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Old 2 Sep 19, 03:13 PM  
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jas72
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Son 14, no longer wants to cruise

Done 4 cruises now and my son point blank refuses to come on another one with us. He refused to make friends on the last cruise and spent most of the evenings watching netflix, he actually said it was his best cruise. We think it's the anxiety over having to make friends every cruise. I have to admit I enjoyed spending time with him this time.

However I've been looking for May next year and he says he prefers to stay with my Sis-in-law for the week than go on another cruise.

So fellow cruisers how would you deal with this?

He's 14 so too young to be dictating holidays however the cruise would be over his 15th birthday so I don't want to not be there for his birthday either. My wife thinks we should just give cruising a miss until he goes to Uni but a stubborn part of me is annoyed at having to wait 4-5 years to cruise again Clearly next summer we won't cruise we'll have to find another holiday as my wife doesn't want to go to florida again.

What are your opinions?
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Old 2 Sep 19, 03:25 PM  
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Smilesonfaces
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I do think he is too young to be dictating but then it is his holiday too.
Has he said anywhere he does want to go ? Could you manage a cruise at another time and leave your son with Auntie and still go on a family holiday in which he has had some input.
Once they are teens I think it is harder for them to make friends, is it possible to take a friend with you ?
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Old 2 Sep 19, 03:26 PM  
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sam7
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Me personally I would give it a miss for a couple of years - 14, especially a lad, is a very difficult age, they don't just make friends. Why not let him pick your next holiday, where to go and some stuff to do while there - everyone in the family gets to pick an activity/excursion though while there - trust me the time till they leave home will come much sooner than you want it to
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Old 2 Sep 19, 03:36 PM  
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Ladleboy
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Hi,

My opinion for what its worth is that it's a family holiday which obviously includes your DS.

Therefore it has to be a family decision as to where you're going to holiday looking forward.

Historically we used to go to the Caribbean with my two DS's who soon got bored of powder sand and blue sea so we adjusted and went somewhere where we all wanted to go to.

Have you asked him where he fancies?

Shaun
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Old 2 Sep 19, 03:54 PM  
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June8th
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Sit down and chat with him as to where he would like to go. There’s not much point taking a sulky teen on holiday and leaving him behind would also cause stress.
Our kids did various holidays without us, mostly PGL camps and sport based camps. Might he like that?
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Old 2 Sep 19, 04:13 PM  
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Vinniecat
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We have just done our first cruise combining it with a stay in Quebec before the cruise and Orlando after. Our youngest is 15 and she said the cruise was the best part of the holiday for her. She only went to the teen club on the second night though and hated it because she said it was just a lot of drama seeking girls being nasty about each other! So I can understand why your son doesn't want to go to the clubs. I don't think a teenager should dictate where you go but if they are not enjoying themselves then the parents don't get as much out of it either. Do you think if you went on a non cruise holiday he would feel any different about it? Maybe could you have a holiday where he takes a friend? Also if he is happy to stay with your sister in law and she is happy to have him then I would let him stay with her.
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Old 2 Sep 19, 04:20 PM  
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DisneyDaffodil
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Originally Posted by Vinniecat View Post
We have just done our first cruise combining it with a stay in Quebec before the cruise and Orlando after. Our youngest is 15 and she said the cruise was the best part of the holiday for her. She only went to the teen club on the second night though and hated it because she said it was just a lot of drama seeking girls being nasty about each other! So I can understand why your son doesn't want to go to the clubs. I don't think a teenager should dictate where you go but if they are not enjoying themselves then the parents don't get as much out of it either. Do you think if you went on a non cruise holiday he would feel any different about it? Maybe could you have a holiday where he takes a friend? Also if he is happy to stay with your sister in law and she is happy to have him then I would let him stay with her.
My DD would hate the organised clubs too. She loved the kids clubs when she was very young but a teen club would have not appealed to her at 14/15.

Op, would your son prefer to go on the cruise if he didn’t have to join in the teen club?
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Old 2 Sep 19, 04:32 PM  
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SunbreezeFL
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Originally Posted by DisneyDaffodil View Post
My DD would hate the organised clubs too. She loved the kids clubs when she was very young but a teen club would have not appealed to her at 14/15.

Op, would your son prefer to go on the cruise if he didn’t have to join in the teen club?
We are taking my lad who’s 15 on a cruise at Easter - he was very anxious that we would force him to join in everything we’ve explained we won’t. He seems to be OK with the plan now.
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Old 3 Sep 19, 10:54 AM  
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Lindaelaine
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I am of the opinion that at 14 years of age your son should be included in the planning of holidays as it won’t be long until he no longer wants to go with you at all and then you will have plenty of time to do the type of holiday that you and your wife prefer .
I don’t think he should dictate what you do but just have some input and if he is that against a cruise that he would rather stay behind wouldn’t you rather go somewhere all together that you all enjoy while you can ?
I can understand the not wanting to go into Kids Club , I think it’s so different walking into a room full of strangers than say being around the pool and gradually sparking up conversation . Kids of that age also need their own space so I understand him being happy to spend some time in his room and it’s up to the parent to offer other forms of entertainment to encourage them out .
It’s a tricky age as regards to holidays and getting the right balance can be hard between them dictating to you and you dictating to them , you just have to work out a compromise that suits you all .
A mini cruise perhaps, incorporated with something else maybe the answer ?
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Old 2 Sep 19, 04:17 PM  
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DisneyDaffodil
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From the age of around 14, our children have been equally involved in our holiday plans. For our older boys that meant UK holidays as we didn’t go abroad then, but they always chose Cornwall for beaches or a holiday park with sports ground.

For DD, she has been lucky enough to travel further and has been involved in a lot of the decision making. She fancied Venice, we looked into it and decided we liked the look of it too, and we all really enjoyed it. There is no point in going somewhere that one of the family really doesn’t enjoy or you will all find it miserable I feel. Your son has tried cruising, but has made an informed decision that he doesn’t like it. I would either leave him behind with his aunt or find a holiday that you would all enjoy and go together.
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