Divorce

[vampiress88]

Originally Posted by floridasgirl

I would be telling him to leave if he doesn't want to be with you.
I'm sorry you are going through this.

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I tried that. We both have no where to go and he pays for the majority of things

[Pookie3101]

Sorry to hear this. I am currently going through a divorce and close to the end. It’s been a long 3 years for me and financial settlement agreed and just waiting for the consent order to be sent to the Court.
It wasn’t my choice either and my parents divorced when I was young too and it wasnt what I wanted from my family. I felt like a failure
3 years down the line I have moved on and I am much happier. My kids are happy and have a good relationship with both of us. He walked out and I was devastated at the time and thought I would never get over him or be happy again. I was wrong on both counts as it turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened.

Take it one day at a time. Get some advice. Divorce is a rollercoaster of emotions but it does get better and none of us know what is round the corner. Life is too short to be in a relationship that is not working and never stay in one for the kids. They are more resilient than we give them credit for.
I wish you well xx

[EssexSue]

If it's him wants to end things perhaps he should be the one to leave!

[littlelish0544]

It seems impossible now, but you will get through and be better for it. My divorce was awful, like previous post, took 3yrs and went to a full financial hearing. But dont stay because of kids. I spent my childhood wishing my parents would divorce, it was awful. And scarred me for life in many ways. PM anytime. And dont feel guilty or a faliure. I didnt want to be a statistic, but I would never go back to living in that situation again. My kids were 5 and 6 when he left. They are 27 and 29 now and have nothing to do with thier biological Dad. And thats nothing to do with me. Keep your chin up xxxx

[duchy]

Don’t be the one to leave if you are going to be the primary carer for the children. With so much change for them a new home too can wait .
Talk to citizens advice about your options, how child support works, benefits if you aren’t going back to work in the short term etc
You really need to be fully genned up in these situations
Wishing you luck and happier days ahead.

[caj]

Get yourself some advice ... CAB or free legal advice. Don't just leave. He will have to support you and his children.

[vampiress88]

I’m just going to walk away from everything. I don’t want the kids to have another home and we can’t get out the mortgage without a £10k fee so have said I will do a transfer of equity. We have debts so basically he will keep all the debts and all the assets and I can just walk away.

[Fluffypenguin]

Obviously I only know what I read on here, but from previous posts you’ve done over the years, your husband doesn’t always sound like the easiest of people to live with and he’s never sounded very tolerant of much from what you’ve said before.

Honestly you haven’t done anything to your children, your relationship just isn’t working and it will probably be worse bringing them up in an unhappy house.

I hope you get sorted out and come to some sort of arrangement. Realistically he needs to find somewhere else to go.

[vampiress88]

Originally Posted by duchy

Don’t be the one to leave if you are going to be the primary carer for the children. With so much change for them a new home too can wait .
Talk to citizens advice about your options, how child support works, benefits if you aren’t going back to work in the short term etc
You really need to be fully genned up in these situations
Wishing you luck and happier days ahead.

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I work 16 hours

[levtweeney]

From a child’s point of view. I was 11 when my parents split. It is still the happiest day of my life. The arguments, the hatred, the violence, the worry about what will happen next. All of these things were such a worry for me and my brother. I never even realised how it effected me until the day I was sat down and told dad was never coming back. I literally cried with happiness. I was able to laugh and play and have fun without worry. I could see my mam have fun and smile and laugh and be herself.

Do not be so concerned for your children. They will have picked up on the discord between yourself and your husband. They may just surprise you and be happier than you think.