Divorce

[caj]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

I work 16 hours

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It sounds like you need to speak to someone who can give you the advice you need. Make no firm decisions until this has happened. As much as you want it over now this minute, it will take time and your choices and actions can have massive impacts further down the line. Solicitors give 30 mins free advice ... use that and cab ... before you act.

[duchy]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

I’m just going to walk away from everything. I don’t want the kids to have another home and we can’t get out the mortgage without a £10k fee so have said I will do a transfer of equity. We have debts so basically he will keep all the debts and all the assets and I can just walk away.

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Get decent legal advice before you sign *anything*
Please !

[vampiress88]

Originally Posted by levtweeney

From a child’s point of view. I was 11 when my parents split. It is still the happiest day of my life. The arguments, the hatred, the violence, the worry about what will happen next. All of these things were such a worry for me and my brother. I never even realised how it effected me until the day I was sat down and told dad was never coming back. I literally cried with happiness. I was able to laugh and play and have fun without worry. I could see my mam have fun and smile and laugh and be herself.

Do not be so concerned for your children. They will have picked up on the discord between yourself and your husband. They may just surprise you and be happier than you think.

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I think it’s because my parents divorce and everything else that’s happened with them has effected me long term with things that I worry it will effect my two.

[vowels]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

I’m just going to walk away from everything. I don’t want the kids to have another home and we can’t get out the mortgage without a £10k fee so have said I will do a transfer of equity. We have debts so basically he will keep all the debts and all the assets and I can just walk away.

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When you say you do not want the children to have another home, are you planning on leaving the children with your husband?

[littlelish0544]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

I’m just going to walk away from everything. I don’t want the kids to have another home and we can’t get out the mortgage without a £10k fee so have said I will do a transfer of equity. We have debts so basically he will keep all the debts and all the assets and I can just walk away.

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Please dont do that. I understand how you feel, my ex was 50k in debt when he left... by the time the divorce came through he was 85k in debt and climbing, all his own credit cards and loans to consolodate debts he ran up. I had a £50 overdraft... while giving nothing for the kids. I still got three quarters of the house value for me and the kids and it gave us a new start. Worth every second of the hideous three years it took to get from a to z. I did it so I could do my best for the kids. I worked 12 hrs a week at the time. Obviously I dont know your circumstances, but you said he wants this? Why give him everything on a plate and be left with nothing? Please get advice x

[caj]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

I think it’s because my parents divorce and everything else that’s happened with them has effected me long term with things that I worry it will effect my two.

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It may not be great for your children (or it might be) ... but you are aware of the pitfalls and will work 100% to not let history, in terms of your relationship with your kids, repeat what you went through.

[BevS97]

Definitely get advice. I don’t know a lot about benefits but I’m pretty sure if you work 16 hours you will qualify for a reasonable amount that should put you in a better situation than you might expect.

[Pookie3101]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

I’m just going to walk away from everything. I don’t want the kids to have another home and we can’t get out the mortgage without a £10k fee so have said I will do a transfer of equity. We have debts so basically he will keep all the debts and all the assets and I can just walk away.

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Please do not make any rash decisions. Get some advice and find out what you are entitled too. Do not just hand everything to him and walk away. There are other options.
This is raw for you and you are hurting so take some time to think and plan.


Why would you consider leaving the children with him? It’s just a house, bricks and mortar. A home is where the family are and is what you make it.

Please get some advice both legal and practical before you agree to anything.

[vampiress88]

Originally Posted by vowels

When you say you do not want the children to have another home, are you planning on leaving the children with your husband?

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Sort of.
He works shifts so they will sleep here most of the time. Two weeks out of three. This home will always be their primary I would think as they have more stability here. Until I am settled wherever I end up and then can make plans for joint time

[vampiress88]

Originally Posted by Pookie3101

Please do not make any rash decisions. Get some advice and find out what you are entitled too. Do not just hand everything to him and walk away. There are other options.
This is raw for you and you are hurting so take some time to think and plan.


Why would you consider leaving the children with him? It’s just a house, bricks and mortar. A home is where the family are and is what you make it.

Please get some advice both legal and practical before you agree to anything.

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It is a better life here for them rather than with me who will be on benefits. That’s just a fact.
So the week he’s on nights they will be wherever I am, when he’s on days he will have them and when he’s on afters I will put them to bed here and leave when he gets back. That will be the least disruptive