Son was assaulted at school this afternoon!

[daytonababe]

Originally Posted by buryboy

Good to hear how the school are dealing with it . However surprised it appears the head of year has decided that your son wasn’t at fault . I am not saying anything to suggest he is , but you have the gather the evidence first . The prior actions ( good or bad ) of someone shouldn’t determine the outcome.

See more...

Said unofficially to the boys mother though ..

When my daughter was being targeted I had many a conversation with her head of year and form tutor .
Both were absolutely frustrated and disgusted by how little was being done by those in charge .. and I’m fairly sure a lot of what was said to me would have got both in trouble.

They both knew in our case exactly who was in the wrong .. they had taught these kids for 5 years and seen what their behaviour was like .

And it’s probably the same in the case of the teachers involved here .

[Princess Ariel]

Originally Posted by daytonababe

Said unofficially to the boys mother though ..

When my daughter was being targeted I had many a conversation with her head of year and form tutor .
Both were absolutely frustrated and disgusted by how little was being done by those in charge .. and I’m fairly sure a lot of what was said to me would have got both in trouble.

They both knew in our case exactly who was in the wrong .. they had taught these kids for 5 years and seen what their behaviour was like .

And it’s probably the same in the case of the teachers involved here .

See more...

Yes this is the impression I got, the first thing she said to me was that in no way did they believe DS instigated or provoked this attack or said the things he was being accused of (I think because he’s being accused of being racist) she said ‘we know exactly the type of boy Jacob is’ I think it’s because as soon as you meet Jacob you can tell he just isn’t a fighter or troublemaker and would never say a bad word to anyone, in fact he’s the total opposite (I know I sound like a gushing mum now lol!)
This is why I have taken the action that I have, I know this wasn’t just a couple of kids having a scrap at school because Jacob just isn’t like that. To be honest I got the impression that the school are worrying this could have been the beginning of a bullying episode.

[Fluffypenguin]

I’m really glad that the school are taking it seriously and also that he has his mum to defend him, that’s the main thing really, having people on your side to defend you.

When I was at school and went through spells of being bullied and picked on, no one did anything and I think that was the worst thing. I remember when I was being bullied by friends, I resorted to sitting in the learning mentors room for a few days to escape, this resulted in an angry senior member of staff turning up one day and aggressively telling me to get back to my classes! Yet she was happy for the other kids in their to stay. It made my whole high school experience miserable and I ran out of the gates when I left in year 11.

I didn’t come from a nice background though, the school was in a deprived area and I was the stereotypical kid from the council estate with a single parent, so a lot of the teachers just saw me as scum who wouldn’t amount to much, just because I could have an attitude, that’s where I went wrong! 🙄😀

[Princess Ariel]

Originally Posted by Fluffypenguin

I’m really glad that the school are taking it seriously and also that he has his mum to defend him, that’s the main thing really, having people on your side to defend you.

When I was at school and went through spells of being bullied and picked on, no one did anything and I think that was the worst thing. I remember when I was being bullied by friends, I resorted to sitting in the learning mentors room for a few days to escape, this resulted in an angry senior member of staff turning up one day and aggressively telling me to get back to my classes! Yet she was happy for the other kids in their to stay. It made my whole high school experience miserable and I ran out of the gates when I left in year 11.

I didn’t come from a nice background though, the school was in a deprived area and I was the stereotypical kid from the council estate with a single parent, so a lot of the teachers just saw me as scum who wouldn’t amount to much, just because I could have an attitude, that’s where I went wrong! 🙄😀

See more...

Oh my this sounds just like my upbringing. I was abused by my mother (physically and emotionally) my parents were both alcoholics who went out drinking all weekend and would come home and fight, my mum would attack my dad resulting in head injuries, cuts broken glass everywhere, police being called and us kids being dragged in the middle of the night to neighbours houses. My mum wasn’t a nice person and the school hated her but took it out on me. I was bullied all through primary and high school and like you teachers saw me as typical council estate trash not worth helping because I wouldn’t amount to anything (even though I was bright and well behaved!) I remember looking at career opportunities once at high school and as soon as I saw the word degree I counted myself out as I believed that ‘kids like me don’t go to university’ I actually believed that of myself!
The worst thing about this (in my opinion) as a child isn’t the bullying and abuse it’s the absolute loneliness and isolation you feel. That’s what is hard to get over as an adult, the feeling of worthlessness.

