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Old 10 Oct 19, 10:37 AM  
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#11
Bridget
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Wow - he obviously doesn't have much trust does he? I wouldn't get involved, but my goodness, what a miserable way to carry on having to get "permission" to have a break with some friends/relatives
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Old 10 Oct 19, 10:41 AM  
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lorrie36
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Tough decision wether you step in or not.
Sounds to me like you’ve kind of made a decision to say something.
Like others have said, if they are happy and it works for them then that’s up to them. But think you may have already seen that something has upset the Apple cart. Maybe opened up the conversation that each of us should be able to live our lives the way we like, but, we do not live back in the day anymore.
A person should be able to go away with family if they so desire, we should not lose our identity as a person just because we are in a relationship.
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Old 10 Oct 19, 10:41 AM  
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Colette-S
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It’s a hard one for you isn’t it? If you say something to him then you may make it worse for her and it may cause further issues in their relationship. The changes have to come from her so maybe you could gently encourage her ? If she isn’t prepared to do that you may just have to bite your tongue
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Old 10 Oct 19, 10:44 AM  
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I’d be concerned and would be very tempted to say something.

I agree with others though, tread carefully as you don’t want this blowing back on her.

However, if your SiL is saying she wants to go and that he’s not letting her, that doesn’t sound like an agreement they’re both on board with!

Really tricky though.
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Old 10 Oct 19, 10:44 AM  
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WhereIBelong
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Budapest?

Honestly... 3 single women and his wife taking a girls only trip to one of the stag weekend capitals of Europe... if it were my husband with a load of single mates I'd be questioning things (yes we go away separately sometimes and have no problems... perhaps it is more the destination?)
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Old 10 Oct 19, 10:48 AM  
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taylaboo
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Wow! What era is he living in! To me that is a form of bullying and I wouldn't put up with it. Doesn't he trust her? I have always had time away with my sisters in the past and go away now with my daughter, daughter in law, and a friend. In return hubby goes away with his brother. We go to Ibiza all inclusive for a week, he has been to New York and Vienna/Budapest. He must be feeling very insecure in his marriage.
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Old 10 Oct 19, 10:52 AM  
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debs2028
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Originally Posted by WhereIBelong View Post
Budapest?

Honestly... 3 single women and his wife taking a girls only trip to one of the stag weekend capitals of Europe... if it were my husband with a load of single mates I'd be questioning things (yes we go away separately sometimes and have no problems... perhaps it is more the destination?)
It’s not the destination , it would not matter where we were .
Have you been to Budapest ? It may have that reputation but it’s beautiful , I’m 55 , we will take in the sights , use thermal baths , go for a nice eve meal . No intention of clubs , or encountering stag do’s (avoiding more like ) ..
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Old 10 Oct 19, 10:52 AM  
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Your poor SiL, you sound like you have a good relationship with her, have you asked her if she would be happy for you to get involved? This is a family trip to celebrate his nieces birthday, I think if it was my brother treating his wife this way I would certainly say something as he is denying his niece a family trip away, especially as your SiL wants to go but won’t because of the arguments it will cause, she deserves to have a life as well! Even if it’s just along the lines of:
“Your niece was so excited to have her family around her to celebrate her birthday, now her aunt is missing it won’t be the same... what is it that’s worrying you?”

Good luck!




As someone mentioned earlier, can you send him back to the 1950’s!
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Old 10 Oct 19, 11:03 AM  
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Old fashioned yes, but it’s hardly bullying!

I’d keep out of it unless she your sil asks you to say something.
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Old 10 Oct 19, 11:07 AM  
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EssexSue
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Is it also a financial issue?Does she earn her own money?
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