]

Ah bless you... didn’t want to read and run. Sounds like he needs more support form the mental health team. Can you not speak to the GP or DSN to get him referred and seem.
It’s diffucult as he is in the eye of the law is an adult however he still needs his mum. T1 diabetes as you know is serious but doesn’t have to be a life sentence and can be managed with support.
I think talking to him may help but he’s got to want to engage.
Sorry can be of much help xx

[waiting4disney]

Can you get any help or advice from Diabetes UK?

Maybe try to speak to him when he gets home. I think all you can do (as you are already) is let him know you are there for him if he wants to talk.

[Princess Ariel]

Thank you for the replies, honestly I can’t begin to explain the effect this has had on our family, he has admitted that he sometimes omits his insulin because he wants to die. It’s absolutely heartbreaking but I can’t believe he’s relapsing so soon even with all the help and support he’s been getting-I feel so helpless.
I’ll talk to him when he gets back from college and check his blood sugar levels etc just to make sure he’s not in any immediate danger and just to put my mind at rest.

[bearandbuzz]

Not knowing your son, it’s hard to judge but is there a chance that he’s struggling with the thought of managing his diabetes and almost reverting back to a child’s way of thinking, ie if I ignore it and carry on as I was someone else will sort it for me? Im wondering if he’s findingt the responsibility too much, but is too proud to ask you to help him?

It sounds as though the MH teams have helped somewhat but not cracked the underlying problem. As you well know it’s a life changing diagnosis, but many people lead a fulfilling life once it’s under control - unfortunately it can take some time to achieve this. Maybe you could see if there’s a diabetes support group for him to attend. I’d definitely contact diabetes uk for help - even if he doesn’t accept the support it sounds like you could do with a friendly ear.

I hope he turns a corner soon.

[Princess Ariel]

Thank you, his blood sugars were high (no surprise) but luckily his ketones are only 0.7 so we have corrected it at home.
I’m back at work tomorrow for two days (I work 12 hour shifts) so at least I know he’s physically okay at the moment.
I’m hoping he will get there eventually, I think he finds it difficult to accept this is forever and Yes I do think he buries his head in the sand, tries to ignore it and thinks it will all go away

[Melbatb]

((Hugs)) to you first of all.

I am another T1D mum - though in our case DD was diagnosed at 6, 7 years ago so it has been part of her life for a lot longer and she doesn’t remember life pre-diabetes.

How would your DS react to you asking if he wants you to jointly manage his treatment with him? You calculate his carbs, his insulin based on his blood sugars so he feels that some of the responsibility has gone (in the short term)

Our hospital has a T1 association that runs courses for the patients on how to manage the condition. It helped DD as she met other kids in the same boat and realised that she was not alone. It is a complete pain in the proverbial (neverending is the word that comes to mind) but perhaps if he could meet other lads of his age he may see it isn't so bad.

I am not sure I have been any help but I wish you both all the best.

[Talland 2016]

Originally Posted by waiting4disney

Can you get any help or advice from Diabetes UK?

Maybe try to speak to him when he gets home. I think all you can do (as you are already) is let him know you are there for him if he wants to talk.

See more...

This is what I was going to say

[Plato]

With it being so new to him and at a crucial time of life it must be a massive shock.

Our DD has had Type 1 most of her life, so is in a different place, but some things that springs to mind include:

A joint approach to monitoring may work. Our DD didn't take over her own monitoring until quite late in life comparatively. We put no pressure on her and allowed her to choose the right time.

There are some options for Continuous Glucose Monitoring that may help in the short term.

Although we have taken advice from Diabetes UK, there is nothing better than finding a local resource that can support him.

Can you connect with a local diabetes group and find someone in a similar boat.

Just ideas that you may or may not have considered already.

It is important for him to see that this, although a massive shock, is an adjustment to his lifestyle and will become part of everyday life. The management of Type 1 has improved massively over recent years with the access to pumps and other technologies meaning that adjustments to your life are not as large as they used to be.

I hope you can all get the support you need Wishing you all the best.

[daytonababe]

Will he talk to some one who has diabetes and lead a normal life still ... and let him see its not all doom and gloom

My dad had it for 53 years back when control and support was rubbish so he suffered a lot of nasty side effects towards the end, but now its all so much better. I know the dibber KarenG has diabetes and runs marathons etc... and lives a full on life maybe she can offer some advice.