Have you ever been bullied?

[PoohBears#1fan]

I was bullied at school when I was 11/12 by a group of girls 2 years above me because they all liked the 15 year old boy who was my neighbour.

Being neighbours, our families all knew each other and they took offence to this as couldn't get his attention so started targeting me. They made my life hell for 2 years until they left the school, I was so relieved when they didn't stay into 6th form and I could relax for my last couple of school years.

They used to corner me with crowds of friends and try to get me to fight them, or they'd follow me home tormenting me, then disappear before they got near his house so I'd just walk really fast. My friends were no help as they were all intimidated by these older girls, there was a significant different between 11 year olds and 13 year olds, they were already wearing make up and heels, towering over us.

With hindsight I probably didn't help myself as I could be a gobby thing so possibly didn't always act in a way I'd be proud of now, but ultimately I spent the 1st 3 years of my high school life scared of who would be round every corner I turned.

I never told anyone other than my friends as they never actually laid a finger on me, it was all following and verbal torment, but it did affect me for years.

[Trinacham]

Yes. I was bullied a little (psychologically rather than physical really). Although I'm kind of surprised I wasn't bullied more. I was an easy target - very quiet, and a loner by the time I reached secondary school. People always say girls are worse but it was 2 boys that bullied me in secondary school. Looking back, I know it was one boy coaxing the other into it. Big boys picking on a girl.
My bullying experience is nowhere near as bad as others get though! My husband was bullied too, as he's on the autistic spectrum. Kids just pick on anything that is different (or anyone that is an easy target - cowards!). It's sad.

[StorybookCircus]

I was badly bullied throughout school, often in really cruel ways involving “frenemies” who invited me into their group just to make me the butt of their jokes. I can’t believe the lengths some groups went to trick me into “opening up” and revealing something else that they could bully me with. Literally psychopathic behaviour!
I think I was a target because I was a studious, serious kid in an environment where it wasn’t cool to act like you cared about anything. I would try to stand up for myself and what I thought was right and probably came across as an insufferable Hermione Granger type. I stand by it though- unfortunately I was at school when “that’s gay” was an insult and applied most of the things I liked to do, from reading to watching films with subtitles (?!) I already knew I was bisexual and didn’t have a problem with telling people to stop saying something so stupid and homophobic. That didn’t make me any friends.
I had a best friend outside of school who I would spend hours on the phone to most nights and hang out with every weekend. There was still a period of about two years where I spent every day at school completely alone. I got my head down and threw myself into schoolwork, but that backfired because academic success became the main source of my self esteem (I wasn’t popular or attractive but at least I was smart) I found A Levels much harder than GCSEs and had a huge crisis of confidence which eventually led to a breakdown in my final year of uni.
I’m 31 now and I’ve got a small but strong group of friends and an incredible partner of 8 years. Being bullied has definitely impacted the way I view myself and the way I interact with the world. I can be quite scathing and judgmental of certain people if they share traits with my bullies. I’m extremely suspicious and sensitive in clique-y environments, I try not to assume that people are talking about me or laughing at me but I’ve sadly been proven right too many times, even as an adult at uni and in the work place. So many times I’ve told myself “stop being crazy, that person’s an adult, they’re definitely not bullying you, it’s your past experience talking”...only to find out that yes, they have been making jokes at my expense!
There have been times where I’ve broken down in front of my partner and begged him to tell me honestly “what’s wrong with me” because I just seem to be a bully magnet. But those that love me love me for who I am and I’m proud of the fact that I haven’t changed or silenced myself to fit in. I’m glad to see so many people in this thread taking bullying seriously Xx

[maidmarian]

Originally Posted by StorybookCircus

I was badly bullied throughout school, often in really cruel ways involving “frenemies” who invited me into their group just to make me the butt of their jokes. I can’t believe the lengths some groups went to trick me into “opening up” and revealing something else that they could bully me with. Literally psychopathic behaviour!
I think I was a target because I was a studious, serious kid in an environment where it wasn’t cool to act like you cared about anything. I would try to stand up for myself and what I thought was right and probably came across as an insufferable Hermione Granger type. I stand by it though- unfortunately I was at school when “that’s gay” was an insult and applied most of the things I liked to do, from reading to watching films with subtitles (?!) I already knew I was bisexual and didn’t have a problem with telling people to stop saying something so stupid and homophobic. That didn’t make me any friends.
I had a best friend outside of school who I would spend hours on the phone to most nights and hang out with every weekend. There was still a period of about two years where I spent every day at school completely alone. I got my head down and threw myself into schoolwork, but that backfired because academic success became the main source of my self esteem (I wasn’t popular or attractive but at least I was smart) I found A Levels much harder than GCSEs and had a huge crisis of confidence which eventually led to a breakdown in my final year of uni.
I’m 31 now and I’ve got a small but strong group of friends and an incredible partner of 8 years. Being bullied has definitely impacted the way I view myself and the way I interact with the world. I can be quite scathing and judgmental of certain people if they share traits with my bullies. I’m extremely suspicious and sensitive in clique-y environments, I try not to assume that people are talking about me or laughing at me but I’ve sadly been proven right too many times, even as an adult at uni and in the work place. So many times I’ve told myself “stop being crazy, that person’s an adult, they’re definitely not bullying you, it’s your past experience talking”...only to find out that yes, they have been making jokes at my expense!
There have been times where I’ve broken down in front of my partner and begged him to tell me honestly “what’s wrong with me” because I just seem to be a bully magnet. But those that love me love me for who I am and I’m proud of the fact that I haven’t changed or silenced myself to fit in. I’m glad to see so many people in this thread taking bullying seriously Xx

