Son on a break from girlfriend HELP

[tonigary]

Thanks bella9

That is one thing I will not be negative towards her, I do like her, and have done alot for her, its just I hate seeing him down

[bella9]

Originally Posted by tonigary

Thanks bella9

That is one thing I will not be negative towards her, I do like her, and have done alot for her, its just I hate seeing him down

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I know, we want the best for our kids, and want to protect them from everything, but we can't. You've gone into protective mummy bear mode; (as I would) just have a good vent on here and get it off your chest. 😊😃

[ChrisS]

Originally Posted by floridasgirl

Really?! Does trust not come into it in a commited relationship?! I wouldn't lend anyone money if I didn't trust them. A contract is as bad as a prenup!

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Perhaps it's relative to the more committed party, in this instance, based on Toni's comments, that may be her son more than the girlfriend. £4500 is a lot of money to ask on a 'trust' loan basis irrespective of relationship. As the saying goes, never a borrower or lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend...

Toni, I'm sorry this situation is causing you so much stress.

[Rataouille92]

I think you just have to sit back and bite your tounge.
He is 25 and knew what he was doing when he leant the money. Obviously it depends why they broke also, i am sure she isn't a horrible person considering how long they were together and will pay him back.

Unfortunately it is out of your control and we learn from our mistakes. It is hard to just sit back and watch but he will learn for himself.

[KellyWellyWoo]

I think it depends why he lent her the money. I paid for a year of my partners uni two years in to our relationship as his funding was stopped due to an error. It was about the same sum you're talking about. I didn't ask him to pay me back as I was more than happy to help and wanted to- money is way down on my priority list. If he left me now I still wouldn't ask for it back because, as an adult, I made a decision I was happy with at the time and still am. As hard as it is, your son as an adult, has too made s decision he was happy with so leave him to deal with the aftermath.

[Oliver123]

Originally Posted by floridasgirl

Really?! Does trust not come into it in a commited relationship?! I wouldn't lend anyone money if I didn't trust them. A contract is as bad as a prenup!

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Not at all. I trust my GF with everything but for example we have just bought DVC and she had to borrow a lot of money from me we are talking over £5,000 and she insisted I wrote a contract and I was more than happy to! I have been with her for 4 years and trust her with everything. It is just been sensible as you never know what will happen in the future.

[Oliver123]

Originally Posted by tonigary

No contract, but he would not think of doing that, he loves her deeply, I hate him being treated like that, yes over protective mother, I do understand he is older, but he is still my son

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I would give it a couple of days you know how young minds work! If you want to chat though drop me a PM OP as I you shouldn't be getting down about it! I know it isn't easy but as the old saying go "as one door closes another door opens!"

[tonigary]

Thanks everyone, I have slept on it, and feel alot better this morning, I had a quick chat with my son last night, and we both are fine.

Toni

[bella9]

Originally Posted by tonigary

Thanks everyone, I have slept on it, and feel alot better this morning, I had a quick chat with my son last night, and we both are fine.

Toni

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That's great; things usually look better in the morning. It's lovely that you and your son have such a strong bond; treasure it. Have a good day. 😊😊

[VikkiSponge]

Originally Posted by floridasgirl

Really?! Does trust not come into it in a commited relationship?! I wouldn't lend anyone money if I didn't trust them. A contract is as bad as a prenup!

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I love and trust my partner but when I bought him a car I made him sign a contract saying it was mine until he'd paid for it. He had no problems with this.