I vowed when I had my own children that they would never ever go through or have to feel the way I did and hopefully I’ve achieved that.
Oh and to all my teachers who thought I was a lost cause...I went to uni, got a degree and am now a very proud mental health nurse

[Fluffypenguin]

Originally Posted by Princess Ariel

Oh my this sounds just like my upbringing. I was abused by my mother (physically and emotionally) my parents were both alcoholics who went out drinking all weekend and would come home and fight, my mum would attack my dad resulting in head injuries, cuts broken glass everywhere, police being called and us kids being dragged in the middle of the night to neighbours houses. My mum wasn’t a nice person and the school hated her but took it out on me. I was bullied all through primary and high school and like you teachers saw me as typical council estate trash not worth helping because I wouldn’t amount to anything (even though I was bright and well behaved!) I remember looking at career opportunities once at high school and as soon as I saw the word degree I counted myself out as I believed that ‘kids like me don’t go to university’ I actually believed that of myself!
The worst thing about this (in my opinion) as a child isn’t the bullying and abuse it’s the absolute loneliness and isolation you feel. That’s what is hard to get over as an adult, the feeling of worthlessness.

I vowed when I had my own children that they would never ever go through or have to feel the way I did and hopefully I’ve achieved that.
Oh and to all my teachers who thought I was a lost cause...I went to uni, got a degree and am now a very proud mental health nurse

See more...

That’s so sad to read. my mum was/is an alcoholic and had/has mental health problems. I didn’t live with my dad, but he also had a drink problem and his own mental health problems. Although I wasn’t abused, I was emotionally neglected and often neglected physically too. I was never physically abused though and it wasn’t like what you went through, but I did feel invisible a lot of the time and I felt like if I died, no one would notice because everyone was too wrapped up in their own problems. My mum wasn’t emotionally or physically affectionate, she didn’t do hugs or say I love you.

I think this is what affected my confidence and it’s why when I went to school, I could act out a lot. I knew at home that my mum was suffering and I didn’t want to add to her suffering by being a pain, so I was good as gold, but when I went to school, I rebelled and I could be disrespectful to teachers. I think I was quite bitter too, I’d see the kids from the good homes being adored by the teachers and then they’d go home to be adored by their parents, it made me sick with jealousy. I think other kids saw me as miserable and weird, that’s probably why I was a target for bullies.

This is probably why the teachers saw me (and most of the other kids like me) as lost causes and not worth their time. I wasn’t likeable, so they didn’t want to help. I don’t have children because I don’t want to break a child like I was broken, I lack a lot of normal emotions and I don’t feel I could give another human being wha they need.

Still, I did go on to get a degree, I now have a mortgage and I’m happy. That’s what matters. You should be really proud of yourself for what you have achieved, you’re obviously a great mum who clearly wants to help and support her children. 💜

[Princesa]

Originally Posted by duchy

If the boys as is likely were in uniform then they can become involved ( not all schools do).
It’s like if I worked for let’s say ASDA as they have a distinctive fleece you see staff wearing travelling to and from work and got involved in brawl it’d be gross misconduct as I’d have brought the company into disrepute.

Bullying is horrible and there are no easy solutions but that doesn’t mean it should ever be ignored.

See more...

I agree that the school should be aware of what is going on, but it’s hard for a school to punish a child for things that happen outside of school hours. Staff sign a contract saying they won’t do anything to bring a company into disrepute, it’s more difficult with students and some schools are unwilling/unable to act upon this. Though I wasn’t aware that depended on the LEA as an earlier poster said. School should be aware and help the investigations, but as it’s in public the police need to be involved. I’m definitely on the side that it shouldn’t be ignored.

[Omega1]

Originally Posted by Princesa

I agree that the school should be aware of what is going on, but it’s hard for a school to punish a child for things that happen outside of school hours. Staff sign a contract saying they won’t do anything to bring a company into disrepute, it’s more difficult with students and some schools are unwilling/unable to act upon this. Though I wasn’t aware that depended on the LEA as an earlier poster said. School should be aware and help the investigations, but as it’s in public the police need to be involved. I’m definitely on the side that it shouldn’t be ignored.

See more...

DfE guidance for schools is clear regarding pupil conduct and discipline outside of schools. It applies to all schools and academies and is not local authority specific. We were always advised that ‘time and distance’ away from school were important. Incidents on journeys to and from school or at a weekend if linked to an ongoing incident eg bullying, were clearly within the school’s remit. An incident in the middle of the summer holiday wouldn’t be.
assets.publishing.service.go...hool_Staff.pdf Page 9.