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Thank you for coming on here and telling your story.
You are brave and you can rise above the bullies, stay strong hunny and take care Xx

[Twin mummy]

Just to say that it's anti-bullying week starting on Monday. The theme this year is United against bullying
anti-bullyingalliance.or...iAAEgJZ3fD_BwE

Many schools will be using this week as a focus (not that the anti bully message is just given in a week). I'm head of PSHEE at my school and we are using it as our focus for assemblies and PSHEE this week as well as taking part in odd socks day to get across the message that bullying is never ok.
It needs to be embedded in the culture of schools and communities and everyone needs to work together to support each other.

[NewtoOrlando]

Yes, in secondary school. I went to an all girls school, I was one of the chubby ones, from an Irish background and would be called the fat pikey, fat Irish gypsy, I liked football, didnt like boys (at the time) etc. It got out of control when I was in year 9 and a group of girls who were supposedly good friends up until that point, and was accused of being racist due to me saying I didn't like a boy band who were all black - I just didn't like their music, but was bullied beyond belief. Chased home from school, messages left on the school messaging system how I was the fat Irish racist one. I wasn't racist, I was bullied for being from a different background as it was, I couldn't understand how they could call me racist. I ended up having to do my work in the head of years office as it was constant. I had another friend at school, who was bullied by another group of girls for other things and we are nearly 40 years old and still the best of friends.

I sounds awful, but 25 years on, I have no time for those who made my life hell. None at all. One of them passed away about 10 years ago, and there was a massive out pouring of grief on social media. I felt nothing, wouldn't care if anything happened to any of them. I am so so thankful that my 15 year old has got through school pretty unscathed so far, all her friends are weird and wonderful and she embraces that. I will stand up for anyone who is being bullied, it's just not acceptable in any way shape or form.

[maidmarian]

Originally Posted by Twin mummy

Just to say that it's anti-bullying week starting on Monday. The theme this year is United against bullying
anti-bullyingalliance.or...iAAEgJZ3fD_BwE

Many schools will be using this week as a focus (not that the anti bully message is just given in a week). I'm head of PSHEE at my school and we are using it as our focus for assemblies and PSHEE this week as well as taking part in odd socks day to get across the message that bullying is never ok.
It needs to be embedded in the culture of schools and communities and everyone needs to work together to support each other.

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That's great news! Well done to you and the school 🤗

[maidmarian]

Originally Posted by NewtoOrlando

Yes, in secondary school. I went to an all girls school, I was one of the chubby ones, from an Irish background and would be called the fat pikey, fat Irish gypsy, I liked football, didnt like boys (at the time) etc. It got out of control when I was in year 9 and a group of girls who were supposedly good friends up until that point, and was accused of being racist due to me saying I didn't like a boy band who were all black - I just didn't like their music, but was bullied beyond belief. Chased home from school, messages left on the school messaging system how I was the fat Irish racist one. I wasn't racist, I was bullied for being from a different background as it was, I couldn't understand how they could call me racist. I ended up having to do my work in the head of years office as it was constant. I had another friend at school, who was bullied by another group of girls for other things and we are nearly 40 years old and still the best of friends.

I sounds awful, but 25 years on, I have no time for those who made my life hell. None at all. One of them passed away about 10 years ago, and there was a massive out pouring of grief on social media. I felt nothing, wouldn't care if anything happened to any of them. I am so so thankful that my 15 year old has got through school pretty unscathed so far, all her friends are weird and wonderful and she embraces that. I will stand up for anyone who is being bullied, it's just not acceptable in any way shape or form.

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No it's not acceptable and good for you for staying strong 🤗

[jovimum]

[QUOTE=Hermione;14703976]Yep and I still despise her and hope bad things happen to her.i know it's not healthy but I can't let it go

Im exactly the same!
Mine happened in secondary school - im now in my forties and thinking of that still gives me anxiety. Was a little harder when growing up as she was part of the family and mum and dad took its side.

[salmim]

1962 my brother and myself used to walk across a Rugby Ground to get to our school. At the other end of the ground a "big boy" would wait for us follow us to school and basically kick us up the ≈≈≈≈ the rest of the way to school. We were in infants (age 5 and 6) he was top year at junior so guess 10.
Anyway what this lad didnt know that oldest brother was "cock of year" in first year of secondary school.
So we told him.😊
Never got bullied again.
You could get away with a certain amount of punches, kicks and head locks in those days that you couldnt now.


Really sad to see all this "cyber" bullying. Is it to easy to think the solution would be to just come off social media? I guess that's not the answer.

PS. still see the "bully" he's an old fella on sticks. Where have the years gone.