DS involved in fight outside of school - don’t know what to do - update post #35

[petit-pois]

I’d be fuming at the school, if they’d notified you of the situation straight away you could have taken control of the situation and the fight may have been avoided. Having said that, I think the dragging of the school over the coals for their failures needs to be secondary at the moment.
I think that you need to deal with the ongoing threat first. Straight to the police this morning with your son and all the evidence. (Writing out a timeline with your son before you go may be useful) If the other kid hit him first he has been assaulted and his subsequent reactions were in self defence. First priority is to report the attack and protect your family from potential further incidents.

[Princess Ariel]

I had similar, my son was jumped and punched when in year 7 (he was 11!) the school were great but I also contacted the police and they did take it seriously and get involved. They worked closely with the school so I would keep the kids off today, contact the school telling them why and tell the school you are contacting the police.
I would then contact the police, the attack and threats are not acceptable and they will take it seriously and hopefully, as in my case liaise with the school and get it sorted.
Sending you all my love and thoughts, I know how stressful this is! I’m sure I have a thread on here from when it happened if you want to read through as I think there may be more details on how it was all handled at the time.
Good luck, please keep us updated xx

[Megandllsmum]

Contact the school and police today , explain to both that you have documented evidence that this was a planned attack and whilst your son also threw punches it was clearly in retaliation…..really angers me this sort of thing goes on, school I think often try to brush it under the carpet because it happened out of school premises but the fact school had told your kids it was dealt with isn’t enough…..amazing how school can contact parents straight away if you have a quid outstanding on dinner payments but stuff they really should contact you about they don’t …..I know this isn’t always the case but I’ve known it happen far too much.

There was a horrible incident at my daughters school a few months back where two lads were fighting ( this was on school premises though probably fact it made the news prompted school to act swiftly ) but fact it’s filmed and doing the rounds on social media never helps. That was so severe one child ended up in hospital and the matter went to court
I understand how anxious you are feeling about wanting them at home, it’s natural you want to feel they are safe, could you send them in later after you have spoken with school and hopefully feel a bit more reassured , hope you get this sorted x

[JAF]

Feel very sorry for you as we have gone through similar with our son and although the school made all the right noises were useless and those carrying out the bullying normally came off with a lesser punishment than deserved. Definitely go to the police first and let the school know you have done so as that might then focus the school’s mind on a suitable punishment.

The only time those bullying our son were suitably punished and it included the Deputy Head’s son was on an team building break prior to 6th form entry when our son wanted to throw in the towel and come home. We got to the camp at 1am so staff had to stay up and look after him till then. Following day activities were driving ATV’s and high ropes all of which ds was skilled at doing due to DoE and Scouts activities. Following morning he came to his senses and said why should he miss doing what he loved so we took him back to see a certain group having to sit on the sidelines and watch all day ds having a great time and excelling at something he enjoyed. This was the only time we felt the school had dished out the correct punishment.

[welshmum]

Thank you so much for your advice and support and I am sorry to hear that so many of you have been through the same experiences.

I am so exhausted, I haven’t gone into work today because of how tired I am and how physically sick I feel.

I decided to keep them home with me today.

I have now spoken to the school, the children that had planned the attack were actually excluded that day and parents were informed of this. BIG apologies were made that I was not contacted, miscommunication apparently. I have advised them, politely, that I am extremely upset and angry and am considering a complaint.

The Head of Year 11 advised me that they are going to be getting their police liaison officer involved to attempt mediation with all children involved. They are also contacting the parents of the children who have sent abusive messages to me and advised me to contact the police.

I have done this, logged it with 101 but have not taken this further yet because I want to see how things go with the school first. If the families continue to be abusive, I will take further action but at least it has been logged.

Why are there just some awful, awful families out there

[welshmum]

Originally Posted by petit-pois

I’d be fuming at the school, if they’d notified you of the situation straight away you could have taken control of the situation and the fight may have been avoided. Having said that, I think the dragging of the school over the coals for their failures needs to be secondary at the moment.
I think that you need to deal with the ongoing threat first. Straight to the police this morning with your son and all the evidence. (Writing out a timeline with your son before you go may be useful) If the other kid hit him first he has been assaulted and his subsequent reactions were in self defence. First priority is to report the attack and protect your family from potential further incidents.

See more...

Most of my time this morning has been gathering a timeline and as much evidence as possible. I have even contacted the shop where the fight took place to see if they could release any CCTV. They can’t unless police ask them for this.

I have also managed to get names of witnesses which confirm the boy was the first one to attack.

[Bad Pink Tink]

Originally Posted by welshmum

Most of my time this morning has been gathering a timeline and as much evidence as possible. I have even contacted the shop where the fight took place to see if they could release any CCTV. They can’t unless police ask them for this.

I have also managed to get names of witnesses which confirm the boy was the first one to attack.

See more...

This is why you need to open a case with the police. They can gather info which you can't. I know Brexit and all that but its all to do with GDPR and data privacy laws. The police will also be able to access things like traffic cameras , on street cctv and cctv from other buildings nearby the shop. They can also put out a call for dash cam video from the general public who may be driving by at the time.

Also the police may be able to give you info about victim support and how to deal with the mental trauma of being attacked. Your son was assaulted, its a crime, and should be reported and in the system.

[Floridatilly]

Originally Posted by welshmum

Thank you so much for your advice and support and I am sorry to hear that so many of you have been through the same experiences.

I am so exhausted, I haven’t gone into work today because of how tired I am and how physically sick I feel.

I decided to keep them home with me today.

I have now spoken to the school, the children that had planned the attack were actually excluded that day and parents were informed of this. BIG apologies were made that I was not contacted, miscommunication apparently. I have advised them, politely, that I am extremely upset and angry and am considering a complaint.

The Head of Year 11 advised me that they are going to be getting their police liaison officer involved to attempt mediation with all children involved. They are also contacting the parents of the children who have sent abusive messages to me and advised me to contact the police.

I have done this, logged it with 101 but have not taken this further yet because I want to see how things go with the school first. If the families continue to be abusive, I will take further action but at least it has been logged.

Why are there just some awful, awful families out there

See more...

Sounds like you have done all the right things so far. You must be so worried, its very intimidating for other parents to contact you, why can’t they just go through the proper channels. How is your son today? Is he worried or anxious?
Please keep us updated and I really hope everything is ok x x

[Jakey Neverland]

Originally Posted by Scaramouche

This for me.

These types of families can live up to their threats. Kids home, contact police and school immediately. I’d be going mental at the school as well for not bloody telling you!

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I totally agree, I would be contact the police now.

[Jakey Neverland]

There was recently a fight after school at my daughters school. We had emails from the school around 6pm telling us all about the fight and also the fact it was going to be dealt with severely and anyone sharing the videos would also be dealt with in the same manner.

School need to be really on this too.